hey everyone I'm Frank I'm glad to see you back at my channel watching yet
another video today I wanted to today I wanted to just make a quick video about
how INFJs fade into the background in social situations almost like you're
Marty McFly and Back to the Future playing guitar and looking at your hand
and it's just disappearing right in front of you until your dad beat you've
probably been there where you're in let's say group maybe not there maybe
not your best friend group but then again we don't have a lot of best
friends do we so you're in a group of acquaintances friends and all of a
sudden you realize I'm not really a part of this conversation I'm just an
observer I'm like on the outside of it too like this person next to me
literally has his back toward me and people aren't like turning and saying
hey man what do you think life is happening you and you're just being
ignored you know but I want to tell you that I want to kind of go into what I
see the reasons for it why this happens and to tell you you shouldn't feel so
bad about it it's nothing personal these people don't hate you they don't
think that you're like lesser then it's just the way our personality works the
dynamics of it and something you might be surprised about too so first of all
this is just a basic introduce well maybe better than anyone else is
the taking in of energy rather than the giving out of energy so in any situation
you can be giving out energy or you can kind of just be absorbing it and what we
do best is absorb it and when you're doing this you don't become you're not
really on anyone's radar because you're you're not giving out anything to be
picked up and that's just that's just what we're good at that's like
default as an infj is to be taking in rather than giving out now we can give
out you've done it I'm sure that's why we're called the social chameleon
because there can be times where if someone walked in and never met you
before it say oh that person there is an extrovert and they're talking about you
because depending on what situation you're in you can be all over the place
INFJs are actually the most extroverted of the introverts but that doesn't mean
that we always look like an extrovert and actually our I think our default is
to just be taking in energy and in the dynamics of a group that means people
aren't going to really be engaging with you until you give out some energy
unless you have someone else who's very aware who is trying to get energy out of
you but for the most part most people it doesn't cross their mind secondly this
might be me going out on a limb here it might be but I'm gonna put it out there
anyway for you to ridicule and tell me I'm an idiot
I think that we listen so well and we take in so well we absorb other people's
emotions and INFj's are so intuitive that we can you know read a situation I
mean that's our dominant function inverted intuition we can take in all
the information about a situation I kind of just feel out what's going to happen
people may not consciously put this together but they can be a little bit
intimidated by it or put off by how present you are how much you're taking
in and even if they might not be thinking oh man this this guy's taking
in every detail they'll kind of subconsciously perhaps realize that
you're not just being quiet but you are act
taking in everything and processing it and for some people they don't
understand that and it's a little intimidating because it's a mystery they
see you're taking in all the stuff and they have no idea what's going on in
your head I don't know if you've ever been called unreadable but many people
have called me unreadable I do think that we tend to be kind of mysterious
and people don't know what to make of us and so they don't want to engage with us
because they're really not sure what's going on
up here and it's not anything against you it's just they would rather have you
make the first move and put yourself out there and give them a little bit of a
heads up what's going on up there before they start to engage because they have
no idea I hope that can shed some light on it that's that's my theory on it and
it has nothing to do with other people judging you or thinking you suck it's
just it has to do with how they're reading the situation and so my
suggestion is if you find you're in one of those situations where you're kind of
fading away just put out a little something so that people realize they
can make sense of what's going on in your head and you'll be surprised
because they also along with that being kind of intimidated by you taking in
stuff they I think there's an inherent respect that we can get and that comes
from not speaking much people really respect that in my experience as I've
gotten older I talk way less in social situations not like I was ever a
chatterbox but I just rarely talk I I would rather listen and when I speak I
want it to mean something and I don't want to just talk to hear the sound of
my own voice or even if I think I have an opinion to Express
I'm often I will think before I speak and I'm like does it matter if I express
my opinion here and usually it's no it's like what do I accomplish by expressing
myself now you might think that's like a
negative thing where I'm like Oh me well I don't have anything say no one cares
but it's more like actually just recognizing that sometimes I don't have
things to offer even if my ego thinks I do and to just talk for the sake of
talking to express an opinion there's no reason for it I tend to only speak when
I think it's really necessary for helping someone else understand
something or to add something that I know is a value where I'm like oh these
people don't see this thing that I can clearly see let me share that with them
rather than just saying oh you think this will I think this well I think
you're wrong I don't like that why bother and that's what most
conversations are if you really look at a conversation it's people saying what
they like don't like usually what they don't like and then stuff that's
happened to them where they're the star of their you know stories but they're
usually mundane and don't have a point you can tell how much I like being
around other people can't you do all that to say don't take it personally
you're not really fading away they're probably more aware of you than you
realize and they just don't know how to deal with you because you're that cool
that about wraps it up for this show thanks for watching I appreciate it
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peace I'm never gonna end the video that way
again