VOICE From lazy Adam Sandler, comes yet
another lazy plotless farted-out comedy, that America will
inexplicably pay to see...
VOICE (CONT'D) Grown Ups.
VOICE (CONT'D) Join an all-star cast of comedic
actors...and Rob Shneider, as they dish out more of the mindless crap
audiences love:
VOICE (CONT'D) Pee jokes.
VOICE (CONT'D) Poop jokes.
VOICE (CONT'D) Fart jokes.
VOICE (CONT'D) More pee jokes.
VOICE (CONT'D) And...more fart jokes.
VOICE (CONT'D) Prepare to give up your own hard
earned money to pay for these rich actors to go on vacation with their
families.
VOICE (CONT'D) Seriously. This movie cost 80
million dollars, and they shot it at a lake!
VOICE (CONT'D) It's lowest common denominator
comedy at it's laziest, substituting plot, wit, and
character with guys getting hit in the faces...
VOICE (CONT'D) Guys getting hit in the foot...
VOICE (CONT'D) Guys getting hit in the dick...
VOICE (CONT'D) And even more fart jokes.
VOICE (CONT'D) Journey along with these celebrity
man-babies, as they try to become grown ups!
VOICE (CONT'D) Lenny's got Adam Sandler problems:
he's too rich and his wife is too hot.
VOICE (CONT'D) Kurt is African American, but he
can't play basketball.
VOICE (CONT'D) Higgs will have sex with anything,
just like David Spade
VOICE (CONT'D) Robb has two hot daughters, that
his friends creepily want to bang.
VOICE (CONT'D) And fat Kevin James is fat.
VOICE (CONT'D) Did we mention he's totally fat?
VOICE (CONT'D) Hahaha! (Fart noise)
VOICE (CONT'D) So get ready for another lazy Adam
Sandler movie full of the things you've come to expect:
VOICE (CONT'D) Product placement
VOICE (CONT'D) Adam Sandler's friends
VOICE (CONT'D) And jokes so devoid of humor,
creativity, or effort you won't know when to laugh...but don't
worry, they will!
VOICE (CONT'D) Alright we got it.
VOICE (CONT'D) OK, that's enough.
VOICE (CONT'D) It's really not funny, guys.
VOICE (CONT'D) Still not funny.
VOICE (CONT'D) Jeez, it's really not funny.
VOICE (CONT'D) Starring...
VOICE (CONT'D) Not Chris Farley
VOICE (CONT'D) Also Not Chris Farley
VOICE (CONT'D) Every Movie Hates Chris
VOICE (CONT'D) Las Bewbs
VOICE (CONT'D) Adam Sandler's Friend
VOICE (CONT'D) Whoever that cross-eyed dude is.
VOICE (CONT'D) And a carrot.
VOICE (CONT'D) Grown Ups
VOICE (CONT'D) You know, if you see Grown Ups 2
you're only encouraging him. NOOOOO!