[ APPLAUSE ]
>>> GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE.
WELCOME TO THE PROGRAM.
IM MEGYN KELLY.
THIS WEEK, WE HAVE BEEN SHARING
STORIES ABOUT"DATING, LOVE &
SEX."
AND WE WILL BE TALKING ABOUT THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL, CHEATING. THE
ULTIMATE BETRAYAL, CHEATING. THERES ALL KINDS OF NEW WAYS TO
CHEAT.
HAVE YOU HEARD OF MICROCHEATING?
WERE GOING TO GET TO THAT
LATER.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN THE VICTIM OF
CHEATING, CAN YOU TAKE THAT PAIN
AND BECOME A STRONGER, BETTER PERSON?OME A STRONGER, BETTER
PERSON?
THAT IS WHERE WE BEGIN, WITH THE STORY OF JEN WEIGHT.IN, WITH THE
STORY OF JEN WEIGHT. DAYS AFTER JEN DELIVERED HER
DAUGHTER, SHE LEARNED THAT HER
SEEMINGLY PERFECT HUSBAND WAS
LEADING A DOUBLE-LIFE.
>> WHEN I WAS 25, LIVING IN
NEW YORK, I WAS WORKING AT A RESTAURANT. WAS WORKING AT A
RESTAURANT.
AND ONE OF THE BARTENDERS, I JUST REMEMBER ONE NIGHT WE WERE
BOTH WORKING THERE, HE LOOKED AT
ME AND JUST SAID MY NAME.
AND IT WAS LIKE A TRACTOR BEAM.
FROM THAT NIGHT ON, I HAD
BUTTERFLIES EVERY TIME I SAW HIM
AND REALLY FELT THAT I WAS IN
LOVE, ALMOST IMMEDIATELY.
HE ALSO HAD BEEN LIVING IN
NEW YORK ILLEGALLY, KIND OF A
BIG PART OF THE STORY.
WE GOT MARRIED AND HE WAS ABLE
TO GET HIS GREEN CARD.
I WAS HELPING THE LOVE OF MY
LIFE FULFILL HIS DREAMS.
AND HE COULD FINALLY TRAVEL. HE COULD FINALLY GO HOME.EL.
HE COULD FINALLY GO HOME. I GOT PREGNANT SHORTLY AFTER
THAT AND GAVE BIRTH, THINKING
THAT I MARRIED THE LOVE OF MY
LIFE.
LIFE.
I FELT KIND OF COCKY LIKE, I GOT
EVERYTHING.
AND ABOUT THREE WEEKS AFTER SHE
WAS BORN, IT WAS THE FIRST TIME
THAT I WAS OPENING MY COMPUTER.
MY HUSBANDS E-MAIL WAS ON THE SCREEN.ANDS E-MAIL WAS ON THE
SCREEN.
AND I COULD SEE THAT THE SUBJECT
WAS, APARTMENTS.
JUST ONE LINE.
AND IT SAID, THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME LAST WEEK.ANK YOU FOR YOUR
TIME LAST WEEK. BUT MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE
DECIDED TO GO WITH ANOTHER
APARTMENT.
APARTMENT.
AND I LAUGHED, LIKE, I ACTUALLY REMEMBER LAUGHING AT THE TIME.Y
REMEMBER LAUGHING AT THE TIME. IN MY HEAD THINKING, WHY IS HE
CALLING ME HIS GIRLFRIEND.
THATS WEIRD.
IM HIS WIFE.
AT THE SAME TIME, I FELT REALLY
SICK. I BASICALLY WENT DOWN THIS
RABBIT HOLE OF FIGURING OUT WHAT
WAS REAL, WHAT WASNT REAL, WHO
WAS HE?
WAS HE?
AND IT WAS A FEW MONTHS OF DISCOVERING LIE AFTER LIE.
EVENTUALLY, I LEFT.
MY PARENTS PRETTY MUCH SAID,
YOURE COMING HOME WITH US WITH,
YOU KNOW, MY BABY.
AND WE ALL AT THE SAME TIME GOT
TEXT MESSAGES FROM MY HUSBAND,
SAYING I AM GOING TO END MY
LIFE.
LIFE.
>> JEN JOINS ME NOW. SHE IS THE AUTHOR OF "A
BEAUTIFUL TERRIBLE THING."
A MEMOIR OF MARRIAGE AND
BETRAYAL
BETRAYAL BETRAYAL.
BETRAYAL. JEN, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
THANK YOU FOR COMING.
>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
>> THIS IS INCREDIBLY RAW,
INCREDIBLY REVEALING.
INCREDIBLY REVEALING. ONE THING THAT JUMPS OUT IS HOW
CHARMING HE WAS WHEN YOU GOT
TOGETHER.
TOGETHER.
IT WAS LIKE A LOVE BOMB. >> YES.LIKE A LOVE BOMB.
>> YES.
HE WAS INCREDIBLY CHARMING.
THATS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS I
THINK OF WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE
START OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.
IT WAS CONSTANT ATTENTION,
CONSTANT FLATTERY. ITS CALLED LOVE BOMBING.
JUST A CONSTANT DOSING OF THAT,
PRAISE, ALL THE TIME.
AND JUST SO CHARMING.
IT FELT LIKE, TO ME, YOU KNOW,
MAYBE AS CLICHE AS IT SOUNDS,
THAT I WAS LIVING THE ROMANTIC
COMEDY, FAIRY TALE ROMANCE.
AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, THIS IS
WHAT LOVE FEELS LIKE.
>> YOU DATED HIM FOR THREE YEARS
BEFORE YOU GOT MARRIED.
