Tripp Kramer here from
www.trippadvice.com. I wanted to make a
video talking about how to feel
confident and in control when you're
talking to girls. I know a lot of you
guys feel very anxious and feel scared
when you're going up and starting a
conversation with someone that you've
never met before and it happens to a lot
of us and you are not alone. Sounds kind
of crazy, but one of the first steps in
doing this, in terms of feeling in
control, is letting go of the idea of
control all together. What I mean by
this is, when you're going and
you're meeting girls, you gotta really
focus on the journey and the present and
the thing that you're doing in the
moment and not try to control and
manipulate every single thing for you to
get the result that you're looking for. A
lot of us stay really focused on the
outcome, focus really on that end result.
It's great to have goals. Don't get
me wrong, but the more and more you focus
on the outcome, the less you're going to
be focusing on the present moment and
then the more you're going to be
anxious and you're going to be scared.
That's the first step. Next, I want
to teach you my confidence formula and
here's what it is. Confidence is this; it's
competence plus the ability to step into
the unknown. Let's break this down one
by one. First, we have competence, which is
basically the ability to do something.
Confidence, in a whole, it's not something
that you have, which a lot of guys think.
That's the wrong way to think about this.
It's not something you have, it's something
that you do. Confidence is something that
you do. In order to be confident in
literally anything, you have to be doing
it. No one is born confident in any skill.
And yes, meeting girls is a skill. We'll get to
that a little bit later. The idea
here, is that you need to be competent in
order to be confident. It's something
you're going to be practicing and something you're
going to be doing. What do I mean when
I say that meeting girls is a skill?
A lot of guys think that this is
something that we should be born with.
Because you know, people have been
getting
together for thousands of years, as long
as humans have been around, men and women,
men and women, we've
all been getting together with each
other. So why should this be a skill? Well,
it is because we are not born with this
great social ability. In fact, I think
that for thousands of years, we've been
settling. A lot of us have been settling
because we don't practice or hone in on
that skill to meet the woman that we
want. When it comes to competence,
you're going to be going out and you're
going to be meeting girls and it's
something you're going to practice and I
want you to be okay with that. Guys think
it's really weird,
as I thought it was weird for a long time too. It is
kind of funny that we have to go out and
practice meeting girls. But it is one of
the best ways to overcome shyness, to do
confidence and then to be able to
attract the type of woman that you want.
The guys that I know, who have practiced
this stuff and actually put effort into
it, have been able to get into amazing
relationships, have sex with beautiful
women and basically have the pick of
their litter. If that's something
you're interested in, why wouldn't you
focus on building this as a skill
instead of just accepting that you are
who you are and you get what you get.
The next part of this formula, like I
said, confidence is competence plus
the ability to step into the unknown.
The ability to step into the
unknown is actually a skill in itself.
The more and more you step outside your
comfort zone, I'm sure you've heard that
before, right? Success lies outside the
comfort zone. Well the more and more that
you actually step outside of your
comfort zone and do things that scare
you and step into fear, it's going to be
so much easier for you to feel that
confidence, to be able to do that
confidence. It's going to be so much
easier because you're used to doing
things that frighten you and that scare
you. I want to put this into a little
bit more of a practical step for you.
The ability to step into the
unknown; there's many things you can do.
You could do public
speaking, you can do skydiving or
anything that frightens. You could be
doing that. I understand that that's
not something that you can be doing
every single day. You can't just you know
go sky diving every day or do public
speaking everyday. You don't always have
those opportunities, so let's make this
practical for you. What you can do in
this realm of socializing and meeting
women is for the next 30 days, you can
talk to one stranger every single day.
And it's practicing the ability to
step into the unknown because every day
you're going to be going up to a new
person and starting a conversation with
them and that is scary and it's going to
be scary for a while. But what's really
cool is after 30 days, if you do this and
you build this into a habit, after 30
days of talking to one new person every
day, it doesn't matter if it's a guy or a
girl, the next time you see a girl that
you want to talk to, you are going to
feel so much more excited and you're
going to be able to do it just a little
bit easier because you've been
practicing it and you've been competent
in it. What I want you to do is, I want
you to write down below, one thing that
scares you. It doesn't matter if it has
to do with meeting or approaching girls.
But what's one thing that scares you?
I want you to write it down below so we
get a whole list of ideas of what freaks
us out so we can practice this ability
to step into the unknown. That's what
I want from you right down below. Let's
hear from you. Let's get you in the
comments. Press like if this helped you
and this is going to be the first step
for you in building that confidence. Go
ahead and do that I'll see you on the
next video.