So let's talk about putting others first versus putting yourself first.
I'm gonna be getting to some affirmations regarding this topic in just a bit.
But first, let's just have a quick conversation to explore this important topic.
Now, there's not just one way to approach this, because people have a wide variety of
perspectives on this.
For instance, and I'm sure you know people like this ... There are definitely human beings
on the planet that always seem to put themselves first.
They're very self-centered, and if anything, they probably do need to focus more on serving
other people, or at least being mindful and aware of how their words and their actions,
their behaviors affect other people.
And so most of what we're going to be discussing here doesn't apply completely to those types
of people.
But I contend that most human beings, and I'm assuming that includes you, probably focus
more on other people in a way that doesn't serve the other people and doesn't serve yourself.
So let's talk about this.
Quite often, because of the way we were raised or messages we got when we were children growing
up -- certainly messages from certain religious traditions talk about the importance of serving
others and being compassionate and being empathetic -- and those are great messages.
People who delivered them to you when you were younger had noble intentions, but if
you took that to heart to an extreme, like a lot of people do, you may have created a
situation where the majority of your focus is on other people.
You always put other people first and your needs come second or are pushed down.
There's nothing wrong with that on the surface, but over the long haul, when you deny yourself
your own desires, your own longings, your own interests just to serve others, it can
kinda come back to bite you.
So if you think that describes you, let's see if we can change some of those patterns
now.
I've noticed that, and it's not always the case, but in particular women are affected
by this.
They generally have a nurturing quality, especially when it comes to their families.
The focus is on the kids.
The focus is on the spouse or the significant other.
But many men are afflicted, if I can say that, with this need or this focus on serving other
people.
Again, there's nothing wrong with this, but when you deny your own needs, you're not in
the best position to help others.
You've probably heard about the comparison to the instructions that they give you before
a commercial airplane takes off.
They say: In the event that we lose pressure and the oxygen masks drop, if you're tending
to a child or someone with special needs, they always say, put the oxygen mask on yourself
first, then help the other person.
And that's a great analogy or a metaphor for what we're talking about here.
If you lose consciousness, if you're not in a position to help that person in that particular
airline scenario, then you're not going to be serving their needs very well.
So let's just take that idea and apply it to our lives.
Make sure that you are energized, that you are fulfilled, that you're giving yourself
all the fuel and the energy and the nurturing that you require.
You are in a much better position then to serve others.
You also set a great example for your family and your friends.
If you are pursuing your own interests and your own desires and passions, it encourages
them to do the same thing.
So let's say some affirmations that will reinforce this and bring it to your awareness so that
you catch yourself in those moments of denying yourself pleasure, denying yourself the ability
to do something that you crave, that you want to do.
Maybe you can change your behavior.
So here's a great one.
Repeat it after me.
Putting myself first is the best way to serve others.
Say that to yourself.
One more time.
Putting myself first is the best way to serve others.
Also, one of the reasons people don't put themselves first is they maybe don't feel
that they deserve it or that they're worthy of it.
So let's see if we can shift that perspective, too.
I nurture myself because I deserve it.
Say that.
Again, I nurture myself because I deserve it.
Let's restate in another way.
Repeat this one.
I am worthy of self-love and serving my own needs.
Let's just change up the wording on that one ever so slightly.
I am worthy of loving myself and serving my needs.
And here's a good one to reinforce what I said earlier.
Repeat this back to yourself.
When I serve my needs, I have more energy to serve others.
One more time.
When I serve my needs, I have more energy to serve others.
Can you see the truth in that?
This isn't just some kind of fable that you're telling yourself.
It really is the truth.
If you're depleted, if you're pushing down your own interests and putting things off
because you need to cater to the kids or the parents or the spouse, your community, the
volunteer organization, your coworkers, your boss, your employees ... the list goes on
and on.
If everyone else is the focus of you delivering value and service, but you're left out of
that equation, you will deplete yourself.
You'll become frustrated.
You may not even know why, but there will be a sense of unfulfillment, of apathy, of
"What's the purpose of all this?"
So I'm not saying to stop serving other people's needs.
That's a great attribute to have -- to be aware of when someone needs something -- to
be there for your friends, certainly.
But be sure that you make the time and effort to nurture yourself -- to make sure that you
get enough rest and nutrition and physical activity, to scratch all the creative itches
that you have, to take the class that you've always wanted to take, to take the trip you've
always wanted to take.
Stop putting all those things off because that will fill you up.
It'll fuel you.
It'll energize you and give you much more focus and energy to do more good in the world.
So here's another affirmation to repeat back to yourself.
Nurturing myself is the most caring thing I can do for everyone.
That's a great affirmation.
Say it again with feeling.
Nurturing myself is the most caring thing I can do for everyone.
So the bottom line is, this is a balancing act.
You nurture yourself -- pay attention to your own insights, inspiration, and make sure those
things are fulfilled, which then allows you to share that and to positively influence
others.
And you also certainly get satisfaction from serving others.
So it becomes like a, a circular transaction that just feeds itself and grows.
All right, so in the days and the weeks ahead, just be aware.
How often are you serving others?
How often are you serving yourself?
How often do these things overlap?
Do you catch yourself denying yourself pleasures and inclinations that seem to be calling you
from a higher realm?
And just slowly make different choices in your behavior so that your needs are being
met, too.
At times, put yourself first, which would then give you the fuel, the energy, the fulfillment
then to serve humanity or whatever little slice of it that you have an influence over.
I hope this makes sense.
I hope this spoke to you and you can apply it to your specific situation, to your life,
and to your circumstances.
All right.
I believe in you.
I'm cheering you on, and I'm so proud of you for listening to these recordings so that
you can live a more inspiring and empowered life.
Until we meet again.
This is Bob Baker.
So long for now, and have an awesome day!