- Today we ask the age-old question.
- Will it pasta?
- Let's talk about that.
(upbeat funky music)
(roar)
- Good mythical morning.
- We have this show.
This show. - This.
- And sometimes on this show
we like to find out if things will.
- And today we are aiming our will it sights
directly at the wonderful world of pasta.
It's time for
- [Both] Will It Pasta?
- Okay, first up we have popardelle.
This is pappardelle pasta made from Pop Tarts.
Now what we have done, and we've done this on most of these,
is we have infused whatever the ingredient is,
into pasta, so we really are finding out
if something will pasta.
- [Link] This is a legitimate noodle, man.
- It is a legitimate noodle with eggs and flour.
- Right.
- And then you have cinnamon Pop Tarts infused into yours,
and I have strawberry Pop Tarts infused into mine,
and there's a little bit of white frosting and some
sprinkles like you'd have on a strawberry Pop Tart on mine,
and you have some cinnamon butter.
- Cinnamon butter sauce.
(Rhett laughs)
So we know that Pop Tarts will noodle,
but Will It Pasta is really,
is it a dish worthy of us eating?
- Oh, I got a big honkin' noodle here.
- This looks like an unrolled cinnamon roll,
which is delightful.
Dink it.
- Oh, I just got contaminated with your cinnamon.
- It's okay.
You dropped a little.
- That's real nice.
- It is really nice.
- That's the realest and nicest.
- I never thought that I would want my Pop Tart taste
to be so not crispy.
- But floppy's good for Pop Tarts.
- It's kinda like a--
- Floppy Tart.
- It's like a Pop Tart that you put in the microwave
and forgot about,
and then dipped into some water.
But in a good way.
That's really good, I think you could get your kids
to eat pasta, of course, that's not a problem.
(laughs)
But if you have a problem with your kids eating pasta.
- Not anymore.
- Now there's a solution.
Will it Pasta?
- [Both] Yes!
- Great work noodlizing that.
Next up we have Doritoccine.
That's right, it's nacho cheese Doritos,
made into noodles and then spicy verde Doritos.
- Verde?
- Verde, with a green sauce in order to make,
well, the green sauce on top of the orange noodles,
and then we're going to crumble some Cool Ranch.
- Did you wash? - Boil for safety?
- Uh, yeah, obviously.
- You boiled your hand?
- (laughs) No.
- I asked him if he washed his hands.
- I asked him if he boiled it for safety.
- Sorry, yes, no.
- So that's some nice Cool Ranch on top,
that's my favorite flavor.
- It looks like a pile of cat vomit
on top of a Dorito noodle.
But I'm still hopeful.
- The Dorito noodles really turned out.
- They turned out, this is like the one that's been
oh, you gonna dink it first?
- It smells so much like Doritos.
- It's very tortillay smelling.
- Yeah, it's got the corn, the corn smell
that I have grown to love.
(crew laughs)
Oh man.
- Oh?
- What kind of look is that, man?
This is like an improvement on pasta.
This is not just Does It Pasta,
it makes pasta better!
We're gonna have to change the name of this whole series.
Does it make it better?
- The verde is actually very good.
- The noodles are great.
- I mean, I had high hopes for the noodles
being very nacho cheesy, and I think it's a bit diluted.
- But the sauce is so good.
And the crunch of the Cool Ranch,
the Cool Ranch crunch, I live for that.
- He lives for the crunch of Cool Ranch.
Not a sponsor.
That's our loss. (crew laughs)
- Hold on, so you're not convinced by this?
- No, it is very good.
Without the verde sauce, I'd say it would be mediocre,
but that really puts it over the top.
Then you shave it with the ranch, and um.
- Shave it?
- You know, you crunch it.
- Yeah, crunch it.
- I'm not as enthusiastic as you are, that's pretty obvious.
- I can tell.
- But at the same, and he's personally offended by that.
Um, as well as the Doritos executives that
we have no relationship with.
- [Rhett] But does it make it better?
