- Hi, I'm Mari Takahashi.
- I am Olivia Sui.
- BOTH: We are not the same person.
- We're tired of people confusing us.
- But instead of getting mad, we're here to help.
- By giving you guys the simple dos and don'ts for...
- BOTH: How to not piss off Asian people.
- First, let's talk about greetings.
- You might not know how to pronounce our names.
- So, do just ask.
- It's weird for everyone when you try
and say our names and then butcher them.
- So, is it Olivia Soo-wai, [buzzer]
or Soo-wee, [buzzer]
or, uh, Soo-eye? [buzzer]
- Sui. [ding]
- Oh.
- Okay, so, Mari Te-catch-a-he.
- Close. Ta-ka-ha-shi. It's phonetic.
- Well, you said it was Japanese.
- Zjhoon.
Zhjay-woonah?
Juh-zjuhn-joon.
- No, it's John.
- What? We have the same name!
Am I Asian?
Aw, I knew I was Asian! Dude!
Wha-ah!
Dude, Jared! I'm Asian, man!
- Don't fetishize Asian women. Don't call it "Yellow Fever."
- Yeah, why does it have to be a disease?
There is nothing sexy about diseases.
- What about... [sexily]: Malaria.
- Hmm, I guess diseases are sexy.
[sexily]: Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.
Emphysema.
Gonorrhea.
- Nope.
- Don't pander to us.
- And don't try to one-up our Asian-ness.
- Oh, that's right. You're Japanese.
- Yeah!
- Oh my God, I went to Japan once.
- Oh, no way!
- Yes.
- My uncle, he actually--
- And I love anime, like, so much.
Like, oh my God, like, こんにちは! (konnichiwa)
[giggles]
Like, the best, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Anyways, さようなら. (sayonara)
- Do know that there are a lot more countries in Asia
other than, China, Japan, Korea.
- For example, India, right, Monica?
- Huh?
[plop]
- On that note, don't assume that
we're all from the same country either.
- Not all Asians are the same.
- You'd actually probably really like my friend.
- Oh? - Yeah, she's Korean.
I mean, you might even know her already.
- I don't know every Asian person.
- Her name's Sarah Kim. - Oh. I do know her.
- And?
- I like her.
- Oh.
- If you're making a movie about Asian people,
don't cast a white person to play an Asian.
- Cast me.
- Or me!
- Or me! [crash]
- OLIVIA: Please leave.
- Uh-uh. - Why?
But I, you know, I can こんにちは, I can do it.
[mumbling]
All right. Cool. Bye!
- Bye, forever.
- Don't assume we're all good at math.
- Yeah, that's stereotyping.
- 18% of half of $51 is-- - $4.59.
[ding] Damn it!
- Don't assume we all know karate.
- Yeah, that's stereotyping. [grunts]
Ow, ow, ow.
- What was that?
- I thought the karate's inside me.
- What? No!
You have math. We get one!
- What do you have?
- A sh*t ton of cute backpacks!
[kawaii music] [girl speaking Japanese]
- That's a lot of dopes.
- Yeah, do you think it sounds too negative?
- Maybe, and we're generalizing a lot,
which is the exact thing we don't want people to do.
- Right, so I guess if you want to
not piss off Asian people, don't be an asshole.
- Or like, overall, don't be an asshole.
- BOTH: Don't be an asshole.
[kawaii music] - GIRL: Hey!
- COURTNEY: Wow, I love this video. And Asians!
Hey, if you want to watch "One Letter Off Kids Shows,"
tap that box on the left.
Or if you want to see more of Mari,
tap that box on the right for "Smosh Pit Weekly."
It's back every Saturday, baby!