Have you ever slept with a guy who wasn't your boyfriend?
Have you ever felt that it was safe because you were exclusive? Have you ever noticed that most
of the guys you were exclusive with never became boyfriends? You’ve been falling into the same trap
over and over and over and had no idea how it kept happening. In this Love U podcast,
I'm going to stop you from falling for men who are not worthy of being your boyfriend. Stick around.
I'm Evan Marc Katz, dating coach for smart, strong, successful women and
your personal trainer for love. Welcome to the Love U podcast. Keep listening to learn
why you should never be exclusive with a guy. When we're done, I'll let you know how you could apply
to Love You to create a passionate relationship that makes you feel safe, heard and understood.
Stephanie enrolled in Love U Master’s coaching three months ago. When we met, she was excited
about a new guy she was seeing, and with good reason. He was cute, he was interesting, and
he was interested in her. Even though I told her not to sleep with him until he was her boyfriend,
she ignored me, as most of my clients do. And soon she was seeing this guy regularly. Now,
even as a professional dating coach, I'm not the boss of my clients. So I did my best to stand by
and offer advice, as Stephanie requested. I did gently point out that sleeping with a guy who's
not your boyfriend is often a recipe for disaster. Stephanie assured me that she could handle it.
And besides, the guy she was seeing described himself as not a relationship guy. Nonetheless,
this not-a-relationship-guy did things that boyfriends do. He texted every day. They saw
each other every weekend. He was doing just about everything you'd want a real boyfriend to do,
just without the title and the commitment. I, being me, kept nudging Stephanie to get clarity
on what they were and could define themselves. But she predictably was afraid of rocking the boat.
And again, if you're the CEO of your love life, you don't have to be afraid of rocking the boat.
It's your boat. But she was not the CEO. She was the intern again, sleeping with another guy
where she was waiting for commitment. And if you asked her, she wasn't even ready for commitment
and had only been six weeks and she wasn't ready for a boyfriend yet. OK, another month
goes by and Stephanie finally has this biggest scary conversation that I encouraged her to have
a while back. And in this conversation, her guy agrees to see her exclusively.
However, even getting this out of him feels like a negotiation, and now she's starting
to feel anxious. Technically, the guy is doing everything right acting like a boyfriend. But
because they don't have a definition, they don't have a title of boyfriend girlfriend,
she doesn't really know when she's going to hear from him next. She can't count on him to leave
his weekends open. She can't trust that he'll want to listen to her after she's had a hard day. She
can't assume that she's going to see him over the holidays. So here's the thing and where I want you
to pay attention to how Stephanie's story affects you. Basically, Stephanie has negotiated herself
into a relationship that works for him but doesn't work for her. Her guy gets all the benefits of
having a girlfriend and she does not get the benefits of having a boyfriend. The consistency,
the security, the peace of mind that comes with having a partner who's invested in you,
has her back and is open to a future as opposed to is sleeping with me exclusively. And this is why
being exclusive is a trap. You think you've got a boyfriend, but you don't. You have a guy who
is using you for the time being but, doesn’t want everything that comes with commitment.
And what's worse is that you let him get away with it because you don't think you
can expect any more. You're wrong. If you want a boyfriend, don't settle for less, and if you
settle for less and start sleeping with a guy who's not your boyfriend, don't be too surprised
if a few months down the road you start to feel anxious about where your relationship is going.
You're anxious with good reason because your relationship probably isn't going anywhere. Love
U spent the entire third month of the course on this limbo period from when you find the guy that
you like up until deciding whether he's worthy of being your committed boyfriend. You don't have to
figure this all out yourself, but you do have to vow to stop making the same mistakes that you've
been making for years and years and years. I love you. I appreciate you and I've got your back.
My name is Evan Marc Katz. Thank you for tuning in to the Love U podcast. For more episodes like
this on YouTube, click on the subscribe button and ring the bell. Choose all to ensure that you
get notified whenever new content comes out and if you're listening to the audio podcast, please
share an honest review on Apple. More reviews equals more awareness of the Love U podcast
and more love in the world. And if you want to find love right now and are committed to making
healthier choices with men, so you could have that easy relationship I describe that makes you feel
safe, heard and understood, look for the link below. Apply now to Love U. I'll see you soon.
Are you the woman who has everything except the man? You can have the relationship of your dreams
and you don’t have to change to get it. In Love U, you will gain confidence, let go of unhealthy
relationship patterns, learn to trust your judgement, understand how to attract high-quality
men, access long-term compatibility, and create a passionate, unconditionally loving relationship
with a partner that puts you first, never lets you down, and makes you feel safe, heard and
understood, click on the www.evanmarckatz.com and click on the apply button to get started.