hello my name is abigail and welcome back to polyglot progress i have had a bad week
and while 98 of it has been completely unrelated to language learning i found myself feeling
a little bit frustrated with my bulgarian recently and now felt like a good time to
make a video about something i've wanted to talk about for a while which is frustration
in language learning though frustration isn't always exclusively a bad thing because it
can serve as a sign for you that things need to change in what you're doing it can be really
disruptive and overall quite damaging to your motivation to learn a language and is also
just not a fun emotion and feeling to be having so today i just want to talk a little bit
about the causes of frustration and ways that we can avoid or overcome that frustration
and with that i just want to point out that while i am going to be talking about frustration
within language learning and the things in language learning that can cause frustration
sometimes feeling frustrated in language learning actually has nothing to really do with language
learning sometimes like for me this last week there are things going on in your life outside
of language learning that exacerbate those little moments of irritation or anxiety or
struggle within your language learning and create full blown frustration assessing whether
your frustration is actually just coming from your language learning or is actually really
caused by outside frustration or anxiety or stress can help you to figure out what needs
to change in order to feel less frustrated when studying your target language and i think
that this is really really important when the frustration ends up not coming directly
from your language learning and is impacted by your outside life because in those cases
sometimes the healthiest thing and the thing that is going to be best for your language
learning long term isn't a total revamp of the methods or resources you're using i've
said it before i will say it again sometimes the best thing you can do for your language
learning is to take a break from language learning burning yourself out by giving 150
to your language learning while you're dealing with outside responsibilities or stressors
or whatever is ultimately going to be a lot less productive and damaging to your long-term
motivation than taking a step back taking the time you need to get everything else sorted
out and then coming back to the language when you're ready to learn and ready to practice
new things but talking about feelings of frustration within language learning starting with feeling
like you're stuck or you're not progressing it can be super frustrating to feel like you
are putting a ton of time a ton of energy a ton of commitment into language learning
and that you're not seeing any progress and while this might actually just be based on
your own expectations which i will talk about in a minute and you might actually be making
more progress than you're thinking sometimes you are putting a lot of time and energy into
it and you're not seeing any sort of change and in those cases i feel like it's usually
a sign that the methods or resources that you're currently using are not the methods
or resources that are the most effective and efficient for you at this moment i think a
really important aspect of language learning is taking the time to reflect on what you've
been doing and checking in on kind of all of the resources and methods you're using
and assessing what's working well for you and what isn't even if you've been using one
approach for a really long time or a certain textbook works really really well for a lot
of people and it gets great reviews that doesn't mean that it is the best approach or best
resource for you and something i've definitely learned learning multiple languages is that
sometimes the resources and approaches that work best for me in some of the languages
aren't even the things that work best for me in other languages and sticking with something
just because you feel like you have to even though it is really not working for you at
all is going to be extremely frustrating so finding resources and methods that you really
enjoy using and that you feel like are effective for you are really going to help to reduce
that feeling of frustration even if it is a really difficult language for you that said
it can be really easy to get so caught up in trying to find the perfect method or the
perfect resource that you don't actually get to study your target language at all so don't
dwell on trying to find the perfect resource or that feeling of desperately needing to
progress faster and needing to find the resource that will do that just focus on where you're
at right now what needs to change in order to get you where you want to be and what you
can do in the meantime to work on that from there i think it's really just about trusting
the process and knowing that you can always go back and change your methods and your resources
again down the line if they're still not working for you and just keep in mind that i don't
think there's a resource out there that you can get absolutely nothing out of even if
you feel like you've been using a textbook for a really long time and now you've realized
that it's not the best resource for you and you're really frustrated that you haven't
seen progress and that you've been sticking with that chances are you at least improved
your vocabulary or maybe grasped one grammar concept or were able to read a whole exercise
on your own they may be small things but i think it's really important to not be too
hard on yourself for time that is supposedly wasted because i don't think any of it is
you can only continue to find things that work better for you in the future and celebrate
the things that you did accomplish in that time speaking of mindset when it comes to
feeling frustrated because you feel like you're not meeting expectations my biggest piece
of advice is to set realistic expectations for yourself i recently made a video on sticking
to your goals and i talked a little bit about how it is so important to set realistic goals
because setting unrealistic goals just makes it so much harder to accomplish them not just
because it's harder to accomplish them but because it will affect your motivation and
make it harder to actually work on those goals and in exactly the same way setting unrealistic
goals or unrealistic expectations for yourself is going to lead to a lot of frustration from
feeling like you're never actually achieving what you set out to do like i said in that
video setting realistic goals and expectations for yourself does not have to mean setting
