• From getting hit by a car while trying to impress someone to having your date confess
his love of Satan, the Planet Dolan crew re-enact more of the best true stories from our subreddit
about the most horrifying first date experiences.
I’m Danger Dolan and today I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by daending Gooby On her first date ever Gooby went to the movies
with a guy she liked.
She was really nervous so she suggested they see a kids’ movie.
That way she could bring her little sister along.
As they waited in line to get tickets, Gooby’s date started talking about his friend ‘Bob’.
He kept going on and on about how ‘Bob’ makes him really happy.
Gooby was really confused.
Her date then pulled out a pocket-sized bong and introduced it as ‘Bob’.
Gooby was shocked and tried to keep her sister from seeing it.
The guy kept going on and on about Bob and then had the nerve to ask if Gooby would buy
his snacks and movie ticket!
Gooby ended up dumping him before they even went in to the theatre, but the guy still
came in and sat behind them.
He spent the whole movie annoying Gooby, begging her to take him back.
He kept this up for two whole weeks!
Number 9 was submitted by xRaydBawsx Dolan’s Brother
So My brother met this girl at a party and they decided to go on a date.
While they were out the girl’s roommate sent her a text saying her cat was missing.
The girl was a huge animal lover and showed My brother heaps of pictures of her missing
cat.
She was so distracted that My brother suggested he take her home so she could look for it.
It was dark when they got to her house, but My brother offered to help find her cat.
As they were looking around the neighbourhood My brother was hit by a car!
He ended up in hospital with broken ribs and a sprained arm.
As for the cat?
It was in the closet the whole time.
Number 8 was submitted by DahlFace84 Melissa Melissa had a very awkward first date with
a guy she met on Match.com.
They went out to a restaurant and all night he kept asking her personal questions like
“When do you want to get married?”
“Do you want kids?”
“When you have kids do you want all natural or Caesarian?”
and “Are you going to breast feed your kids?”
Melissa told him she didn’t know and kept eating her food.
At the end of the date, the guy walked her to her car.
Melissa went to shake his hand and he grabbed her boobs and said, “My god!
I can already imagine you feeding our children from these things!”
Melissa swatted his hand away and said “That is never ever going to happen with you!”
And she took off.
Needless to say, there was no second date.
Number 7 was submitted by Xenaphobic Snewpee Snewpee once worked at McDonald’s where
she had a crush on one of the cooks.
They arranged to go on a date, but the plans fell through four times for reasons beyond
their control.
On the fifth try, they both got called in to work so Snewpee suggested they do something
after their shift instead.
After getting stuck in traffic for an hour, they went back to his place to awkwardly watch
a movie with his parents.
Snewpee was starving, as she hadn’t had anything to eat after her shift.
The guy’s parents offered her a Subway footlong, but it was covered in mayonnaise and peppers,
which Snewpee couldn’t eat.
The only thing they had to drink was diet soda, which again Snewpee couldn’t have
because of her allergies.
She’d also forgotten her jacket so she was cold, hungry and uncomfortable all through
the movie!
When it ended the guy asked Snewpee what she wanted to do.
She had no idea, so he said “Okay.
I have a suggestion.
Say yes or no.”
He then typed the word ‘sex’ into his Xbox search bar!
Snewpee shouted “No!” and they ended the date there.
The guy was angry at her – even though it was literally the first time they’d hung
out together outside of work, and they’d never even kissed, and his parents were in
the other room!
He took her home, sulking the whole way, and gave her no goodnight kiss.
Number 6 was submitted by mrfristy Kyle While recovering from a cold, Kyle went on
a date with a girl he liked.
Things were going so well that she leaned in to kiss him.
It was his first kiss so Kyle was pretty nervous, but it went smoothly – that is until they
stopped kissing and Kyle saw one of his boogers stuck to the poor girl’s cheek!
He figured the date would be ruined if he told her so he ignored it.
They later went to McDonald’s for a meal and the booger was still on her face the entire
time.
Nobody told her…
Number 5 was submitted by neverdittanything Andie
One time Andie went on a hot date with a guy.
It went so well that they ended up back at his place.
They went up to his room, closed the door and started having sex.
The guy told Andie he had a roommate, but assured her he wouldn’t bother them.
The sex was great and Andie was getting very carried away.
While she was mid-orgasm, she heard the door to the room suddenly open and close again.
It was the roommate!
When they finished they went downstairs and Andie had to awkwardly meet this person who
had walked in on them.
The roommate said he didn’t see anything and apologised for coming in without knocking.
Apparently he’d heard Andie’s screams of pleasure and thought they were watching
a crazy anime.
Andie was super embarrassed!
Number 4 was submitted by yeet_on_this HoneyBits So HoneyBits met this guy through some friends
of friends.
On their first date, he was a complete gentleman, opening doors for her, pulling out her chair
and paying for their meal.
HoneyBits was so impressed that she agreed to a second date.
On their second date, they went to the mall.
They were getting along great and enjoying their time – until he dropped the bomb that
he believed he could talk to Satan.
He claimed to hear demons in his head who would tell him about all the gruesome ways
he could kill people.
Fearing for her life, HoneyBits immediately shut the relationship down and got with another
guy a few months later.
But her satanic ex wasn’t ready for things to end.
He TRACKED DOWN HoneyBits’ new man and stood at his door in silence.
The cops were called and Crazy Satanist left with just a warning.
HoneyBits blocked him on every media site and hasn’t seen or heard from him since
– which mean he’s still out there!
Number 3 was submitted by CaptainFrosty88 Hellbent
So Hellbent met this girl on a dating website.
They talked for two days straight and seemed to hit it off.
She didn’t have a profile picture, but described herself as attractive.
They lived quite close to each other so arranged to meet at a restaurant called Outback.
Hellbent met her that night – and she wasn’t at all what he was expecting!
She was at least 380 pounds and had two double chins.
Not wanting to seem rude, Hellbent sat down with her and tried to make the best of it.
They started looking at the menus – when Hellbent’s date suddenly pulled out a Big
Mac from her purse!
At that point, Hellbent left and drove away on the spot.
Number 2 was submitted by bob-smd123123 Pringle Pringle once went on a date to a Teppanyaki
restaurant – y’know the places where they cook the food in front of you.
Things were going well and Pringle was doing everything he could to impress this girl,
but unfortunately the guy working the grill was new.
He went to do his little trick of throwing the shrimp into Pringle’s mouth, but the
shrimp ignited mid-toss!
Pringle didn’t catch it, but it landed on his shirt and immediately caught fire.
Pringle started panicking.
He forgot that he was supposed to roll around on the ground and instead ripped off his clothes.
Fortunately he managed to avoid getting permanently scarred, but sadly he didn’t get a second
date.
Number 1 – What’s my horrifying first date experience?
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen your
girlfriend do?
Let us know in the Reddit page linked below and you might be featured in a future countdown.