As we celebrate America's birthday this week, let's look at some of the fundamental rights
that make our country worth celebrating. The First Amendment alone is crammed with essential
freedoms. You can speak your mind. You can practice your religion. And as long as it's
on a bagel, you can have pizza any time. But lately, the government seems to be having
second thoughts about one of our First Amendment rights.
- I'm with the Des Moines Register! I'm going! I'm with the Des Moines Register! I'm with
the Des Moines Register! I’m going, I’m going! [screams]
- [screams] I'm getting shot. I'm getting- - Katie? Katie, are you okay?
- As we see, that camera person just got shot. They just shot at that man. He clearly has
"press" on his helmet right there. - I'm press!
- I don't care. Get down. - I'm press.
- I don't care. Get down. - I am press. Please—
- I'm media. I'm media. I'm media. I'm media! What the f—, I'm media!
No, this is not normal! Journalists shouldn't have to deal with being threatened by the
police. They should just have to deal with being threatened by buffalo. Like the freaked
out guy in this video. - Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh no, I ain't messing
with you. Police were mostly busy beating up protesters,
but they still found time to go after journalists who were clearly identified as press, targeting
them with arrests, rubber bullets, pepper spray, and good-old fashioned beatings. In
more than 50 documented physical attacks by police, reporters have been bruised; they
have been bloodied. One was even permanently blinded in one eye when she was shot in the
face with a "non-lethal projectile." Fortunately, the president saw these injustices and responded
quickly to defend the First Amendment. - He said: “The Lamestream Media is doing
everything within their power to foment hatred and anarchy. As long as everybody understands
what they are doing, that they are fake news and truly bad people with a sick agenda.”
So, if you've ever wondered if Trump still sounds like an a—hole even in a British
accent, the answer is yes. Look, I know, it's not exactly a revelation that the president
is always trying to undermine the media, but that's the problem. We're all so used to it
that we act like it's normal. And the more we ignore anti-press sentiment in America,
the more it will spread. Kind of like my rash in the shape of Bob Balaban. Both have been
allowed to grow for too long, and both desperately need to be examined. America expects presidents
to have some friction with journalists, but Trump is different. He's subjected the media
to thousands of hostile tweets and a constant barrage of verbal abuse.
- As you know, I have a running war with the media. They are the fake, fake disgusting
news. These people are the worst. They are the enemy of the people. They don't like our
country. These are sick people. They are among the most dishonest people anywhere on earth.
They're bad people. Bad people. I would never kill 'em. But I do hate 'em.
The problem with Trump is that he's an emotional weakling whose entire self-worth is based
on how successful he looks to others. Parents, this is why you have to hug your children
and tell them you love them. Especially the unlovable loser ones, like Donald clearly
was. Unfortunately for us, Trump was raised by an abusive racist and that wire monkey
you read about in psychology class, so he's a bottomless pit of neediness who demands
constant validation from the media. That's why even the suck-ups at Fox News are only
as good as their latest up-sucking. - Fox News? I think they cover me terribly.
- Frankly, Fox is great. - I was watching Fox this morning. They treat
me so badly. Fox treats me worse than anybody. - Fox has treated me fairly.
- I think Fox treats me terribly. I will say CNN treats me much better than Fox does.
- CNN’s the worst. - I'm not happy with Fox.
- Fox is good, you know, they're okay. And then yesterday he said, "I just really
feel like I could fix Fox, you know?" It's not really shocking that Trump gets pissed
at the press. Especially because they used to say things like this about him.
- He is tall, lean and blond with dazzling white teeth, and he looks ever so much like
Robert Redford. For viewers under 30 who don't know why the
rest of us are vomiting, Robert Redford is the evil grand-zaddy from "Captain America:
the Winter Soldier." When Trump became president, he was crushed to find that the job comes
with criticism, and that the glowing PR he got from the business media isn't typical
of the political press. - The first day, I won. It was historic. I
said, “Now they're gonna respect what we did. I'm gonna get great publicity for a while,
like I used to get my whole life.” And it got worse! It's worse, eh, it's not even close!
The poor b— truly thought the press would fall in love with him the way that Katherine
Heigl eventually fell for James Marsden in 27 Dresses. Aww, he was her 27th dress. Since
the media refuse to love him back, Trump has chosen to do the mature thing and use his
presidential power to destroy them. His administration has limited media access by revoking press
passes and suspending briefings held by a press secretary for more than a year. He called
for investors to sue ABC, and he's threatened Washington Post owner Jeff Bezos with just
about every government resource available, from the DOJ to the Postal Service to the
U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. Trump fired another shot at the press recently when his
campaign sued CNN, the New York Times and the Washington Post for libel over opinion
pieces about Russian election interference. But even conservative outlets say Trump's
chances of winning these anti-media lawsuits are as hopeless as the time he sued Maxim
for putting his address label over Yasmine Bleeth's areolae.