really easy goals or having really low expectations for yourself it's really just about taking
a look at your current lifestyle and commitments and responsibilities and recognizing what
is and isn't realistic to expect of yourself right now when it comes to friends family
co-workers whoever else might have an opinion or expectations for your language learning
the biggest thing to remember is that you are the person learning the language and they
are not your expectations are the only expectations you have to meet and also everyone else's
expectations of you are going to be unrealistic even if they are things that you could realistically
achieve and that's going to sound weird but you are the only person who knows how much
time you can really commit to a language your schedule your commitments your current level
of comfortability using it what you find your strengths are in language learning what you
find really difficult what you want out of language learning because it's not always
the same as what other people would want out of a language they learn your current mental
health your current physical health literally everything else in your life and so while
it can be really easy i know at least for myself to feel really impacted by what other
people expect of me when it comes to my language learning the biggest thing for me to remember
and that i would say for all of you to remember is just that they don't know everything about
where you're currently feeling you are with your language as well as all of the things
that impact your learning itself while your cousin's friend may have reached a b2 speaking
level in the same language you're studying in a year that doesn't mean that that is realistic
for you or is something that you even want you are the only one on your language learning
journey and you're the only one whose expectations actually matter in your language learning
journey you can feel frustrated that your family and friends and random people online
or whoever it is are saying those things to you but just remember that they are not expectations
that you actually have to feel frustrated for not meeting
learning, I’ve found myself feeling a little bit frustrated with my Bulgarian recently
and now felt like a good time to make a video about something I've wanted to talk about
for a while, which is frustration in language learning.
Though frustration isn't always exclusively a bad thing because it can serve as a sign
for you that things need to change in what you're doing, it can be really disruptive
and overall quite damaging to your motivation to learn a language and is also just not a
fun emotion and feeling to be having.
So today I just want to talk a little bit about the causes of frustration and ways that
we can avoid or overcome that frustration.
And with that I just want to point out that, while I am going to be talking about frustration
within language learning and the things in language learning that can cause frustration,
sometimes feeling frustrated in language learning actually has nothing to really do with language
learning.
Sometimes, like for me this last week, there are things going on in your life outside of
language learning that exacerbate those little moments of irritation or anxiety or struggle
within your language learning and create full blown frustration.
Assessing whether your frustration is actually just coming from your language learning or
is actually really caused by outside frustration or anxiety or stress can help you to figure
out what needs to change in order to feel less frustrated when studying your target
language and I think that this is really really important when the frustration ends up not
coming directly from your language learning and is impacted by your outside life, because
in those cases sometimes the healthiest thing and the thing that is going to be best for
your language learning long term isn't a total revamp of the methods or resources you're
using.
I've said it before, I will say it again, sometimes the best thing you can do for your
language learning is to take a break from language learning.
Burning yourself out by giving 150% to your language learning while you're dealing with
outside responsibilities or stressors or whatever is ultimately going to be a lot less productive
and damaging to your long-term motivation than taking a step back taking the time you
need to get everything else sorted out and then coming back to the language when you're
ready to learn and ready to practice new things.
But talking about feelings of frustration within language learning, starting with feeling
like you're stuck or you're not progressing:
It can be super frustrating to feel like you are putting a ton of time, a ton of energy,
a ton of commitment into language learning and that you're not seeing any progress.
And while this might actually just be based on your own expectations, which I will talk
about in a minute, and you might actually be making more progress than you're thinking,
sometimes you are putting a lot of time and energy into it and you're not seeing any sort
of change and in those cases I feel like it's usually a sign that the methods or resources
that you're currently using are not the methods or resources that are the most effective and
efficient for you at this moment.
I think a really important aspect of language learning is taking the time to reflect on
what you've been doing and checking in on kind of all of the resources and methods you're
using and assessing what's working well for you and what isn't.
Even if you've been using one approach for a really long time or a certain textbook works
really really well for a lot of people and it gets great reviews, that doesn't mean that
it is the best approach or best resource for you and something I've definitely learned
learning multiple languages is that sometimes the resources and approaches that work best
for me in some of the languages aren't even the things that work best for me in other
languages and sticking with something just because you feel like you have to, even though
it is really not working for you at all, is going to be extremely frustrating so finding
resources and methods that you really enjoy using and that you feel like are effective
for you are really going to help to reduce that feeling of frustration, even if it is
a really difficult language for you.
That said, it can be really easy to get so caught up in trying to find the perfect method
or the perfect resource that you don't actually get to study your target language at all so
don't dwell on trying to find the perfect resource or that feeling of desperately needing
to progress faster and needing to find the resource that will do that.
