I'm going to start today's episode with a question.
Has anyone here had acid reflux?
Have you guys had that before?
Oh, my God, yes. [Conan] Anybody?
Oh, I've never had anything. I don't know.
Like that in my life,
and I don't know what's going on with me,
but I have had something,
like this feeling in my throat for a while now,
for like weeks and weeks,
and all of the symptoms line up with acid reflux.
Oh, jeez. Now, would that be
because I'm anxious about something?
Would that be because I'm drinking lye,
which is something I do
before I go to bed every night.
Oh.
No, I don't know what it is, but I'm wondering,
if you can hear it in my voice,
and if it makes my voice sound more mellifluous.
Yeah, a little bit. Maybe a little more raspy,
then I'm going to not treat the disease.
Do you hear it at all, Matt?
You're an expert at,
do you hear anything in my voice, it's a little different.
Yeah, it's sultry.
It's whiskey voice.
You've just deep barrel throated.
I want to ask you this.
As you know, I don't love the sound of my voice,
and that's true of a lot of performers,
but I think I have good reason.
And I'm wondering if I should start experimenting with
lowering my tone a little bit on the podcast.
If that might be something that people like hearing.
You're lowering your voice,
but you're also kind of changing your like dialect.
Well, I don't intend to do that.
I'm just trying to lower it.
But I think once it gets lower, it's almost like a,
there's a certain attitude
that comes with it.
A certain big D energy.
Oh boy, I don't like it.
That wasn't what I was thinking.
Matt, can you, can you just lower it
when you edit the show?
I can pitch shift you down if you want or sound like,
like put the lotion in the basket.
Well, I'm going to, do me a favor, Matt,
I'm going to start talking
and you pitch me down and maybe
we'll find a tone that people out there find exciting.
I'm going for kind of a confident guy,
a guy who looks back at his life
and knows that he's had great achievements.
Are you doing an accent?
I'm not sure what I'm doing.
And I can tell you that this will be pitch shifted,
and you will sound like basically like Barry White.
Yeah.
So if you want to say something kind of
to the ladies, feel free.
Just a shout out to all those ladies right now.
This is Conan O'Brien, I don't know why Sona is giggling,
but I'm just having a good time right now,
kicking it in my crib.
Can you try something else?
And I swear to God, I will pitch this lower.
And I promise I won't pitch this high, like a chipmunk.
And so, go ahead and just do something real sultry.
Yeah, last night I was with three of my lady friends.
Let's just say it was quite an evening.
We played Parcheesi.
And then we all had some grape Snapple,
and they left quite satisfied.
That's all I can say about that incident.
Yeah.
I have no doubt that our listeners are weak in the knees
from that.
Well, here's what I want to do.
I do wonder, is there any,
is there anything I can do to make my voice sound sexier?
Have you tried just doing a little breathier, you know,
a little more aspirated kind of like that.
I, you know,
I did notice when we were talking to Bill Burr recently
that he's got this thing,
he talks like he's missing most of his lungs.
Have you noticed that?
Bill Burr's like, yeah, he's you got, you got people.
And they're wondering, you know, what's,
what's that all about?
And it's like,
he's got to get more air into the four tiny sacks
left he has to suck air.
I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't do that.
I, you know, I don't know.
I don't know what they're doing, I think it's, it's us.
We ride a subway, then ride a bus and it's like,
he's got to grab more air.
He takes little sips of air
and then he gets out what he can.
I saw Ben Affleck, in the ghetto,
why do people need to,
why does everyone need to comment?
I mean, I'll work on it.
It's better when he's around and I can hear him,
but he's got that thing,
like I've only taken a very short gulp of breath,
and I got to get it out real fast
before I take another breath, because
when people play sports, anyway,
they do it for sports.
And then you're like, what are you doing?
I don't know about that.
That's not a good way to go.
No, I don't think so.
It could be kind of breathy.
That's good.
That works.
Is that something that,
that's kind of more,
this is more of a Will Arnett kind of thing.
Yeah.
Oh, that's nice.
What if you were to just like, like,
I'm gonna call in with a love song request
and you're the breathy DJ, okay.
Good.
All right.
So hi.
I'd like to play Wilson Phillips.
Hold On for my husband.
All right, and what's your name darling?
My name's Sheila.
Sheila.
All right.
We're gonna play Wilson Phillips right now.
Wow, are you single?
I mean, I know I'm married, but wow.
Well, I'm married too,
but that never stopped me from jumping in the game.
If you know what I mean.
Oh my.
The game?
The game.
Yeah, I mean, I like to play hacky sack,
even though my foot's occupied.
I can juggle two sacks at once.
Okay.
I have to go.
You can cancel that request.
That went the wrong way.
Yeah, I don't think it's your voice.
I think it's the things you say.
Yeah, I say terrible things.
Yeah, like you were, we had your voice pitched down
and you talked about having girls over
and were like, oh yeah.
And then you're like, grape soda and Parcheesi.
I don't think, I just don't have it in me.
And I think my voice probably is a true reflection
of who I am.
I like your voice.
I honestly don't think you should feel that way
about your voice.
You do kind of have this like deep, I don't know.
There's a little crackle in there that's alluring,
you know, you got a nice voice.
That's very nice of you.
That's very kind.
I will try to accept myself more as,
as I was made or as to quote, you know,
the great James Lipton, as God made me.
That's right.
God made him.
Conan as God made me.
And I think you're going to age
into even a finer voice.
Yeah.
That's nice to think about maybe,
maybe my voice will get better
as my face rots off my skull.
Well, at least you're podcasting,
so you're covered.
I timed this just perfectly,
cause as you know, the Irish,
our faces don't age well,
so this is a,
this was the good move,
I think,
as the face rots, the voice deepens.