meghan markle the duchess of sussex has
revealed she went through a miscarriage
writing in the new york times she said
it broke her husband's heart
and that she hoped people could commit
to asking others
if they were okay the duchess outlines
the events of one morning last july and
she said
i knew as i clutched my firstborn child
that i was losing my second
the duchess spoke of feeling an almost
unbearable grief
at losing a child which she said was
experienced by many but talked about by
few in the pain of our loss she said my
husband and i discovered that in a room
full of 100 women
10 to 20 of them will have suffered from
miscarriage
yet despite the staggering commonality
of this pain the conversation
remains taboo megan said she shared her
experience to urge people to commit to
asking others
are you okay over the thanksgiving
holiday in the u.s
with more details for us here's our
royal correspondent sarah campbell
it's an article entitled the losses we
share so it's it's wider than just
megan's experience but obviously she
relates it
to what we now know happened in july of
this year
and she starts by saying after changing
archie's diaper she said she felt a
sharp cramp
she dropped to the floor with him in her
arms
humming a lullaby she said to keep us
both calm
and she knew that something wasn't right
she says as i clutched my first born
child
i knew that i was losing my second and
it goes on in
in detail to talk about this distress
that she and prince harry
suffered uh earlier this year um
as i say in july of this year suffered a
miscarriage and also sort of relates it
to the fact that this is a can be a
relatively common uh occurrence a lot of
women talk about it or
experience it but don't talk about it
she says that you know they learn that
in a room of 100 women 10 to 20 of them
will have suffered a miscarriage and yet
the conversation remains
taboo so relating her own experience and
perhaps
hoping that this may give women the
courage to talk about what is obviously
a very painful and distressing
experience for so many people
living in america now they are living in
a
a house in in santa barbara in
california
um she's talking about this thanksgiving
of course in the states tomorrow it's
thanksgiving she says as we plan for a
holiday unlike any before
many of us separated from our loved ones
alone sick
scared and divided let us commit to
asking
others are you okay the significance of
that sentence
of course was that it was in an
interview with an itn
reporter a couple of years ago that
really sort of gave gave
made it obvious that things weren't
happy with megan the journalist asked
her are you okay and she said well
people thank you for asking people
haven't asked me that question
and so she's really saying we need to be
asking each other more
are you okay and that's really the sort
of the thrust
of the article but as you would expect
because she's such a
high profile person people will be
focusing today on on the very personal
uh news that she and prince harry
suffered a miscarriage in july of this
year
there has been a huge reaction worldwide
to this opinion piece particularly for
women and men who themselves have
experienced a miscarriage or still birth
the family we're about to talk to have
sent us these photographs of their
daughter
avery who was still born at seven months
for them it's really important to
capture
the short time they had with her and
they hope that by speaking about their
experience
it will help break down the stigma
nicole and stephen
chidi live in manchester they now have
two sons hunter and eden
but they continue to remember the life
of their daughter avery and i'm pleased
to say
they are with me now to share some of
their experiences and to talk about the
blog that they started off
to just talk about some of the things
that happened to them and to share their
experiences with other parents
lovely to see you both nicole and
stephen and thank you for taking this
time
it's really important for us to talk to
families like yours who've experienced
loss in this way nicole i wanted to
start by asking you just
you know how you felt about megan's
piece and the things she had to say
i think for me i it obviously it's
heartbreaking to hear that again that
you know another person has gone through
boss and has to experience the grief
that you do go through
it again she's she's really
creating a platform for women to start
speaking and i know
across the lost community this morning
everyone's talking about it and
everyone's
really relating to the words that she's
saying
i know for me especially when it first
happened to me in 2016
no high-profile people had ever come out
that they'd been through pregnancy loss
before
and i felt really alone when it happened
because i didn't know
anyone and i thought i was the only
person in the world that it ever
happened to
so i it's just really nice to know that
more high-profile people are coming out
there and speaking about it and creating
that platform
for millions of families that have been
through it that feel alone
so nicole when she talks about megan the
taboo
of miscarriage and almost that sense of
shame is that still true do you think or
are things also changing on that front
i think things are changing slightly but
it is
absolutely still a taboo subject if
you've not
experienced loss
people don't want to hear about it a
perfect example would be the negative
criticism chrissy teigen's received
recently for sharing her side of the
experience
people like to remain very naive to it
and not know about it because it is such
a negative
thing to happen but the reality is it's
a very real
thing that happens every day and so we
do need to be talking about it more but
there is a long way to go it's a very
under research and a very under talked
about subject
and stephen if women aren't talking
about it i'm sure many men aren't
talking about it either how did you
feel when you experienced the loss of
your daughter were there any men that
you felt that you could
reach out to and talk to about this um
it was very very difficult um there
wasn't anybody directly because as
nicole said we weren't aware of
other people going through this we kind
of we were really naive we thought
she was our first daughter so it was
just a case if you get pregnant you have
a baby and then and that's that and
when it happened it was it was a huge
shock and it took us months to be able
to realize that
there are other people out there but as
such i was very fortunate that
like i was really open with nicole and
we were very close so
she was my biggest sort of person to
speak to
as well as my parents but otherwise
there wasn't really anybody that i could
reach out to that would understand it
from
a sort of a personal level until
we came across tommy's um and a rainbow
clinic where
i reached out to another another father
it was like a
a meeting to a coffee morning where you
just got the opportunity to talk to
other fathers and other couples
and that for me was a real turning point
because
you can't get the same support talking
to
the same person who's been through it in
your household or somebody who doesn't
understand so
that kind of level of outreach was was a
huge part in my
um road to recovery if you like so
stephen do you think it's really
important that megan talked about
harry and talked about his pain his
heart being broken
as well yeah most definitely because
i think like in society like the male
has the alpha male response where
you've got to be strong and i know i
certainly wouldn't allow any of my pain
in
whilst nicole was kind of at the height
of going through the whole delivery
process and
and all of that kind of thing but it's
just it's so important to remember that
one if
if you are a guy who's been through it
you need to talk to somebody
and it's okay not to be okay rather than
trying to be the strength all the time
um and i just think that those
outreaches that like
sans and thomas have created is
incredible because as i say speaking to
other males about it is is so important
so i think she's done a really good
thing
for um for the whole organization really
to try and help males because it
is just so important i think you're both
very brave
for talking to us but nicole i wonder if
you also think that it took a real level
of bravery from megan
to speak out about this so publicly
knowing as well
of course there's going to be some
backlash from some people too
absolutely and there'll always be
backlash i imagine when you're in the
spotlight but i think
more than anything what i think she must
be really feeling right now is actually
she's
had a weight lifted off her chest
because to hold in
something so painful like that
must be really really difficult i know
for you live in fear of the questions
when people don't know what you've been
through you live in fear of people
asking
oh it you know when's the next baby
coming and i'm sure she really lived in
fear of that
and um you know i just think it's
amazing that she spoke out but i imagine
that it's actually been really good for
her to do that
and the positive messages that you
receive from people saying you've helped
them
will absolutely outweigh the negative
ones well you have both helped many
people today as well by speaking to us
and we're really pleased to hear that
hunter and eden are doing
so well and you're a happy family
together thank you very much for joining
us thank you so much