- What's the fastest food in the world?
- Let's talk about that.
(upbeat music)
Good mythical morning.
- Today we're racing foods to finally find out
which is truly the fastest.
- Yeah we are, and today's episode is sponsored by
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- [Rhett] Let's taste it.
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- All right, now when we were kids,
our Memaws used to tell us "don't you play with your food,"
but Memaw didn't say anything about racing your food.
Yes, the rumors are true.
A mythical speed slope has been created
and today is the day we get supersonic
with some real fast food.
It's time for forget horsepower and gas guzzling atrocities.
Let's see what foods can reach maximum velocities.
- Welcome to the so food so furious zone.
- And this is the mythical speed slope.
Whew, this is quite a contraption we have here,
and we're going to be competing against each other
in a series of races, except instead of racing cars,
we're going to be racing various food items.
- Oh, now I get it.
- That is what we need to do.
- Now as you can see, we have a selection of food
to draft a team of food from,
with the help of a one man pit crew, Chase.
Welcome Chase.
- Thanks, I'm a pit crew.
- [Link] He has a multi-tool in his pocket.
- Now listen, here's the thing.
Scientifically speaking, every food
has a different inherent speed, y'all.
Did you know that?
We gotta be wise when we put together this snack squad,
but Chase, I see there are two different items
right there in front of you.
What's happening there?
- So you can also choose an advantage on your team.
You can put something into the shopping cart and race that.
- Looks fast.
- And a disadvantage, you can slather peanut butter
on your opponent's course.
- Nice.
- Thought you were gonna say face.
- Or just eat it.
Well, there's lots options there.
I'll let you pick first. Go ahead.
- I'm going to choose the Jawbreaker.
- I was hoping you wouldn't see the Jawbreaker
hiding behind the orange, which I will choose the orange.
- I'm going to choose the onion.
- Well, my friend, I am going to choose the cart advantage,
because that's gotta be a winner.
Put a burrito in there, I don't know.
- I'm going to choose the coconut.
- Oh, Chase, is that a walnut in front of that?
- That is a meatball.
- [Rhett] It's a meatball.
- Oh, that is a meatball?
I'm gonna go for grapes.
- All right.
- I assume I'm just gonna roll one grape.
- A grape, yeah.
Well I'm doing the meatball then.
- It is round.
See if that corn stays aligned, shoot.
I'm going for the tater.
- Alright.
- That's heavy, dense.
- I'm gonna choose a single popcorn kernel.
What about the pineapple in that cart?
That's not going to lose.
- [Link] That's crazy.
- The weight of that.
I'd just love to watch that.
I'd love to see it happen.
- All right, I'll go with the pineapple.
- Hey!
And I guess I'll go with the peanut butter.
- That burrito would strow all over the place.
Is that a word that people use
outside of my county where I grew up?
- Strow?
- You strowed a mess everywhere in here.
- With you and your relationship with corn though,
you know how when you eat it
and you don't even know you're eating it?
- Yeah.
- You can't even remember it.
- [Link] So the corn on the cob is separate from the kernel?
- That is true.
- I do think that we'll roll. Corn on the cob.
(laughs)
I think you're becoming a cheater.
- I love how you just take all this advice without question.
- No, I've questioned it, but I agree with it.
- Okay, so we have our teams.
Now points escalate every heat.
Whoever wins overall gets to be the cocky food jockey
in "Good Mythical More," where the loser has to be
the slow and sorry snail.
(upbeat music)
- Okay, before this and each heat, we're each gonna
have to pick the runner that we want to race.
- And we're doing it blindly,
because we're doing it at the same time.
I can't know what you're going to do.
So Stevie, you're gonna give us a countdown.
We're going to select the item in the first heat.
- That's an interesting strategy here.
I mean, you got a lot more round stuff.
I don't know exactly how that happened.
- Well, it's because I told you to get pineapple
and corn and you just did it.
- Well, by that point, there weren't any more round stuff,
but I have this cart.
