(CHAD JAMES) So, we've been watching a ton of "Power Rangers" lately—what with the marathon, the movie, AND our upcoming DEATH BATTLE—
and it really reminded us just how many god-awful villains there are.
So, we thought we'd count down the worst of the worst.
So, hey, here's Nick for ScrewAttack's Top 10 WORST Power Rangers Villains.
I vote for Nick, because he went on vacation without recording this intro.
(NERVOUS NICK) Imagine a villain with a device capable of tearing holes in space-time.
Whoever holds a device like that could be anywhere at anytime; in the right hands, they could be completely unstoppable!
So, tell me how the Chunky Chicken had a pair of scissors capable of that exact thing and still somehow lost!
Just cut off the Megazord's arms and put them on a distant planet or something—it's not hard!
I know the monster's names are never chosen for their intimidation factor or anything,
but when your name is "Mr. Ticklesneezer," there's a special spot on this list just for you.
When Trini's childhood nightmare-fuel toy becomes a gigantic life-sized monster—you know, the one thing you would never want it to do?
(TICKLESNEEZER) It—it's kinda strange being alive all of a sudden, you know?
(NERVOUS NICK) Its diabolical scheme is just trying to contain these superhuman teenagers in a fragile glass jar.
If you remember that abominable snowman thing from "Looney Tunes," he's basically that. In fact, he actually happens to sound exactly like him.
(YETI) Ooh, what a cute little pink bunny rabbit.
(NERVOUS NICK) As it turns out, this whole ordeal happened in Trini's dream anyway, making Mr. Ticklesneezer's entire episode a huge waste of everyone's time.
Every evil overlord needs an army. And for the longest time, that was where the disposable Putty Patrollers came in.
But when Lord Zedd overhauled Rita's Earth-conquering gig, he took the opportunity to introduce...the Z-Putty Patrollers.
Now, you might think that this was some kind of an improvement, when in fact the minions were now worse than ever.
By hitting the obvious "Z" on their chests, the Z-Putties instantly explode. That's all it takes!
But, think about what this means for their everyday lives.
They will never know, for their miserable lives, what it's like to sleep face-down, or to wear a seat belt, or to give a hug.
Z-Putties make me sad, and that's why they're on the list.
They say that the eye is a miracle of nature, one of the most advanced and most fascinating organs of the human body.
But that is NOT AN EXCUSE to make a monster out of literally nothing but eyeballs!
Look, I don't care how much trouble Eye Guy gave the Rangers;
I don't care that he's managed to appear in five different episodes.
I just can't get over how uncomfortable his entire existence must be.
(EYE GUY) You are a sight for sore eyes, Your Loveliness.
(NERVOUS NICK) Yeah, your eyes are sore because you walk on them everywhere you go!
I mean, come on, like, Carl from "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" was able to put this together!
(CARL) Gimme a hug, Fryman!
(FRYLOCK) Looks kinda tight...
(CARL) I'm gonna hug the breath right outta you!
(FRYLOCK) Meatwad, unplug him!
(NERVOUS NICK) As reliably as the sun rises every morning, so too will things fail if Bulk & Skull have anything to do with them.
So, when these wanna-be bullies created their own monster, of course, it turned out to be as garbage as Turkey Jerk.
This stupid thing's primary weapon is a laser-blasting turkey baster that supposedly was gonna be enough to destroy all of Angel Grove.
This turns out to not exactly be the case, because it only takes half of the Rangers to bring it down for good.
I mean they used a friggin' Power Cannon, but still!
Oh, and if Turkey Jerk looks suspiciously like a re-purposed Chunky Chicken, that's...because it is.
(ZORDON) Power Rangers, you have a dangerous mission ahead of you. Behold the Viewing Globe.
(ZACK) It's just a bunch of pumpkins.
(ZORDON) No, Zack, they are Rita's evil doings.
(NERVOUS NICK) ...And they're also one of the worst villains in the whole show, the Pumpkin Rapper.
