I had no plans to make it in America.
If you're here because of
why?
Had I known just how wildly popular
trauma was going to be in the context of comedy,
I might've budgeted my shit a bit better.
But I went and put all my trauma eggs
into one basket
like a fucking idiot, and now, here we are.
When I first started touring here,
I was told I should Americanize my language.
To which I responded,
"Fuck off!"
I mean, I've made some concessions for you.
I'm not a monster.
Aluminum?
Why would you say "aluminium,"
when you can flirt it?
"Aluminum."
Stop it, America.
And "y'all"? I'm taking "y'all."
I love "y'all,"
because "y'all"
is the best, most inclusive
second-person plural pronoun
in the English-speaking world!
Thank you, the South.
What an ally.