- [Stevie] All right, you're going to
stab your first racers.
- You don't want to go too big too early,
unless the other guy goes a really big really early.
- Don't overthink it, man.
- [Stevie] Three, two, one, stab.
- Tater versus the corn kernel.
Alright, let's load them up.
You may not be able to see this, but Rhett has picked
apparently his most pristine corn kernel.
- It's a good kernel.
- And I have my tater in its maximum
potential energy position.
- Now we each have a lever here
that we can stomp on to release,
but it releases the whole thing at the same time.
So we'll just alternate. You can go first.
- Alright. And you're ready to lose round one.
- I think that the potato has a better chance
of doing this unless it gets hung up on the side.
- Unless it goes funk.
- Yeah, it's definitely heavier, so, I mean,
I don't know how gravity works.
I think everything goes at the same speed,
but there's friction involved.
- Here we go, three, two, one.
(clunking)
Why don't you give it a shot, Rhett?
I'll go next round.
- Okay. Three, two, one.
(laughing)
- You won, my tater went off the course.
- But also, it wasn't as fast.
- It wasn't as fast.
- [Rhett] It wasn't as fast, man.
- [Link] Can we see a replay?
How close was this?
If it would have stayed on the course,
I think I would have lost anyway.
- Okay, so I get one point.
- Tater out of control, man.
(upbeat music)
Now the strategy of this choice is tough, man.
- Escalated points, man.
Those later rounds, save it.
- I really needed to win with that potato.
- Well, it's just a point.
I mean, you can cancel that out easy.
- [Stevie] Okay, here we go.
Three, two, one, stab.
(Link whines)
- [Rhett] Meatball versus corn?
- Yes.
- [Stevie] And do you guys want to
use any of your advantages or disadvantages?
- Not yet, nope.
- You might want a shopping cart for that corn.
- This is gonna run.
I'm not going to waste my shopping cart.
- Okay.
All right, corn versus meatball.
Anything can happen,
but most likely the meatball's gonna win.
- I know that one end of the cob is bigger than the other,
so it might do another thunk and go over.
- But you've had it universal
sort of cosmic relationship with corn.
So maybe we can, you can will something here.
- All right, I'm going more aggressive this time.
Three, two, one.
Come on, corn!
Hold on, corn, corn's still thinking about it.
Corn's still thinking about it.
Go on, corn, go on, corn, get out of here.
Get out of here, corn,
come on, don't embarrass me like this, finish the race, man.
- Yeah, encourage it.
- You obviously lost, but we don't give up.
(Rhett laughs)
We give up twice.
- Hey man, you know what, points escalate.
(laughs)
- It doesn't want to participate.
- I don't know if that counts, but okay.
All right.
- Okay. All right.
(upbeat music)
You've got three hefty round things.
I'm going back to when I picked stuff
and it didn't seem this dark.
- Yeah, yeah, corn and potato so far.
- All right. - [Stevie] Ready?
- I'm ready.
- [Stevie] Okay. Here we go.
- You know, points escalate.
That's what I'm banking on.
- Yeah, right, yup.
- [Stevie] Three, two, one, stab.
- [Link] Grapes versus gumball.
- [Stevie] Reminder.
- Could be interesting.
- [Stevie] You have your advantages
and disadvantages that you could use.
- I'm saving it.
I mean, I have to save it for the pineapple,
because I've learned from that corn on the cob
that this pineapple is not gonna go.
- I mean, here's all I can say about this is
I think that the Jawbreaker is probably my best item.
I thought you were going to do orange.
And so I was going to kind of counteract that
with what I think is probably the fastest item
in the whole game.
I mean, it's a perfect sphere, man.
- Let's load them up.
- Okay Link, you've selected a very round grape.
- I'm doing the best I can.
But I actually think that this Jawbreaker
is probably the fastest thing according to testing.
- I mean, how could it not be?
I mean, it's, I mean it's so hard.
- It's heavy, it's perfectly round.
- Yeah, I mean, but hey, but it's not a grape.
