It's good to see you.
You just got back from Germany.
I did.
Yeah.
And I didn't know that--
I learned that today that you grew up--
you spend a lot of time in Germany.
In the Deutschland.
How long?
Back and forth until I was about 13.
Wow.
So you were born there?
No.
I was born in D.C., but my mother was German.
She was an opera singer.
So we would go back through the opera seasons.
And every opera has a dirty gypsy child, and that was me.
I didn't know any of that.
Do I feel-- like I'm more like special
to you right now, right?
You've always been special to me, but I'm just--
but in a different special way.
I knew.
I knew--
But, so are you a big deal when you're there?
Do people--
No.
Not at all.
No.
It's like when you go home to your family, are you big deal?
To my family?
Yes.
Oh.
Yeah, my family thinks I'm a big deal.
So people don't freak out when you're there.
No.
It's a big deal too.
Christmas is a big deal there too.
Huge, huge, huge.
Like you plan-- I planned Christmas like in July,
and then start planning actually decorating
two weeks before Thanksgiving.
Are you serious?
Serious.
So--
There is an uncomfortable silence going, yeah.
Something not right with her.
I see why Ellen thought she was special.
So you start at Thanksgiving, getting ready?
Yeah.
Right before Thanksgiving, I've started
pulling out the decorations.
OK.
Your whole house is decorated?
Yeah.
And obviously, a tree.
Well, there's trees.
Our nanny is allergic to pine, so we
had to go completely plastic.
Well, there's spruce.
There's other trees.
None of it's allowed in the house.
So there's a lot of really good-looking pine trees,
Wow.
She must be a good nanny.
She's amazing.
So, and what about the kid-- what do the kids want?
Well, they want a lot, but this year,
with all the fires and things like that,
I said, how about this year we give
to children who don't have anything from the fire?
So they came up with that they only get three small things.
And I said, that works.
Isn't that amazing?
[APPLAUSE]
That's so great.
But we need to wait until Christmas day,
to see if that's still going to play out.
To see if they still, on Christmas day, if they--
They're going to be like--
no, remember you said.
No, they're really good that way.
I think you can't not see what's going on in the world anymore,
and you can't protect your kids from it, so they saw it,
and it just made them really sad.
That's so great.
I hope a lot of people do that because there
are a lot of people--
I think a lot of people are doing it.
Yeah.
It just feels different this year for some reason.
I don't know.
People feel nicer?
Yeah.
We're counter--
No?
Yes, I do.
I think we're counterbalancing some not-nice things going
on, and I think people are trying to be nicer, so--
[APPLAUSE]
Your hair is hitting your microphones.
Sorry.
Oh.
[STATIC]
Now you try to do it on purpose?
I do it.
Yeah.
Do you care about our sound people at all?
You know, you're not bothering me.
I don't care.
Keep talking.
Talk.
OK.
[STATIC]
I'm not going to do it.
[STATIC]
OK.
Sorry.
So let's be serious.
All right.
This is a very serious show today.
A whole different vibe for me today.
There's like a seriousness here that we have to--
What are you talking about?
I don't know.
It's not serious at all.
No.
OK.
No.
All right.
So we talked about what the kids want.
Did they get you something?
No.
They should.
They should but they don't.
Yeah.
I say now what my mother said, which
is, I just want good kids.
Just be sweet to me.
That's all I want.
And like, no fighting.
And do they?
Not really.
Yeah.
I mean, they don't understand.
I say, why don't you make me breakfast in bed?
And they're like, what?
Us cook for you?
And I'm like, yeah, that's--
but they're still young too, so they
don't understand that concept.
Well, that that wonderful nanny you
have could give them some ideas that--
She could.
She could, she could, but I'm making her breakfast in bed as
well, so--
Oh, wow.
I might want to be your nanny.
That sounds like a really good job.
Yeah, it is.
But I'm glad to see you've had, seriously--
this is the serious part.
You've had a rough couple of months.
And I'm happy that you're happy and things are good.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It was a-- you know like, life, I realize,
happens whether you schedule it or not.
That just blew my mind this year.
Yeah, but my dad died, and then while my dad was failing,
we get a call that-- from the nanny, same nanny--
that our dog Ruby, the two-legger had a stroke.
And I'm like, what?
What?
I was like, just put her on life support.
Do something.
And they go, we can't.
She's suffering.
So I was like, OK.
There's a reason for this.
Dad settled.
We fly home.
Days later, your dad's not doing well.
Then the nanny comes into the room.
She's got to look on her face.
I'm like, what did the kids do?
And she was like, I need to speak to you in the bedroom.
And I was like, OK.
And she goes, your other dog has a heart tumor,
and she's going to die in three days.
And I was like, I'm going to be fine.
And then a week later, I'm in the bathtub crying,
and the kids are like, is mommy OK?
We were like, just leave mommy in the bathtub.
She's going to be fine.
So you know what?
It's life and-- but, you know, when
you lose your little rides-or-die,
it makes things different.
Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
And I know how much an animal lover you are,
and that's a really tough thing, because you
rescue-- it's so great.
She rescues the two-legged dogs that nobody wants.
Everybody wanted it.
I just got it.
Yeah.
She also made $100,000 donation to the Humane Society
because of everything that's going on.
[APPLAUSE]
And $400,000 to the Red Cross.
That's what she's done.
[APPLAUSE]
I mean, you're a good person.
I mean, whenever anything like this-- you've always,
every cause, you are always donating for it.
You do it 1,000 times more than I do.
Well, I have a great platform, and I can, you know--
You have a great bank account is what--
[LAUGHTER]
You would too if you didn't make so many donations.
[LAUGHTER]
OK.
So that's why no one's getting presents this year.
All right.
I have a surprise for you.
Oh, sweet Jesus.
What is it?
Yeah, no.
It's a good one.
Don't scare me.
Don't.
I'm not going to scare you.
I won't.
I swear if you do it--
I won't.
I will never come on this show again.
First of all, yes, you will.
Yeah, it's true.
But I'm not going to scare you.
But it's a surprise.
It's going to be great.
I'm just like, I don't want anyone coming up behind me.
Well, we're going to take a break.
We're not going to scare you.
Oh, good.