- [Both] Yes!
- I just dropped some in my mug,
but I like it so I don't care.
Okay, all right, this is Printioli.
This is Ravioli made out of actual printer paper pulp,
filled with edible printer ink.
- But all printer ink is not edible,
only the edible printer ink is edible.
- And as you can see, it looks like you've got the magenta
cartridge, and I've got the cyan cartridge,
and both of these are put over a bed of
compromising documents that we had to shred.
Some of my released tax returns.
- This is real paper, we're not eating that.
Well, there's just some on there so I guess I will eat it.
(crew laughs)
Oh man, I can't even get my fork into the ravioli noodle.
- You don't really need a fork for it.
- It's like a dried cadaver skin.
- I'm just gonna put a little paper on top.
- I got some on the edge there.
And gotta dink it.
(grunts)
Papery.
- Hold on.
- Chewy.
Blue.
- What you got?
(groans)
- Ugh, it looks like guts. (roars)
- There's not anything good about this.
- Well.
- I'm really searching too.
- Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, fiber.
- Hold on.
- Fiber, man.
- We just had one of the most beautiful pasta creations
we've ever had and you crapped all over the Doritos pasta.
- No I didn't.
- It's not as strong as I thought it would be.
(laughs)
And now we're eating something that
shouldn't be fed to someone that you're trying to punish.
You're trying to find the good side?
- I'm trying to find the good side.
It's got fiber.
This is gonna go, this is gonna push
everything through like a bulldozer.
- Mine's not getting in the system, man.
- You're not swallowing that?
- I got a pretty good idea I'm just gonna
cheek it for a while and then I'm gonna spit it.
- Really?
I mean, I like bland tasting things.
(laughs)
So I'm all in with this, I like the colors.
- I can't get it down, man.
(groans)
Oh, gosh, look what it did to my teeth.
Hold on, you got it down?
- I got half of it down.
- Okay, I don't know how long that's gonna stick around.
I should wash out.
- [Link] But will it pasta?
- [Both] No.
- Now this is pretty.
- That's still in my teeth.
- Oh gosh.
- What about some vermicelli?
- What about it?
- Well, no, what about some vermincelli?
We've taken muskrat stewed meat,
and we have made noodles out of muskrat stewed meat.
It looks like an earthworm.
- Now we got this meat from our meat man.
(crew laughs)
- Our shady meat man.
- Our shady, unnameable meat man, but I'll tell ya,
brother can come up with some meat.
You can just point at somewhere on the evolutionary tree
and he's like "I got you."
(laughs) I got you.
It doesn't even have to be a current animal,
it could be an extinct one and he would get it.
- And then we created a pesto, pest,
that muskrats are, with the food that muskrats eat,
some rodent food crushed up with sunflower seeds
and olive oil to make the pest-o,
and then they also eat snails as it turns out.
- I was trying to figure out what that was,
it looks like a mushroom but it's not.
- And so do we, that is not a mushroom, that is a snail.
- Okay.
(clears throat)
- It's not appetizing, can I go back to the Doritos?
- Okay, so I've got a nice, heaping helping
of muskrat pasta and a snail.
- Muskrat pasta.
We muskrat ourselves a question right now,
why are we doing this?
- Dink it.
(Link whines)
A little gamey.
(dry heaves)
It's a greasy animal.
(crew laughs)
Just eating a bottom-feeder, you know.
- Bottom of a what, hole?
Oh, and you just gagged, huh?
It still has a pastaness to it,
which is a bit of a rescue for me.
- What is a muskrat?
- I don't love it.
- And what is the musk part?
- I think the musk, it's like a rat that's covered in musk,
which is like a secretion that comes from a gland
near the penis of a deer.
- It goes up to deer penises and asks permission?
What, I don't, how does it work?
Or does it make its own musk?
- It makes its own musk, I think,
it's like a gland that makes it smell like cologne.
- How do you know about deers?
- That's where most musk comes from.
(crew laughs)
- Oh, I thought musk was like a cologne.
