From faulty chastity belts to S&M that went horribly wrong, we look at 8 horrifying sex
related deaths.
8.
Felix Faure • Trust a French president to die during
sex; Felix Faure was having his Eiffel tower serviced by his much younger mistress.
• Back in 1899, Felix Faure was at the end of his first term as president.
His official cause of death was listed as a stroke, which is true.
But word got out that he’d died while his mistress was going down on him.
• When the servants burst in, Felix’s hands were still stuck in his lover’s hair.
She was apparently suffering from shock-induced lockjaw with the president’s solemn member
still in her mouth.
Poor guy was probably gasping for air and she thought he was about to blow his load.
That rigor mortis can be really misleading though so who can blame her?
7.
Homemade Chastity Belt • Poor Rosa Vela didn’t exactly die during
sex.
No, her death was technically caused by a lack of sex.
• The 22-year-old Peruvian woman died from an infection caused by a rusty lock on her
homemade chastity belt.
Her jealous husband made the medieval device to ensure she stayed true while he was away
on business trips.
• Unfortunately, one trip required him to stay longer than originally anticipated and
the infection turned toxic.
Remember kids; It doesn’t pay to be handy in the home.
Always go to Home Depot for your chastity belt needs.
6.
Marriage of Genitals • So it turns out sexual repression is pretty
widespread throughout the world, regardless of nationality.
• And poor Sachi and Tomio Hadaka were no exception to this.
The Japanese couple were so painfully shy they waited fourteen years into their marriage
before they decided to do the deed.
Japanese couple had simultaneous heart attacks during sex.
On the plus side, their autopsies revealed they’d also experienced simultaneous orgasms
so good for them.
• This is the case of the unluckiest long-term virgins ever.
Maybe if this was a horror movie you’d understand why they got bumped off after bumping uglies,
but come on, this stuff shouldn’t be happening in the real world.
5.
Jimmy The Squished • Jimmy Ferrozzo, also known as Jimmy the
beard, died from an unfortunate workplace accident.
• He was the assistant manager at a topless bar called the Condor and after closing one
night, Jimmy was getting frisky with an exotic dancer.
The lovers were fooling around atop the club’s piano that was wired to the roof.
Dancers were regularly lowered onto the stage on it.
Unfortunately, one of the lovers knocked the lever to raise the piano and Jimmy was crushed
to death between the roof, his lover and the piano.
If his lover had been riding cowgirl she would’ve been the one crushed but alas, it was missionary
that was Jimmy’s downfall.
• His lover was actually pretty lucky that Jimmy’s body prevented her from being crushed
to death too but she was stuck beneath his body until 7am when the janitor came in.
That would’ve been an awkward convo. 4.
Attila the Hunky • There are more theories on Attilla the
Hun’s death than there are fan theories about Game of Thrones but one theory is particularly
harmful to his bad boy image.
• Attila was one of the most feared dudes in the world when he ruled the Huns.
This brutal ruler plundered his way across modern day Europe and Asia but apparently
the ruthless Attila also had a kinky side.
Rumours around the campfire said that he was really into S&M and while he was enjoying
his new wife, she punched him in the face, which caused him to start profusely bleed
from his nose.
• While there are those that insist the new wife actually murdered Attila, there’s
also the chance that one of the most cold-blooded men in history died from a nose bleed.
This could turn off quite a few of Attila’s groupies, the aptly named Hun-hounds.
3.
Training Montage • A bit of outdoors nookie can really spice
things up.
But being cautious about where you’re making babies is always important.
• A Serbian woman and her lover were not so cautious and picked an odd place for a
romp; on train tracks.
As she was writhing in pleasure on top, she apparently heard a train approaching, looked
up and was decapitated instantly.
I do feel sorry for the guy she was having sex with; one minute you’re having mind-blowing
sex, the next minute, your girlfriend’s head has been blown off.
• Still, for those playing at home; don’t have sex on train tracks; That’s no way
to get ahead in life.
Sex is nothing to lose your head over.
Ok, ok I’ll stop.
2.
Hung Like a Horse • Discovering that your spouse is cheating
on you is a betrayal like no other; finding out they’re cheating on you with a work
colleague is even worse.
• In 1993, a circus animal trainer Hannibal Cantori strangled his wife and then committed
suicide.
In his suicide note, Hannibal revealed the reason for murdering his wife; infidelity
of a treacherous nature.
He’d walked into his stable to find her having sex with one of his horses.
• It was a crime of passion.
Hannibal must’ve been utterly horrified.
Although maybe he also realized she’d only married him for the constant access to horse
cock. 1.
Scarecrow-Scare-hoe • Our final contestant is technically a
solo-venture but the tale is too depraved not to include.
• An Argentinian shepherd was found dead beside his DIY sex doll; a scarecrow.
He’d dressed his scarecrow in a long haired wig and even put lipstick on it to up the
sex appeal.
He’d also armed his scare-hoe with a six-inch strap-on for some sexy butt play.
The shepherd lived alone and wasn’t discovered until his corpse was getting so stanky the
neighbours called the cops.
• Police have no clue what caused the farmer’s demise but it’s possible his butt-play got
a little too rough and he tore something.
Or his scare-hoe came to life and murdered him when she saw how wrong the lipstick he’d
chosen was for her skin tone.
She was an Autumn and he’d put her in bright pink.
Disaster!