Hey guys, welcome everybody to yet another video
in which I’m going to share with you phrases, questions,
things that you shouldn’t say to other
people because they are either inappropriate or offensive.
Of course for every word and phrase there’s a time and
place. And the green light for using different
controversial phrases hugely
depends on the way you’re using
them and on the people you’re using them with.
If you’re just fooling around and people understand
you and know you – you’re on the same
page. It’s ok to use them. But let’s talk about
those inappropriate situations.
And before we start I want to thank the sponsor of today’s
video Skillhare. I’ll talk about them later on in
this video so stick around. You don’t want to miss it. And the first
phrase will be “No offence but”
oh this is such a notorious phrase.
I’m sure you have heard about this phrase.
People use it when they actually want to offend someone
but then kind of conceal it with this phrase.
Listen we all have our own thoughts, opinions and prejudices,
but that doesn’t mean that we have to throw our opinion
out there or that this is our mission
to tell someone what we think. It can have consequences
for us or that other person. We have to
think before saying or writing something. Is it
that necessary to let someone know that we
don’t like something? Words have power.
Words have power to heal or to kill.
And not literally, but figuratively.
We can kill someone else’s dream for example.
I’m sure we don’t want to be responsible for that.
or “No offence but…and whatever insult
someone can come up with” – Nooo…
totally out of place because it’s really not our place
to criticize others. As they say, If you don’t
have anything nice to say – don’t say anything at all. But
if you’re goofing around with this phrase and certain folks I think is ok.
Saying something like “No offence but….
I like it. It’s brilliant” or
“No offence but I think this dress looks….
gorgeous on you” You know what I mean
It depends on how you use this phrase but if
someone wants to insult someone else then no no no no.
Using the phase “To take the piss”
in the U.S. It is actually a funny one.
Because it’s a British phrase which means to joke
around, make fun of someone. But in the United
States to take a piss means to
urinate, but it’s kind of rude to say this this way. In
Europe teachers mostly teach British English
and you should know that some expressions,
words and even grammar differ
And I’m sure that a lot of people from the US know that
it’s a British phrase and wouldn’t be surprised,
but the majority of people wouldn’t understand.
“You rub me the wrong way”.
To rub someone the wrong way is a phrase which means
to annoy someone. You
know it’s not a nice one and usually people use it
to gossip about someone behind their back. It’s not very
nice but what is even worse is to say this to someone
directly. It’s inappropriate. It’s
absolutely the same as saying “You irritate me”.
Don’t say this directly to people’s faces,
cuz you don’t know who you’re talking to, and you may get a knuckle sandwich.
I can’t stand the American accent.
The real and proper accent is the British accent.
I get this kind of message very
often and sometimes people use even harsher words,
so obviously they know what they want to say.
Guys I understand that we are all different
we like different things, we have different opinions.
You know different strokes for different folks.
And of course we have the right to express them. However
let’s not forget about simple manners and respect.
If you like the British accent or Australian accent or
whatever accent that’s great, they are all beautiful.
But there’s no need to be so harsh
and use such offensive language.
Because you actually offend every person
that speaks with this accent. And what if someone said something
like that about native language and your accent.
But maybe someone doesn’t know the meaning of this phrase
and they just used in a wrong way. So
“can’t stand” means you dislike something very
much that you have a strong sense of
disgust for someone or something. I think
that’s inappropriate! But what do guys think, is this ok?
I know it can be a touchy subject,
but I also think it’s important to talk about these things.
So feel free to share your opinion
but just you know in a polite way.
Cuz I’ve gotten such messages a couple of times from people
assuming that I was a native speaker. Although I’m not
it was my choice to learn this accent,
I didn’t like reading such messages whatsoever.
Maybe they didn’t mean anything bad or
offensive but you should know that it definitely sounds like this.
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miss this opportunity. Now this next question
isn’t offensive but the way in which it is asked is inappropriate.
How can you help me? I get this question very often
from people and I understand that they mean ‘Can
you help me? Or how can I learn from you, maybe you give
private classes or whatever? But when you put
a question this way it sounds like “I don’t believe
that you actually know something so
how can you help me, what can you actually suggest?”
or “You’re obligated to help and to offer me something”
or maybe you want a person to guess how can they be useful
for you? That’s a possibility. Usually you
can hear this question “How can I help you?” or “How can I serve you?”
in restaurants or from sales clerks
or from anyone whose job is to help you with something
particular. So if you want to ask someone to help
you with something and it can be anything it’s better to say
“Can you help me, please? Or if
you want to be super polite you can say
“Would you be so kind as to help me?”
Using “should” and “must”. Should and must
are very formal and used to express obligation
or duty and often when someone
uses one of these words, it’s perceived by
other people as a critique of their actions.
So when we use them sometimes it sounds like
criticism or an order. For example I’m going to
speak for myself read some of the things that people write to me.
I understand that those are suggestions, but they sound like an order
or disapproval. Like I don’t like it, don’t do this
or change this because that’s what I want. And of course
I gave some of my examples and I understand
people especially language learners
that may not know these things, but it’s considered impolite.
Instead you can say something like
or something like this
Sure thing that people use these words. For example your
boss can tell you that you should already be at your work
at 8 a.m. because that’s your job, your obligation.
Or when a doctor says that you shouldn’t smoke
and you should take care of your health
cuz smoking is bad and if you want be healthy it’s better
to take of yourself. But even in this case it might
be perceived by someone as you know “Don’t
what to do, mind your own business and don’t criticize my ways”
Or you can use them when you give advice especially when someone asks for it.
like
Or when you’re talking about your own actions
also when you say “You should apologize”,
because when someone has done something wrong to someone else
they really should apologize. It’s almost like an obligation.
Or we use it when something is expected for example
and so on.
But if you want to make a suggestion or share your opinion there are more
appropriate and polite ways to share them like those
that I mentioned before. Thank you guys for taking your time
to watch this video.
Subscribe, hit the bell, like it and leave us your comments.
Sending you lots of love and till the next video.