- Exactly.
- My dad had some musk, and he's like
"Boy, don't touch it."
It was from deer?
- Yeah, it's from that part of the deer.
- That's why my mom didn't like it.
- Are you gonna be able to get this down?
- Yeah. - Oh really?
- Ever since we started talking about deer,
it's actually not that bad, I mean.
- It came back up, man.
- Link is now comforting himself by hugging himself.
- It hit right there.
- Okay, that wasn't very pleasant.
I wouldn't recommend it to anyone,
unless you were in a real bad way.
- Vermincelli, will it pasta?
- [Both] No. (Link groans)
- Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we've got some ballghetti.
Yes, when I say "ball," what I mean is testicles.
And specifically from the duck.
We've got some ballognese sauce,
which is sauce made from duck balls.
We've got the pasta made from duck balls,
and just in case it wasn't clear enough,
on top, we've got duck balls.
Duck balls three ways is what I call this.
- Oh my goodness.
Duck balls all day, man.
- Let me just say,
ducks have bigger balls than I would have thought.
- Look how big.
- [Rhett] Why'd you pick the biggest one?
- Look how big that one is!
That one's the size of an eyeball,
like a giant's eyeball.
- I thought you were gonna say
that one's the size of a human.
- Yeah, it is the size of a human testicle.
- Speak for yourself.
(crew laughs)
Uh, okay, so.
- What are we gonna do?
- I'm just thinking of it like a kidney bean,
and I like beans. - Yeah you do.
- Yeah, I love beans.
- I sadly don't, okay, so,
we're gonna get a representation of all three forms.
- Oh gosh, this is so difficult.
Oh, it's so tough.
- Oh, you got a big one, bro.
- Hold on, you picked the little ball?
- I wouldn't get the biggest one.
- That's the one I got.
- That's the one he got.
This is the one I got.
- You have more.
- Two for one special on Rhett's fork.
- Oh gosh.
- Okay, we dunk it.
And now let's sunk it.
(dry heaves)
Did you bite the ball?
- Oh yeah.
I felt like I felt it personally when I bit it.
(crew laughs)
I personally offended myself.
- It's a bit mushy.
- A man should not eat testicles.
- But women?
No, no one should.
- It just feels like an attack on myself.
- (groans) Just the taste of it is rather horrible.
- Why do ducks need such big balls?
(gags) (crew laughs)
They do have a corkscrew. (gags)
(crew laughs)
I saw that on Discovery Channel, they got a corkscrew.
You seen that?
- (groans) The (groans) the taste of the inside of it--
- You gotta have something to power that corkscrew.
You know what I'm saying?
- That's the motor?
- You gotta have two big motors for that corkscrew.
(gagging)
This is not going down, man.
(gags) - No no no no no!
Don't!
- Man, I went too big, the ball was too big.
I went too big.
My eyes were bigger than my balls.
- Oh man, come on, why you gotta lead me like that?
- I'm sorry man, hey, listen,
only one of us has to make it.
(crew laughs)
It's like we're on a journey and I died,
but if you go on, it's like we both got there.
I'm sorry, I just, it just hit me.
I was really going for it, I really went for a good chew
and a move to get some down.
And I was just filled with the taste of duck balls.
- All right, I'm gonna try to get it down right now.
- You can do it, Link.
- It's now or never. - I believe in you.
- (groans) Balls to the wall.
- I believe in you, man.
(vomits) (laughs)
I saw it all come out, man.
But hey, at least it-- (vomits)
- There's more.
- Wait, there's more. (laughs)
- Half of it did go down.
- Oh all right, good.
You win an award.
- I didn't make it either.
I'm sorry.
- It's okay, man.
- I failed us.
- What are we trying to prove anyway, man?
- Well we're not trying to prove anything.
We're just trying to ask a very important question.
Duck testicles.
- [Both] Will they pasta?
No!
- They will not.
All right, we've answered those questions
so you don't have to, thanks for liking,
commenting, and subscribing.
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