- All right, stop it.
- Three, two, one. (chute clunks)
- Oh, it's close!
- Oh, hey, that was close, man.
- That was respectable.
- That was close.
- And that's all I'm looking for at this point,
just a little modicum of respect.
- Yeah, that was a fast grape, but not quite fast enough.
- Still a shutout.
(upbeat music)
- [Stevie] Okay gentlemen, so the Jawbreaker was
officially the fastest food item,
but things are about to get a little bit more interesting
because in front of you are flippers, an obstacle,
and a little bit more interesting because Link,
you've got to win this heat
in order to be able to stay in the race.
- I feel like I've got a good shot.
- I feel like you got a good shot too with your items.
You've got the cart, got the orange.
This is not over by a long shot.
- [Stevie] You ready to pick?
- Yeah.
- [Stevie] Three, two, one, stab.
- I got to go for the gusto,
which is my pineapple in my shopping cart.
I'm going to have to figure out a way to make it go in here.
Yeah. That's my choice.
- Okay.
- Get in there!
I mean that, that looks like,
this is going to be like a bat out of hell.
- I mean, that's like a rocket ship.
- [Link] Feeling good about this.
- All right, you're doing nothing but losing juice.
So whenever you're ready, you can release the hounds.
- You're not feeling good, are you?
- No, I think you got me on this round.
- I mean, the cart may go all over the place though.
Three, two, one, go.
(clattering)
Yes! Boom! (Rhett laughs)
Yeah, I obliterated you, man.
- That was fast, that may be faster than the Jawbreaker.
- I'm still in this!
(upbeat music)
Okay, so we know that it's orange versus onion.
It's just a question of
are you going to use that peanut butter?
- Oh yeah, I've got a peanut butter plan, man.
- Okay, the only thing you missed in that cut
was Rhett grunting and talking to himself
while smearing peanut butter on my side of the board.
- Here's my strategy.
I'm hoping that you're going to hit this
and basically pick up as much peanut butter as possible.
And then a little bit more here,
and when you run into the ticker tape,
it's going to stick and it's going to be
this orange is going to have ticker-tape over it.
Now you may be wondering why did I only choose
one spot at the end?
Because just like a keeper, not a goalie.
What side of the ocean are you on?
It's called a keeper.
The keeper has to make a choice in the penalty time.
You just got to make a choice. You got to anticipate.
I'm anticipating your orange is gonna go right there.
- You're making a blind choice
because you're very threatened, right now.
- Oh, I believe I have about a 15% chance of winning,
just given all the circumstances at play.
- I believe I have a 15% chance
of getting this thing open on the first try.
Okay. All right, here we go.
Three, two, one. (clattering)
For the win, no!
- It worked, look at the stripes!
I told you right too, the peanut butter sabotaged you, man.
- That made the difference, didn't it?
Wasn't it that?
- Yeah, it totally was stuck.
- [Link] If it wasn't for this.
- [Rhett] It slowed it down.
- Daggum dollop, I would have won.
- Woo, yes!
- It came down to the dollop.
- The peanut butter got it, but you gotta admit,
it's pretty cool that it's still, look,
I chose exactly perfectly and still hit it.
- Yeah, I admit that's pretty cool, man.
What you did was pretty cool, man.
Do you want that to be a prize,
me admitting that what you did was cool?
- No, I just want you to be this slow and sorry snail
in "Good Mythical More" and I'll be the cocky food jockey.
- Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi, I'm Jeremy Dooley.
- And I'm Kat Dooley.
- And we're streaming with a bunch of friends,
including Davin Tjen.
And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
(laughing)
- I told you Davin had friends.
(laughing)
That's a dad joke.
Click the top link to watch us play
Mario Kart Live Home Circuit in "Good Mythical More."
- And to find out where
the Wheel of Mythicality is gonna land.
- [Rhett] On Earth Day and every day,
let's do our part in making it a more mythical world.
Start by spreading the word with this limited edition
tee available now at Mythical.com.