- This is so bad.
- [Ken] This looks like you're playing it on a Game Sphere.
- Spherical!
- [Austin] Quick, scan the card!
No, we missed it!
- [Matt] How are you supposed to scan that that quickly?
- Today we are going on a hunt to find the worst
game consoles of all time.
This looks wiggly to me.
- Is this not dog food?
- Well it's chewy.
So you may be familiar with a little game console called-
- [Ken] Well, that's a controller.
That's a controller.
- All right.
Well you might have guessed, my friends,
that this is a Phillips CD-i.
This video was all about trying to find the things
that we've never really taken a look at,
and I will tell you, while I've talked about a CD-i
many times in videos in the past,
I've never actually owned one or really used one
in any meaningful way.
So this, my friends is a early 90's
game console/CD player/computer.
- It is a computer system.
Oh, long.
- This is a, look.
- Long stick can't hurt you.
- [Austin] This is just a screw.
The only thing that this screw does is it kind of gives you
a little bit more leverage, so you can kinda rotate
a little bit more.
Well, we've got the CD-i controller.
Who needs a game controller?
You've got yourself a CD-i controller with action buttons.
So the Phillips CD-i was, how should I describe this?
A failure.
Everyone knows the CD-i from, "Hello Princess."
- [Matt] "Well, excuse me, princess."
Except that wasn't actually the game.
That was the cartoon that the game is based off
for Legend of Zelda.
- [Austin] The CD-i was incredibly expensive
for back in the day.
This was over $1000 in 1992,
which is over $2,000 in today's money!
Okay.
- Philips.
- [Austin] Compact Disc Interactive, let's go!
The thing that really made this unique wasn't so much
the fact that you used CDs.
It was the fact that you used CDs five, six years before
they became anywhere near common,
not only on computers and whatnot,
but on consoles or anything.
This was as if we're using,
there's no good analogy 'cause we don't use
physical medium anymore.
- [Matt] I don't know.
- Can play play games on it.
Let's play.
(console whirring)
Did you do that?
- [Matt] No.
It's seeing something, but like...
- [Austin] It seems less than ideal.
It don't work.
This video is really, really going smoothly.
- I wonder why this wasn't a commercial success.
(Ken laughs)
- [Austin] So instead of giving up,
I decided to head over to my buddy Armando's shop,
"Pixel Vault games."
Now, unfortunately, he wasn't actually able to fix the CDI.
- So it looks like the laser's completely dead on it.
Sorry.
- [Austin] But what he did have was a bunch of
really cool consoles, including this, the Vectrex,
which was the very first vector-based console.
Yo, the Vectrex.
- [Matt] How are you already dead?
You know you can move, right?
- [Armando] You use all the buttons, yeah, to teleport
and shoot. - [Austin] Oh!
Three and four.
Okay, I got it, I got it, I got it.
He also had an Atari XE.
I'll put Dig Dug in and see what happens.
Fall, what, those guys can climb?
The stunt master.
- I believe this one was for the Sega Genesis.
- Is this the world's first VR headset?
And the pièce de résistance, a brand new NES from 1985.
That's so crispy.
- [Matt] He's just a little guy.
- He's just a little guy.
Fragile, all right.
We've got ourselves a note.
"Austin, thank you, Bob.
Don't forget, the Jaguar console will only power on
with a game inserted.
Any questions or issues, please message me.
Enjoy."
What a nice eBay seller.
The Atari Jaguar is a unique console because it was bad.
Now, when you think about a controller,
you think about something which is ergonomic.
You think about the DualSense.
- [Ken] That looks like it's gonna take
my credit card info.
(laughs)
- [Matt] We got the Team Tap.
The, okay, they could have, hm.
- Team Tap. - I'm not team tapping
with you.
I have talked about the Jaguar on many occasion
in the last decade plus of this channel.
This is the first time I'm touching Jaguar hardware,
and what the **** is this?
Can you see?
- You don't want your games rounded?
- This, my friends, is the 64-bit interactive multimedia
system known as the Atari Jaguar.
So the thing was, the Jaguar came out in the early 90's.
Now, this was well past Atari's heyday, right?
Atari peaked, 1982?
I think it was a really good year for them.
- Jaguar, Jaguar, Jaguar!
- But after that, things started to go
precipitously downhill.
The Jaguar was their last great hope at fixing
their home console problems.
