if you're like me your days are filled
with back-to-back meetings and by
meetings it's video chat yeah you're
just looking at the camera talking with
your colleagues trying to be there but
am I really present as this becomes the
new normal I want to get really good at
this
I took my questions to a body language
expert you don't have to be stoic
non-moving robots it just is not
interested her business is all about
helping people be better communicators
and bringing presents into their
day-to-day at work she used to be on the
Canadian rhythmic gymnastics team and
also a member of the Boston Ballet so
she knows her stuff how important really
is body language when I am doing virtual
meetings and I'm speaking with someone
who is present and engaged and using
their full Faculty of expression to
communicate with me I forget that we're
not in the same physical space right for
the moment I'm like there with them in a
present moment and at the end of the day
like that's what we need right now more
than anything can you talk about a
little bit like what constraints are
present in the virtual environment we're
in and you know tips are ways to manage
those constraints a lot of people get so
focused on what they're seeing that they
forget that they're also seen right so
they might get like way too close to the
camera then all you can see is my big
face right or they'll actually be so far
away that you can't see the details of
their facial expression so the general
rule that I give for distance is about 3
feet from your laptop right can I get it
can I get a tape measure oh yeah on my
camera yeah love it more like a tailor
measure but we'll see how oh my god that
was so speedy like two so two and a half
to three feet I would say and Friday
it's like from the back of your laptop
ok so this is three feet right here so
and then I guess I could scoot a little
in for a two and a half yeah I would do
two and a half for you but to be honest
now I'm seeing so
much more of you okay cool and oh god
it's incredible like you opened your
arms and I could see all of your arms so
we have the camera at eye level which
means that now when I look into the lens
what you see is my eyes actually looking
at your face would you suggest that
people turn off their self-cam when
they're in a meeting I would say
absolutely turn off that self camera I
think that an image of yourself
especially when it's animated and live
it's like a magnet for our eyes it can
also kind of take you out of this
conversation that you're trying to have
with someone and so in that sense I
always turn off my self camera because I
find it exceptionally distracting and
disconnecting looks like a big move how
to figure that out I don't think I've
ever done that one of my favorite things
I learned from Rachel is this thing
called physical anchoring it's this
really simple physical exercise that you
can do just a couple minutes before your
meeting just just get the blood pumping
and it reached up to the sky with our
hands open them to the side how wide and
how much space can you take up and now
we're gonna do tiny little circles with
our palms yeah that was great I almost
feel like I should start every group
meeting like all together we should do
this like you're almost gonna touch the
ceiling you'll be super present at the
meeting it worked for me
[Music]
I feel a lot better having these tips I
mean I'm already using them but in all
seriousness it really matters because at
this time we can't be together and if
there are little things that we can do
to make it feel more real to make it
feel that we're really listening that
were being present for each other and
we're clearly communicating little
things add up and it really matters at
this point in this pandemic this is the
only way we have to connect and so we
have a choice in connecting in a way
that it's intentional and holistic both
with our verbal and nonverbal
communication or kind of phoning it in
right and that choice is yours
you