Really, this dude's name says it all: he's just a pumpkin that speaks entirely in terrible raps!
(PUMPKIN RAPPER) ♪ Ooh, you Rangers make me mad! Wakin' me up with a rap that bad! ♪
(NERVOUS NICK) It's true that he can put pumpkins on your head that can suffocate you,
but on the plus side, the sweet release of death at least means you'll never have to listen to Pumpkin Rapper's awful bars ever again.
(PUMPKIN RAPPER) ♪ Welcome to my pumpkin patch! Perhaps you'd like to play some catch? ♪
(NERVOUS NICK) But even at that, the base gourd's threat level is so low, the Rangers don't even need to summon their Zords to turn the Pumpkin Rapper into squash.
Look, I know this show was assembled from whatever footage they can get from a 1980's Japanese Super Sentai show, and...
I understand that not every villain is going to be the same quality...or lack thereof.
The editors on "Power Rangers" just kinda took whatever they could get; that STILL is not an excuse for Shellshock!
It's just a giant turtle with a frickin' traffic light coming out of his shell—like, come on, man, really!?
Not even Shellshock's special power to freeze people in place or force them to run continuously can make up for that!
And, like some of the lamer monsters, it only takes two Zords to evaporate Shellshock into thin air.
Whoopee.
Folks, no matter what anybody tells you, no matter what you may think of yourself, you are not a mistake.
(WILL) How come you don't want me, man?!
(screaming internally)
(NERVOUS NICK) But Brick Bully is. No, I'm not just talking about how he's only half-formed or that his face is upside-down. (Although, that's part of it.)
I mean that Rita Repulsa fired an evil spell, missed, and wound up with this rectangular abomination.
And, like a crappy—no, really crappy—version of Frieza, Brick Bully has other forms, just slightly less terrible than the last.
And you might think that his ability to turn the Rangers into bricks would make him some sort of colossal threat,
but, as it turns out, all the good guys had to do was basically destroy the bricks to return the Rangers to normal.
So, you know, the exact thing that you thought would kill them for good.
Oh ho ho ho ho, you thought—you THOUGHT!—there would only be one rapping monster on this list, but you were wrong!
Finishing what the Pumpkin Rapper would only dream of starting, the Hate Master's rhymes were so awful that they began making the Rangers hate each other.
(HATE MASTER) Finster claimed they're evil seeds. Spectacles is what he needs.
Rangers, now I seal your fate. With evil dust, you'll love to hate!
(NERVOUS NICK) Now I'm not saying that a show that assigns Zack as the Black Ranger and Trini as the Yellow Ranger is racist or anything, but...
...when it turns out that Aisha is the only one immune to the Hate Master's rap spell,
and Alpha scans her skin in search for the answer, well... Draw your own conclusions, I guess.
Anyway, literally all it took to undo the Hate Master's hate raps was a good ol' heart-to-heart conversation.
But, just as a warning to any prospective rapping monsters in the future, the Rangers annihilated him with five colossal robots anyway.
I, uh, I try not to get too upset at the endless onslaught of stupid Power Rangers villains, but...
Pursehead is a unique case.
If something as harmless as Kimberly's purse can be turned into the monster of the day,
for what reason would Lord Zedd not target a military tank or fighter jet?!
Anyway, Pursehead is a special kind of pathetic.
Even though it could use its own contents to spawn minions which require the power of the Zords to take down,
Pursehead's demise was brought about from ONE KICK!
Bro! There are Putties—frickin' Putties!—that have taken worse beatings than that!
No monster should ever be outlived and outclassed by its own minions!
(CHAD JAMES) Yep, they really made all of those.
Hey, uh, tell us some of your worst Power Rangers villains that you've come across, leave it in the comments,
and, of course, you guys can click the magical buttons over to the side to watch new videos, subscribe, or even become a FIRST member. Eh?
Oh, and tell Nick he sucks for being on time.