Wait.
Is that a PCI slot?
Okay, so we've got ourselves a PCI slot on top.
You also have these chunky connectors on the back.
It says "DSP, in and out" And a bunch of dots and squiggles.
- [Ken] That was definitely cool in 1992.
- Sorry, Braille, whatever the cool kids call it.
- Did you just call Brail dots and squiggles?
- [Austin] The Atari Jaguar was a major failure.
Not only did it sell less than the CDI,
but they charged $250 for it, which is over $500
in today's money.
Who wants to Team Tap?
- Yeah, let's, I'd tap that.
- [Ken] Team Tap.
- I'm gonna throw a controller at your face.
Is everybody ready to experience 64-bit in the year 1994?
Jaguar. - That's very bassy, wow.
- I will say, this image quality actually
is surprisingly clean.
For RCA, that actually looks really good.
- I love the font that is so over stylized
that you can't read it.
- [Austin] Wait, who's shooting me?
- [Ken] Probably that helicopter.
- [Matt] Up there, yeah, kill them, Austin.
- [Ken] I feel like maybe you should look faster.
There's radar.
- [Matt] You should also look down now.
Oh, it's not working?
- My D-pad don't work.
I think this controller's actually kind of bad.
So, surprising no one, the Atari Jaguar not a success.
Why is Dreamcast in this video?
Dreamcast was good.
What are you trying to say about Dreamcast?
The Dreamcast was not a failure.
The Dreamcast was ahead of its time.
Let me just walk you through a few of the reasons why
the Dreamcast was revolutionary,
incredible and life-changing.
Take a look around back my friends.
Not only do we have a serial port, our ACN, our AVL,
but we also have a modem.
Yeah, you heard me right, 56K!
Who needs your modem?
You could hook up broadband ethernet.
This console came out, mind you, 9/9/99.
So not only was this a high quality, easy to use controller,
made for quasi-human hands,
but you also had the visual memory unit.
Take that, pocket station.
The Dreamcast did it later and almost as good.
The Dreamcast is actually nice hardware.
The problem though is that Sony sold a PlayStation two
to every man, woman, and child on the face of the earth
and drowned Sega in DVDs, CDs and PlayStation memory cards.
(ethereal music)
Look, this was a launch title or very early for Dreamcast.
- [Ken] It's also running a great frame rate.
- It's very smooth.
I'm running outta time very quickly here.
- [Matt] Oh, you got this.
- [Austin] Oh, hey, there you go.
Crazy taxi!
We unfortunately included this in the wrong video.
Dreamcast clearly not a failure.
It was so successful, Sega went out on a high.
They decided that they wanted to go out as winners.
Hey, Matt. - Yeah?
- You know what people didn't buy?
- [Matt] What did they not buy?
- Hyper Scan.
- Is this sealed?
- Not only is it sealed, we've got everything
it ever came with still sealed in the box.
- [Ken] Wait, we probably shouldn't open that then.
- We should not open this!
- This, my friends, is the Hyper Scan video game system.
It says, "Video game system."
- [Ken] Yeah. - [Austin] This is not just
some little toy that you play with.
Oh no.
This is a serious, legitimate, real game console.
- Open one of these first.
Let's see how you're feeling.
- [Ken] Can I open up one of the controllers?
- One of the controllers? - Okay.
- [Austin] What is that?! (laughing)
So the triggers are just buttons.
Also, how about R B G Y?
- Oh, these buttons feel, oof.
Oof.
- Let's see what kind of cards it comes with.
So remember, this is a booster pack.
- Jesus.
Oh God.
- [Austin] Ken, can you just stop?
- [Ken] PSA one.
- Since Matt is so sensitive about keeping it sealed,
the controller's still in here, sealed.
We'll leave the controller, we'll just pull the console out.
How about that?
Keeping in mind, this is 2006.
This is around the time of the Xbox 360, the Wii, the PS3.
Video game systems aren't exactly hard to come by,
but the power of this left a lot to be desired.
- Okay, well they kind of made this so that you kind of
have to pressure point it.
- Guys, you're acting like this is actually good.
- Oh, look at this. - So the hardware of this
is simple.
There's a USB A port, the DC power, and the built in RCA.
- [Ken] This looks like a Burger King toy from the 90's.
- [Austin] It does.
- You can actually see the little reader over here.
