Hello Internet - and welcome back to the most inquisitive channel on YouTube - Life’s
Biggest Questions, the place where we definitely won’t be feeding any mogwai after midnight,
and we’re incredibly diligent with our use of H2O - so you’ve no need to worry, really.
What’s going on guys - as always, I’ll be your disembodied floating voice Jack Finch
- as we padlock the cupboards, chain up the refrigerator, drain the pool and Gremlin proof
the house - as we wonder that surely, a dog would be a much better alternative - and curiously
ask the question, What If Gremlins Were Real?
There’s three pretty simple rules.
Number 1 - no bright light.
Number 2 - don’t get them wet.
And Number 3 - never feed them after midnight, no matter how much they beg.
Pretty easy to follow right?
Well, of course - we wouldn’t be asking this question if it was so straightforward.
The Mogwai are a cute, fluffy space-faring species - genetically engineered and sent
by a galactic authority to spread their peaceful spirit across the cosmos.
Although, you won’t know that unless you’re a Gremlin nerd deep into their canonised novelisation.
Of course - though, like with most things - not all is as it seems, and they harbor
a deep, dark, disturbing underbelly.
Before we jump into that though, you know the drill by now guys - if you’re a fan
of this video, Gizmo, Stripe or just Life’s Biggest Questions in general - then feel free
to give this video a thumbs up, and hit that subscribe bell so you can stay up to date
with our latest and greatest uploads.
Also, why don’t you go ahead and share this video with a friend, because the lifestyles
of the Mogwai are an admirable aspiration for the most part.
Gremlins, a film released way back when in 1984 - catapulted the creatures of the mogwai
into our collective consciousness as our cute, furry friends that harbor a pretty debilitating
downside - they’re also part reptilian mischief makers that want to fluff everything up for
humanity.
In the first and subsequent sequel film, we understand that Gizmo, a mogwai given to the
young Billy Peltzer after his father went shopping in a Chinatown antique store searching
for a christmas present.
A controversial choice at best.
In Cantonese, Mogwai means monster, evil spirit, devil or demon - a creature of folklore that
often inflict harm on humans.
They are said to reproduce sexually during mating seasons triggered by the coming of
rain - a device similarly adapted in Joe Dante’s 1984 comedy horror flick - yet far from the
silver screen version.
Or.
Well.
Yeah.
Nevermind.
We’ll keep it PG-13.
If you know you know.
But - what would happen if we were host to these little guys, right now in 2018 - and
a craze of cute, fluffy little mogwai took us all unaware - just like our good pal Billy
Peltzer.
It’s hard to tell whether the unrivaled overlord of the internet - the house cat,
could ever be dethroned from the lofty heights of meme supremacy, but if anyone could give
them a run for their money - it’s the mogwai.
The world would be awash with Gizmo-esque selfies, Instagram live feeds of their cute
fluffy pal playing Despacito on the family piano, entire YouTube Channels dedicated to
people exploring abandoned graveyards and mental asylums while capturing the petrified
reaction of their mogwai.
In the film, Gizmo’s nature is to spread peace by being as cute, kind, lovable, innocent
and adorable as can be.
He’s also incredibly adept with electronics, so if you kept a mogwai around the house you’d
be in for some pretty convenient living.
But as Albert Einstein famously allegedly said, two things are infinite - the Universe
and Human Stupidity, and the mogwai come with three very clear rules that would swiftly
- inevitably be broken.
Number 1 - no direct contact to sunlight.
Which is a given really, because most responsible mogwai owners wouldn’t ever want to expose
their fluffy little friends to so much pain - but in the event of a gremlin outbreak,
which we’ll get to later, this would be the failsafe method to containment.
Apartment buildings would be fitted with emergency solar simulators that would bathe every corner
in sunlight before the Gremlin exterminators could arrive.
Which also poses the question - would we even want to take such a risk?
For the sake of argument though, let’s keep it rolling with Number 2 - don’t get them
wet.
Because contact with water causes a unique chemical reaction in a mogwai, an instantaneous
parthenogenesis - producing offspring of furry, fluffy balls emitted at high-velocity from
the creatures upper back.
This is the real problem - because even if the world managed to waylay the third rule
- do not feed them after midnight - human stupidity just couldn’t help itself with
the knowledge that getting a mogwai wet results in, what is essentially an infinite sprinkler
of fur.
Don’t get me wrong - there’d be more than a fair share of responsible mogwai owners,
the vast majority in fact - but there’d be numerous cases for mogwai exploitation,
and breeding farms.
Such an available commodity would cheapen the average mogwai to such a low price - that
the disposability of these poor creatures would become ingrained in our society.
Lost your mogwai?
Accidently dropped him into the furnace?
Hey, it’s no problem - just pick another one up at the gas station.
There’s plenty going round.
Which leads us to Number 3 - don’t feed them after midnight.
Which let’s face it, would be a task too hard to contain.
We’d have to rethink our entire dietary practice.
With such a wide oversaturation of mogwai, the gastronomy industry couldn’t ever keep
up with such a broad demand.
There’d simply be too many mogwai - and too many variables to contain the very likely
possibility that one of them eats food after midnight.
And who knows, maybe the Gremlins would take a look at what their existence had turned
into and release that plain mischief just doesn’t cut it any more - maybe they’d
look at what their progenitor species had become - a throwaway stuffed toy, a human’s
plaything - and find a reason to fight back.
Then we’d have a much, much bigger problem than before.
Well, unfortunately folks - that’s all we’ve got time for in today's video, cheers for
sticking around all the way to the end.
If you were a fan of this video, and you’d like to secure yourself your own mogwai - then
go ahead and hit that thumbs up button, as well as that subscribe bell, and maybe your
wish will come true.
Either way, everyone’s a winner.
To continue on with your questioning binge, feel free to hit the playlist floating shortly
above.
As always, I’ve been your host Jack Finch - you’ve been watching Life’s Biggest
Questions - and until next time, take it easy.