I'm in a toxic relationship and I really want to fix it
My name is Coach Natalie and I'm a relationship coach ,and I've dedicated my
entire life to helping people like you stay committed and happy in their
relationships. And so many people can identify with the really challenging
concept or situation of, "I'm in a toxic relationship but I really want to fix it."
So if you are one of these people welcome to HAPPILY COMMITTED. This
channel is built for you, it is built to help you know what to do, and where to go
for for any relationship problem you might be facing so that you can stay
together, so that you can make this work, so that you can stay happily committed.
When it comes to fixing a toxic relationship it's all about regaining
self control and elevating your self-esteem and your self-love. Usually
in a toxic relationship we find ourselves having to abandon parts of who
we are for the sake of the relationship. Abandoning parts of who we are can look
like not hanging out with friends, not doing things that we usually enjoy, not
saying or sharing beliefs that might jeopardize our partners interest in us.
Toxicity forces us to abandon parts of ourselves for the sake of keeping it
alive, but think about that phrase -
Abandoning yourself for the sake of keeping it alive - which means that you're
gonna have to abandon one thing to keep it alive and then abandon another thing
to keep it alive. Like food, you're feeding it all of things that you once
really really valued just to keep it alive. And then the toxicity grows and it
grows and it grows. So the only way to regain control over this toxic
relationship is to stop feeding it your values, stop abandoning parts of who you
are, stop abandoning things that you truly
love and enjoy and respect so that it can continue living and growing. Step one
is going to be to regain your self esteem, to regain your sense of self, to
invest in your personal development. The more connected you are to yourself
the easier it will be to stand strong in this toxic relationship. And toxic
relationships - and if you are in a one you can empathize with the fact that -
they'll push you, they push every single limit in hopes of breaking through them.
If you regain your self esteem you regain your self control you regain
your sense of self, I then want you to really look at your
relationship. Look at this toxic relationship that you're in. Can it
survive without you feeding it parts of who you are? Can it survive with you
being confident? Can it survive unless you are broken? If the answer is, "No, it
only works when I'm sad, it only works when I am broken, it only works when I
don't hang out with those friends, or go to those places, and when I don't do
things that pisses off my partner," then I think the real question that this video
should address is, "Do you want to stay in this ?" If you have to become a lesser
version of yourself for the sake of making this relationship happy, making
your partner happy, then is this partner worth what you lose? Is what you gain
worth what you lose? I recently posted on my Instagram, @thecoachnatalie, the quote,
which is off the top my head something like, "The only thing more painful than
leaving a bad relationship is staying in one." If you're in a bad relationship and
you make yourself better and it's still bad then is it the relationship for you?
I cannot answer this question. Only you can answer this question. So instead of
making a really rash decision now just spend time marinating on this. Spend time
asking yourself, "Ok well if in order to eliminate the toxicity in my
relationship, I have to regain my self esteem and regain my sense sense of self,
which then makes the relationship suffer," then
is the equation adding up? If the answer is, "No," my recommendation - as painful as it
is to say, and maybe as painful as it is to hear - is that you've got to go. Leave a
situation that is bad for you because if you put up with it it will stay. If you
don't set limits for yourself, if you don't have boundaries in place to
protect yourself, are you doing yourself a service or a disservice? Are you loving
yourself or harming yourself by being in this relationship? I know. This video got
very deep very quickly and very tough and dense very quickly. But if you're in
a toxic relationship, you know the toxicity grows as quickly.
A toxic relationship grows so fast that we tend to lose control. So after this video
spend some time asking yourself, "How am I going to regain this control and am I
able to regain this control while in this relationship?" I'd love to hear about
your personal struggles in this. I personally relate. I've been in a toxic
relationship. It's something that really drove me and motivated me to develop
this business, to develop my career path to develop who I am, and the things I've
dedicated my life toward. And I'm here to help. I'm here to help you. I'd love to
hear about what it is that's going on. I invite you to please leave a comment
under this video. Share with us what you're going through. Share with us what
you feel might be toxic. Share with us whether or not you've tried to elevate
your self-esteem, whether or not it's worked, whether or not it hasn't. The more
we know about you, the more we can help, and the more we can guide you on your
journey to being happily committed in a relationship, to being happily committed
to yourself. My name is Coach Natalie. I'm a relationship coach and I look so
forward to connecting with you in the comments section below.
If you're looking for additional stuff we have blogs, we have products, we've got
all the goods on happilycommitted.com to help you overcome this. And between
that website and this YouTube channel we hope to have you covered.
So thank you for tuning in and I look forward to hearing from you