- Hyper Scan, that's a console.
Can I just say that this might be the slowest loading screen
I've ever experienced in my life.
- It's literally-
- [Austin] We've been here for like four minutes
and it's not even loaded into the main menu yet.
Scan a card.
- We're gonna scan a card here.
- [Austin] No, no, no, down.
There you go, you got it, you got it.
- [Matt] Yeah!
- [Austin] Okay, is that Wolverine?
- [Ken] That's Wolverine.
- [Camera Person] How could you tell?
- He loaded halfway in, I couldn't see!
Scan me a danger room, my friend.
- Okay, so it's telling me, no, it doesn't want this,
but this is-
- [Ken] Oh wait, now it's doing something.
- Okay, there we go. - Okay.
- All right, we're entering the danger room
after scanning 11 cards and waiting 35 minutes
for this thing to load.
What am I doing right now?
- [Matt] You're throwing stuff.
- [Austin] How? - [Matt] Right there!
- Oh wait, I just realized, this is not supposed to be
violent, right?
- [Matt] ] What just happened?
- I just threw eight things and that was the game.
Wow.
- "Rescan your card."
Oh, you have to rescan it.
Because it has to save it now, right?
- Oh.
- All right, so this is not good.
Look how blurry it is.
Quick, scan the card!
No, we missed it!
- How are you supposed to scan that that quickly?
- I'm feeling kind of down right now.
I'm feeling kind of blue.
- How could you be feel blue?
- We just played some of the worst consoles of all time.
I think we need to bring it up a notch.
We need to play something truly magnificent.
- [Matt] Hit me up with the best one.
(box thuds)
- Okay, so it helps if one of us catches it.
So, Sony decided to cash, I mean, present some value
to the gamers for $100 for this, the PlayStation Classic.
Now on the surface, this looks like a great idea.
It's the PlayStation, but little.
- We can open this one.
If you wanna Lamar this one, that's fine.
- Here's the thing, this was $100 when it was brand new
a couple years ago.
It went down on sale pretty quickly.
Anywhere between 30 and 50 bucks for a while.
- [Ken] I got mine for 30.
- You can still buy these brand new on Amazon.
The PlayStation was not exactly a difficult console
to emulate, but they didn't do a great job of it.
And also, the game selection, while it was okay,
it still missed a lot of the games
that I would've loved to see.
How do you not have Gran Turismo?
This is a little guy, okay.
I think people were unfairly harsh on this.
This is just, it's cool, it's got a little power button.
You got reset, you got open.
You got your little USB ports.
I mean, yeah, the games might not run particularly well.
I would put this on my desk.
It's so cute.
Here's the question, can I actually just use
these controllers as just PC controllers?
- [Matt] Yes, yes, you absolutely can.
People bought this thing for everything except
the intended use for it.
- I'm not gonna lie, this feels like
a PlayStation controller.
- [Matt] It is a PlayStation controller.
- [Ken] I'm not gonna lie, it's the thing that
it's supposed to be. (laughs)
- All right, friends, everybody ready?
- Yeah.
- Activate PlayStation.
Make the sound, do the thing.
- [Ken] At least be worth that much.
What?
- It cut it off.
- Yeah, it doesn't do the end, yeah.
- It didn't even do the whole thing!
And there we go, that's it.
Okay, so we've got Twisted Metal, we've got Rainbow Six.
A lame game that no one likes.
- You just canceled yourself.
- [Austin] The PlayStation Classic I think is a weird one
because it sold okay but mostly because Sony made like
a hundred gajillion of these things and they eventually
went on fire sale, so I think this is almost what kind of
ruined the party for mini consoles
because this is really the last major one.
There was one more Genesis that came out fairly recently,
but honestly I think at this point everyone realized,
"Yeah, people are kind of sick of it."
- [Ken] Ridge Racer!
- Of course he goes for the racing game.
- Hey, if you've seen me make a video
on the PlayStation Classic before,
can you please let me know in the comments?
'Cause I swear I've done this before.
You're doing 130, 140?
I'm still going 106.
Look at him go, look at him go.
He's just gone, he's just gone.
Okay, PlayStation Classic may not have been a failure,
but I certainly am.
Thank you very much for watching.
Subscribe, check out the "This is"
Where we've looked at even more weird consoles,
and I'm gonna go wish that my CDI worked better.
(relaxing music)