Religion is a funny one, isn’t it?
Fanaticism?
Zealotry?
Well - don’t even get me started on that one.
How about bloodthirsty, murderous cosmic horror cults?
Whether grounded within fiction or sprinkled with a touch of reality, we understood through
the works of Howard Phillips Lovecraft, Clark Ashton Smith and Robert W. Chambers - that
great, all powerful, hulking cosmic behemoths of bulbous eyes and writhing tentacles generally
have quite the fanatic fan club - cultists who would devote their short, fleeting lives
to the likes of Yog-Sothoth, Azathoth, Hastur, Nyarlathotep - and of course, the Great Dreamer
himself, Cthulhu.
But, like with many things - the SCP Foundation does things a little different.
Adolescence is a period of our lives that we all go through, and the Great Old One Cthulhu
is no exception.
Let me introduce you to SCP-2662 - AKA the young upstart Cthulhu - and it’s a bit of
an awkward one, because in all reality - he just wants to be left alone.
Well, let’s find out what he’s up to.
Hello internet - and welcome back to the most inquisitive channel on YouTube - Life’s
Biggest Questions.
As per usual, I’ll be your disembodied floating voice - Jack Finch - as today, we dive back
into the archives of the SCP Foundation - and curiously ask the question, What If SCP-2662
Was Real?
Roll the clip.
While SCP-2662 may fall into the remit of comedy, it also poses a pretty interesting
concept by germinating the issue of consent when applied to fanatic cultism.
Much like with Beatlemania throughout the 1960s - where John Lennon tongue in cheek
claimed that The Beatles were bigger than Jesus - and the world bore witness to intense
levels of hysteria and a mass, high pitched onslaught of screaming - when a idol is coveted
to absolution, the recipient is well within their rights to kind of get sick and tired
with the whole debacle.
I mean, I can only speak on my own behalf - but I’d imagine that intense levels of
worship could get pretty tiresome after a while.
Well, let’s zone in on one writhing tentacle of a young man - and imagine that somewhere,
tucked away in the confines of the SCP Foundation, is one of the most coercive and maddeningly,
mentally attractive anomalous entities of all time.
SCP-2662 AKA Young Cthulhu - and he just wants everyone to leave him alone.
As the record states, SCP-2662 is a Keter class cognito hazardous entity approximately
4 meters in height and 200 kilograms in weight.
SCP-2662 appears to be in a vaguely humanoid shape, with approximately 20 additional muscular
hydrostats in similar structure to cephalopod limbs attached to its back.
These limbs are fully functional and allow 2662 to perform up to 10 different tasks at
once - which in actual fact, is a question that I’ve always wanted to have answered,
because in all reality, Cthulhu would be one hell of a sous-chef.
The main function of keeping SCP-2662 contained is the prevention of unauthorized entry into
its containment unit.
See, unlike most anomalous entities in the Foundation - SCP-2662 actually voluntarily
gave himself up for containment because he was sick and tired of spontaneously creating
fanatic cults wherever he went.
For this purpose, on-site Task Force Tau-9 - Codenamed Belligerent Bodyguards have been
organised to guard the containment unit and keep track of new religious followings focusing
on Young Cthulhu's worship.
Task force Tau-9 has been authorised to use lethal force if necessary, and all members
of the Task Force are to be tested bi-annually for cognito hazardous influence.
As in - yeah, SCP-2662 is really effective at inadvertently mentally corrupting individuals
to do it’s bidding.
It’s a theme extensively covered throughout gothic horror.
The idea of the human mind being irrevocably corrupted after staring too long into the
abyss.
Like lemmings off of a cliff, or swarms of mosquitoes to a bright, buzzing, shining lantern
- in many cases, it’s human nature to offer oneself to a more powerful, more mentally
expansive figure.
If SCP-2662 was real, right now in 2019, tucked away in a remote, isolated site in North America
- you can get your bottom dollar, and every other dollar beneath that - that there would
be bus loads of purple-robed fanatics making their way down highways and byways toward
their all-powerful saviour Young Cthulhu, singing songs and chanting guttural hymns
about how cosmically fantastic their fanaticism for him is.
You see, what we’re forgetting in this equation is the internet.
All it would take is a stray post on some backwater forum, claiming that somewhere in
the United States was a beautiful, bulbous Old God that needed worshippers - and the
floodgates would open.
Just look at Flat Earthers - and they’ve even got their own convention now, for what
was essentially a troll-post on a conspiracy theorists message board.
And while our transient cultists lives would be short lived - because Task Force Tau-9
would be pretty busy with the migration patterns of these hordes of fanatics - it would only
serve to further perpetuate the reluctant influence of SCP-2662.
They would become martyrs for the Great Old One - though, he wouldn’t be very happy
about it.
According to an estimate by Margaret Singer, who was a psychology professor of UC Berkeley,
between 1964 and 1991 there are up to 5’000 active cults in the United States at any one
time - and while this may be quite a controversial figure, as the parameters of what a cult is
defined as is tentative at best - the fact remains the same.
With such a wide and expansive Western demographic - people are clutching at the ceremonial cloth
with it comes to understanding the cosmic idiosyncrasies of existence - and SCP-2662
would be the cream of the crop.
But - we are forgetting one thing, while SCP-2662 may be a reluctant Old God now - there’s
no knowing what maturity will have in store for him.
Remember when you were a kid, you probably wanted to be an Astronaut or a Bus Driver
- or a Fireman, or something.
Right now, SCP-2662 just wants to sit around and play video games - he’s not in the business
for settling down with a cult, or orchestrating the bidding of a fanatical lineage for all
of eternity.
But, who knows what the future has in store - because as the Beatles once sang - will
you still need me, will you still feed me - when I’m six hundred million, and sixty
four.
Well unfortunately folks, that’s all we’ve got time for in today’s video - cheers for
sticking around all the way until the end.
Before we depart, let’s take a look at some of your more creative comments from over the
past few days.
Caroline Cat Bridges Kitty says - What would happen if the earth started falling forever
and would it ever stop?
-- Well Caroline, I had to break it to you, but that’s exactly what’s happening right
now, at around 67 thousand miles an hour.
Thankfully though, we’ve got our best friend gravity keeping the whole thing together - so
we’re all good.
John Rodnie Basio says -- What if I’m writing this comment and then a stone hit my head?
-- Well John Rodnie Basio, my good buddy - I sincerely hope that a stone didn’t hit your
head, but if by some strange, cosmic coincidence it did - then I’d recommend checking your
surroundings before typing an LBQ comment - it’s risky business.
On that note, if you were a fan of this video - or just Life’s Biggest Questions in general
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As per usual, I’ve been your disembodied floating voice Jack Finch - you’ve been
watching Life’s Biggest Questions - and until next time, you take it easy.