Do you have to forgive people who don't even ask for your forgiveness?
Hi.
Welcome to today's Little Lesson.
We've been talking about forgive the last few episodes of Little Lessons.
And today's question, of course, is another one along those lines.
When people offend us, when people sin against us, do we have to forgive them?
And my answer is going to absolutely shock many who are watching this.
But stay around to listen to everything I have to say.
Don't just, you know, shut me off, after, you know, your first misunderstanding of what
I'm really trying to say.
The answer is no, you don't have to forgive people who don't ask forgiveness.
Don't touch that dial, because I'm not done talking yet, okay?
You don't have to forgive them, but you have to love them.
Because that's a commandment, to love everybody.
And you know, think about it, it is possible to love people and not forgive them, because
does that a million times every day.
Right?
God loves everybody.
God loves the whole world, but that doesn't mean he's forgiven them, no.
He's waiting on them to repent, acknowledge their sin, confess it, and so forth.
And then He forgives them.
So God's not expecting more out of us than, you know, that He holds Himself to when it
comes to this forgiveness stuff.
We have to forgive those who ask forgiveness from us.
Those who don't ask forgiveness, we have to love.
And if they are people who are professing Christians, our job is not over despite saying,
"Well, I'm just going to love you."
No, because if you love them, you'll do what's best for them, and that is, you'll do what
Jesus said to do if your brother or sister sins against you.
You will go to that person to try to repair the breach in your relationship by confronting
them about their sin.
And you will say, as a loving person will say, "I have to come to you because I value
our relationship so much, and I don't want to have bad feelings against you.
When I see you I don't want to, you know, have anything bad come into my mind.
You may not even realize what you did, but there's something that you did that has caused
a breach in our relationship.
And I'd like to talk about that, to see if we can reach an understanding."
Many times, those folks will say, "Oh, I didn't even realize it."
They'll be totally ignorant, totally blind to their offense.
And once you tell them, they'll just immediately say, "Oh, forgive me.
I'm so sorry."
You know, and what will you do then?
Oh, you better forgive them then.
Because if you don't, you're in big, big trouble.
God won't forgive you of any of your sins from then on.
If they don't listen to you, Jesus said, "Of course, get a couple folks to come and help
you."
And if those are smart folks, they're going to listen to both sides.
I've talked about this before on Little Lessons, right?
Okay.
So, if they listen to you, if you're right, and your friends agree with you, who've come
to help you reconcile.
Then if that person who offends you realizes it, and admits it then, well, and asks your
forgiveness what do you need to do?
You better, better, better, better, better forgive.
Okay?
But look, obviously you don't have to forgive them if they don't confess it, because you
take them to the next step, which is a step that indicates that reconciliation, restoration,
has not occurred yet.
You take them in front of the church.
Now, in New Testament context, a little tiny house church, okay?
So in the modern context, you take them in front of your Bible study, or some small group
of people.
And confront the person then.
And if they realize it then, and confess it, what do you have to do?
You have to forgive them.
But if they don't confess it, do you have to forgive?
Obviously not, because Jesus said you can then treat them as a tax collector, or as,
you know, as a gentile.
They're out of the church.
And you still love them, you pray for them.
You hope that they'll come to their senses, and you know, admit they're wrong.
But you don't have to forgive.
True forgiveness will always result in some semblance of reconciliation, and, you know,
you can't forgive people who don't even want forgive, who ask for forgiveness.
And that is the pattern that we find in scripture.
Not only exemplified by how the Lord deals with people, but I the teachings of Christ.
In Luke chapter 17, I think it's right around verse number two or three, Jesus said, "If
your brother sins, rebuke him.
And if he repents, if, if, if he repents, forgive him."
So, there it is.
And in that, you know, parable that Jesus told about the importance of forgive, or the
parable of the unforgiving servant who owed his master this immense amount of money he
could never repay.
And he begged for mercy, and his master forgave him of this, you know, incredible huge debt.
And then he went out and found a fellow slave who owed him a few days wages, and said, "Repay
me."
And he said, "I beg for mercy, I will repay you."
He said, "No, I'm not having any mercy on you."
And he had him thrown into the prison.
And when his master heard what he had down to his fellow slave, and he said, "Hey, I
forgave you of all that debt, shouldn't you have forgiven your fellow servant of all of
his debt?"
And so he was cast into prison until he should repay his debt.
A great example of what happens to us when we don't forgive.
God reinstates, you know, our former guilt, which he had forgiven, and we're in big trouble.
But notice, even in that parable of the unforgiven servant, in every case, the people who got
forgiven asked for forgiveness.
The people who should have been asked for forgiveness.
That's the starting place.
That's the component.
And that's why you go to your brother privately, who sinned against you, to evoke a confession.
That can start the wheels of forgiveness going on.
Okay?
And so, when people say, "Well, I've forgiven them, but I'm not going to talk to them."
You're only fooling yourself.
You haven't forgiven them at all.
You're still harboring a grudge.
And if you truly did love that person and value the relationship you would be going
to them to make it right.
Just like in a marriage, you know, if you're like, "Hey, til death do us part."
And so no sense letting this thing drag on for years.
Let's just confront it right now, and have some communication here.
Because we value this relationship, we don't both want to live in tension.
And so we get together and we talk.
And if somebody needs to ask forgiveness, you bring them to that point where they ask
for forgiveness.
Okay?
Alright.
So, do you have to forgive everybody who sins against you?
No.
You have to love them, and you have to go to them to try to evoke a confession in order
to participate forgiveness and reconciliation.
More to be said on this.
This is a Little Lesson.
If you go to DavidServant.com, and type in unforgiveness, or forgiveness, you probably,
or unforgiveness, I'm sure you'd find some stuff there, some eTeachings that I've done
over the years that go into greater detail, and offer even more scriptural proof for my
premise, and my thesis.
Okay.
Thanks for joining me.
God bless you.