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\f0\fs24 \cf0 Hi I'm Taryn.
Since I believe that life's greatest lessons are learned from our failures and shortcomings,
not our achievements, this is my Draw My Life video: Failures Edition.\
\ Let's start from the beginning.
Here I am in my Mom's tummy.
Yep, those are my spongebob boxers.
Within a few hours of popping outta there, my parents realized I had one deformed ear.
here's a normal ear.
Here's a deformed ear.
Something tells me that grandma just got a little hungry in the hospital waiting room.
\ \
Some people might say that growing up in Kansas is a failure in and of itself - but I'm proud
of my home state -- where else can you live at the center of the US and yet be close to
nothing?!
It was like living in miles of emptyness and then WHAM!
tornadoes come and uplift your house!
And the local shopping malls!\ \
We also have one of the largest population of serial killers per capita in the whole
of the United States - including BTK, who actually targeted me while I was in high school.
But that's another story for another time.\ \
Anyway, growing up, I failed at a lot of stuff.
I never found a four leaf clover in all of my years of searching on the playground.
I never received a response from any of my fan letters to Jonathan Taylor Thomas and
the Hanson boys, despite the amazing stickers I would attach.
Apparently they just aren't interested in marrying me and living a perfect life.
I could never wear black and red as well as Claudia in the babysitter's club book series,
and I resented her for that.
I could never get past level 9 of Mario Brothers Nintendo game.\
\ I was also a really bad listener, something
that's carried over into my adult relationships and work.
I was also horribly coordinated.
once I tripped and my arm got stuck underneath the garage door.
i crashed my bike into a wall and cried.
One day I snuck into the basement of my church with some friends and accidentally stepped
on the water pipe, causing thousands of dollars in flooding.
I still don't know if God forgave me for that.\ \
Given my lack of coordination, I tried to pick up other fun activities, like reading
by myself on the playground so that I wouldn't have to socialize with other kids, and creating
elaborate funerals for my pet hamsters.
RIP little guys.\ \
I even attempted programming my first website, dedicated to my beanie baby collection, but
that ended the second I got a scary cease and desist legal letter from Ty Beanie Babies
for building an unauthorized fan site on geocities.
Needless to say, that was the end of my programming career.\
\ As a teenager, I screwed up all the time.
I over plucked my eyebrows.
I accidentally got a toddler stuck in his high chair while babysitting.
I ran my car over a curb in an attempt to miss a squirrel on the road.
I tripped on a hurdle in my first track and field meet.
I also may or may not have been caught sneaking alcohol out of the house at one point in time.
In the even that my mom is watching this video, let me state for the record that the alcohol
was ONLY to do scientific studies on it's effectiveness as a alternative fuel source
for vehicles.\ \
In college, I tried out for American Idol and made it to the finals, only to forget
my lyrics and cry on national TV.
Even Ryan Seacrest thought I was a failure.I also once woke up on a boat in Key West and
hitchhiking back to school with people who may or may not have been drug dealers.
So many other stories, but they aren't appropriate for a Draw My Life video.
\ \
I graduated a bit early for my age, so I moved to LA to try and pursue a career in entertainment.
Since then, everything's been a giant roller coaster of successes and failures, but I attempt
to fail a lot less at stuff and apply the lessons I've learned from my childhood to
be a better person, such as:\
\ - Don't eat mac 'n cheese to save money, unless
you want flatulance.\ - Stop stressing about auditions, you'll lose
out on 99% of them.\ - Stop trying to reshape your eyebrows, they
are permanently messed up.\ \
Just be yourself.
It sounds cheesy but it's true.
You're weird, weird self.
\ \
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