you much better joy than me not good at
drawing so my name is Estelle Perrin I'm
a psychotherapist an author and a
speaker and my field of work is
relationships and sexuality
my name is baratunde Thurston I'm a
comedian writer and activist my field of
work is making drunk people laugh here
is this man right and this is an organ
that is usually completely hidden I
would love to have it become really
beautifully colored and I would like him
to lead with power and heart and from
that place I would like him to connect
you know with other men and other women
from the heart what I'm hearing I
interpret this I see a scale right and
these are and you know if the history of
men was this imbalance that's the scale
we're just gonna call that a scale then
the future was gonna have something
that's a little more balanced equality
is not a 50/50 mmm that's what people
typically you know how much do you do
and how much do I do know I really think
the key word really is complementarity
okay and that means we're not going to
divide roles only by gender we're gonna
divide rolls by competency by who are
this particular moment is the most
suited to the simple view says
everything shared 5050 there's one pie
and we split it down the middle
there are many pies and some of them may
look like 5050 some will look 25 75
so maybe just be like the most narrow
slice there is no way that I could do
this if you were not doing the other
part and that becomes a much more
equalizing thing than this notion of
5050
you know sometimes we want to say change
comes one individual at a time but
change also needs to come through the
system and that systemic change for
example I think paternity leave for me
would be a systemic change that
highlights different values of what we
think is important in the life of men
and so there's only so far we can go by
focusing on individuals we also have to
look at the foundation they're standing
on the system that supports them or that
undermines them correct
and in this case actual real child care
and a real health care system America
would free us all to be have a more
equitable society I don't think this is
gonna be done in 20 years I think it's a
process we're gonna make progress during
that time but I would not be so
optimistic but how different are you
from your grandparents generation oh
yeah it's so much has changed and there
is still so much - yeah it's been nice
drawing with you there my pleasure