-Welcome, everybody.
Welcome, welcome to "The Tonight Show."
You're here.
You're watching at home.
Thank you very much.
Happy Friday, everyone. Happy Friday.
[ Cheers ]
You guys, it is officially --
it's the holiday season right now.
We're in the thick of it. Yeah.
This is the time of year, we're all deciding
who's gift worthy and who's gift card worthy.
You know what I'm saying?
But aren't the holidays in New York a special time?
[ Cheers and applause ]
This morning, on the subway,
I saw a guy wearing a Santa hat
and nothing else.
And I just thought, "It's that time of year."
Speaking of the city, for the first time ever,
New York City has been named
the Most Expensive City in the World.
-Whooooo!
[ Laughter ]
-Really? You like that, sir?
Things are so expensive, NBC can only afford
to plug in the bottom half
of the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree.
That's the only part.
Things are so expensive,
the Statue of Liberty just started an OnlyFans.
[ Laughter ]
Things are so expensive,
pickpockets are running credit checks
to see if you're worth the effort.
[ Laughter ]
But everyone's excited about this --
tomorrow, the U.S. plays The Netherlands
in the knockout round of the World Cup.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Whooo!
That's right, tomorrow is the highly anticipated
World Cup match
between the United States and The Netherlands.
It's going to be a tough challenge,
but I know we can do this,
especially if every person in the studio
cheers their hardest.
Say it with me.
USA!
-USA!
USA! USA! USA!
-Wait, sorry, stop, stop, stop. Sorry.
I think I see someone who's not cheering over there.
No -- yes.
Yeah, you.
What is -- What is your name?
-Uh, Gertrude, yeah?
[ Light laughter ]
-Welcome to the show, Gertrude, yeah?
I don't mean to be rude, but where are you from?
-Um, I am from Tampa,
in your American state of Florida.
-No, no, where are you actually from, Gertrude, yeah?
-I am visiting from Eindhoven in The Netherlands.
-That's what I thought.
Now, I normally wouldn't do this, but...
get out of here.
-Oh, no!
-Get out of here!
Security! -No!
-Get out! -No, no, no, no!
-Get out of here!
-Oh, no! -Oh, my.
Can -- No -- Try -- Oh, my.
For the love of -- Just help her out.
Thank you very much.
Gertrude.
So sorry you all had to see that.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Gosh!
[ Laughter ]
Well, this is interesting.
I saw that UNESCO has awarded special protected status
to the French baguette.
-Ooh.
-And get this, French President Emmanuel Macron
is in the country for the state dinner,
and he actually asked if he could stop by here
and sing a song about the good news.
So ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
French President Emmanuel Macron.
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
[ Laughter ]
♪ Bonjour ♪
♪ How do you do? ♪
♪ I brought you a baguette pour vous ♪
♪ They're so hard to chew ♪
♪ But they're good with fondue ♪
[ Laughter ]
♪ Can I share one with you ♪
♪ As we stroll down the rue ♪
♪ With my chest hair in view ♪
♪ I use special shampoo ♪
[ Laughter ]
[ Whispers ] Selsun Bleu.
[ Laughter ]
♪ We could go to the zoo ♪
♪ Feed one to a kangaroo ♪
♪ Then use your Roku ♪
♪ To watch "White Lotus" season deux ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪ I got my Spotify review ♪
♪ My top band was U2 ♪
♪ Top song was "Deja Vu" ♪
♪ By Olivia Rodri-goo ♪
[ Laughter ]
♪ Oh, before I forget ♪
♪ We must save the baguette ♪
♪ They're the hottest thing from France ♪
♪ Since Timothee Chalamet ♪
[ Laughter ]
♪ But my flight leaves so soon ♪
♪ I'm in boarding zone deux ♪
♪ I'm flying JetBlue with a layover in Honolulu ♪
[ Laughter ]
♪ But for now, I bid you adieu ♪
♪ Adieu, adieu ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-French President Emmanuel Macron.
He ran away.
He's in the hallway now.
There he is. There he is. There he is.
That's the French President with the Netherlands fan.
And the French President...
Some movie news -- Today, "Top Gun: Maverick"
returned to theaters for a two-week run.
[ Cheers ]
It's like Netflix saying, "You Recently Watched
'Top Gun: Maverick.'
We thought you might be interested in
'Top Gun: Maverick.'"
Some business news, Pepsi just launched a holiday campaign
encouraging people to eat their cookies with pilk,
which is Pepsi mixed with milk.
[ Audience groans ]
Here's the ad they released for it. Look at this.
-Ooh, naughty.
Pepsi and milk.
Pilk.
♪♪
[ Light laughter ]
-Then in response, another company released this ad.
-Ooh, naughty.
Pepsi and milk.
Pilk.
[ Record scratch ] -Coke -- we would never do this.
Ugh!
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-We would never do this.
-Well, I heard that in an effort to compete with Dollar General,
Family Dollar is lowering their prices.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Their prices are so low that they're now changing their name
to Family Crypto.
[ Laughter ]
Finally, tomorrow is the 30th anniversary
of the first text message.
[ Audience oohs ]
And it just said, "Merry Christmas!"
Yeah, that's real.
And the second text --
We got a hold of the second text message
that was sent six years later.
It says...