Just focus on where you're at right now, what needs to change in order to get you where
you want to be, and what you can do in the meantime to work on that.
From there I think it's really just about trusting the process and knowing that you
can always go back and change your methods and your resources again down the line if
they're still not working for you and just keep in mind that I don't think there's a
resource out there that you can get absolutely nothing out of.
Even if you feel like you've been using a textbook for a really long time and now you've
realized that it's not the best resource for you and you're really frustrated that you
haven't seen progress and that you've been sticking with that, chances are you at least
improved your vocabulary or maybe grasped one grammar concept or were able to read a
whole exercise on your own.
They may be small things, but I think it's really important to not be too hard on yourself
for time that is supposedly “wasted”, because I don't think any of it is.
You can only continue to find things that work better for you in the future and celebrate
the things that you did accomplish in that time.
Speaking of mindset, when it comes to feeling frustrated because you feel like you're not
meeting expectations my biggest piece of advice is to set realistic expectations for yourself.
I recently made a video on sticking to your goals and I talked a little bit about how
it is so important to set realistic goals because setting unrealistic goals just makes
it so much harder to accomplish them.
Not just because it's harder to accomplish them but because it will affect your motivation
and make it harder to actually work on those goals and in exactly the same way setting
unrealistic goals or unrealistic expectations for yourself is going to lead to a lot of
frustration from feeling like you're never actually achieving what you set out to do.
Like I said in that video, setting realistic goals and expectations for yourself does not
have to mean setting really easy goals or having really low expectations for yourself.
It's really just about taking a look at your current lifestyle and commitments and responsibilities
and recognizing what is and isn't realistic to expect of yourself right now.
When it comes to friends/family/co-workers/whoever else might have an opinion or expectations
for your language learning, the biggest thing to remember is that you are the person learning
the language and they are not.
Your expectations are he only expectations you have to meet and also everyone else's
expectations of you are going to be unrealistic, even if they are things that you could realistically
achieve and that's going to sound weird but you are the only person who knows how much
time you can really commit to a language, your schedule, your commitments, your current
level of comfortability using it, what you find your strengths are in language learning,
what you find really difficult, what you want out of language learning because it's not
always the same as what other people would want out of a language they learn, your current
mental health, your current physical health, literally everything else in your life.
And so while it can be really easy, I know at least for myself, to feel really impacted
by what other people expect of me when it comes to my language learning.
The biggest thing for me to remember, and that I would say for all of you to remember,
is just that they don't know everything about where you're currently feeling you are with
your language as well as all of the things that impact your learning itself.
While your cousin's friend may have reached a B2 speaking level in the same language you're
studying in a year, that doesn't mean that that is realistic for you or is something
that you even want.
You are the only one on your language learning journey and you're the only one whose expectations
actually matter in your language learning journey.
You can feel frustrated that your family and friends and random people online or whoever
it is are saying those things to you, but just remember that they are not expectations
that you actually have to feel frustrated for not meeting.
Obviously, if you're taking a language in school it's a little bit harder to just be
like, “Hey you know what?
Your expectation of me to learn the subjunctive this week is just– it's not happening.
It's unrealistic.
I will not be doing that.
Thank you.”
You can do that, but if you're also trying to get a good grade in the class that may
not be your best approach.
But I think this is, again, a time where you can take a step back and think about what
is and isn't working best for you and the ways that you can better meet those expectations
while also meeting your own.
It's important not to lose sight of why you want to learn the language and the things
that you care about in language learning.
And overall, whether the expectations are coming from your teachers, your family, your
friends, random people, or yourself, the biggest thing is to be kind to yourself.
Sometimes, even if you set extremely realistic expectations for yourself, you don't meet
them because you didn't make the progress you wanted to or you ended up progressing
in different ways than you thought.
But dwelling on it does not help you make any more progress in fact it actually does
the opposite.
In my case it usually tends to make me very flighty and pushes me away from wanting to
do anything in my target language or it just makes me feel significantly more anxious and
stressed about the idea of making progress when I am using my target language.
So, again, instead of dwelling on your shortcomings or feeling mad at yourself for not making
whatever progress or meeting whatever expectations, celebrate the progress you have made, the
goals you have achieved or you've gotten close to achieving or even made any sort of progress
on, know your own realistic expectations for yourself and reflect on the ways that you
can meet those expectations.
It's going to keep you motivated and excited to learn your target language instead of creating
frustration and resistance and anxiety when it comes to studying your target language.
If you're feeling frustrated because you can't express yourself the way you want to, you're
having trouble understanding something you're reading or listening to, or you're struggling