>> WE DATED FOR ABOUT TWO YEARS
BEFORE WE HAD OUR SITCITY HALL
WEDDING SO HE COULD START HIS
GREEN CARD APPLICATION.
AND WE HAD A BIGGER WEDDING IN
MAINE.
MAINE.
>> IT WASNT OVERNIGHT.
THE FIRST CLUE YOU HAD WAS THAT
E-MAIL, RIGHT AFTER YOU GAVE
BIRTH TO YOUR CHILD. >> YEP.O YOUR CHILD.
>> YEP.
>> AND TELL THE AUDIENCE WHAT HE
SAID TO YOU WHEN YOU CONFRONTED
HIM ABOUT THE E-MAIL AND THE GIRLFRIEND AND APARTMENT THE
GIRLFRIEND AND APARTMENT SHOPPING.
SHOPPING.
>> I CALLED HIM IMMEDIATELY AT
WORK AND CONFRONTED HIM.
WHAT IS THIS? SOMETHING IS WRONG.
AND HE JUST HAD THE MOST GENUINE
RESPONSE.
RESPONSE.
IT WAS LAUGHTER.
OH, BABY, YOURE GOING TO THINK
THIS IS XRAZCRAZY, SO SILLY. AND HIS EXPLANATION WAS VERY
CONVINCING.
CONVINCING.
THAT A YOUNG CO-WORKER HAD NEEDED HIS HELP GETTING AN
APARTMENT.
APARTMENT.
THAT NO ONE WOULD TAKE HER SERIOUSLY.E WOULD TAKE HER
SERIOUSLY.
SO, SHE CRIED IN HIS OFFICE AND BEGGED HIM TO CALL THE BROKERND
BEGGED HIM TO CALL THE BROKER AND SAY IM THIS PERSONS
BOYFRIEND, CAN YOU SHOW HER
APARTMENTS?
APARTMENTS?
>> AND YOU TRUST HIM AT THIS
POINT, SO YOURE EITHER BUYING
IT OR WANTING TO BUY IT.
>> EXACTLY.
IT WAS -- HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND. SOMEONE THAT I LOVED, SOMEONEND.
SOMEONE THAT I LOVED, SOMEONE THAT I DID TRUST.
I BELIEVED HIM.
AND HE CAME HOME AND I SAID,
THIS, STILL, WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT
THIS, ITS VERY INAPPROPRIATE.
AND HE SAID, WELL, YOU KNOW,
THAT E-MAIL WAS NOT A BIG DEAL.
BUT THE BIGGER DEAL -- AND
EVERYTHING CHANGED.
EVERYTHING CHANGED. HIS EYES CHANGED, HIS BODY
LANGUAGE CHANGED.
LANGUAGE CHANGED. EVERYTHING CHANGED.
EVERYTHING CHANGED. THERE WAS NOTHING BEHIND HIS
EYES AND HE SAID, THE BIGGER
PROBLEM IS THAT IM SICK.
IM VERY SICK AND I HAVE BEEN
SICK FOR YOUR ENTIRE PREGNANCY
BUT I HAVENT TOLD YOU BECAUSE I
DIDNT WANT TO STRESS YOU OUT.
AND I HAVENT BEEN TO A DOCTOR, I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITHR,
I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME.
ME.
THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. I IMMEDIATELY WENT FROM BEINGE.
I IMMEDIATELY WENT FROM BEING ANGRY AND MAD TO WANTING TO
FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS WRONG WITH
MY PARTNER, MY HUSBAND, WHICH
WAS QUITE BRILLIANT ON HIS PART
BECAUSE IT COMPLETELY CHANGED
THE NARRATIVE.
THE NARRATIVE. >> IT MADE HIM THE VICTIM.
>> EXACTLY.
>> EXACTLY. >> HE TOLD YOU HE HAD NO
FEELINGS FOR YOU.
>> HE SAID, IM LOOKING AT YOU
RIGHT NOW AND I FEEL NOTHING.
IT WAS THIS PANIC AND DREAD.
AND I THINK I WAS ALSO HAVING
ANXIETY FROM BEING A NEW MOM.
MY BABY WAS ABOUT 3 WEEKS OLD AT
THAT POINT.
THAT POINT. I REMEMBER STANDING THERE AND
TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.
JUST FEELING PANICKED AND
FEELING LIKE I HAVE TO HELP.
I HAVE TO HELP MY HUSBAND.
>> HE BEGAN INSULTING YOU, YOUR
APPEARANCE, YOUR GROOMING, AS WE
SAY, WHICH DOESNT TEND TO BE
PERFECT WHEN YOUVE JUST GIVEN
BIRTH TO A BABY.
AND YOU WERE IN DENIAL, I THINK
ITS SAFE TO SAY, FROM READING
YOUR STORY.
YOUR STORY.
BUT THESE THINGS HAVE A WAY OF MAKING YOU BELIEVE.VE A WAY OF
MAKING YOU BELIEVE. SO, YOU DO SOME INVESTIGATION.
AND YOU FIND FIRST THAT HES
BEEN TAKING TRIPS TO THIS OTHER
WOMANS HOUSE IN BROOKLYN.
THAT HES BEEN MAKING CALLS TO
THIS OTHER WOMAN, THE SAME
WOMAN.
WOMAN.
AND ULTIMATELY, YOU CALLED THE BROKER, WHO HAD ACTUALLY TAKEN
THEM THROUGH THE APARTMENT.
>> YES.
>> YES.
>> AND THAT PERSON HAD MERCY ON YOU.ND THAT PERSON HAD MERCY ON
YOU.
>> YES, YES.
I WAS EXTREMELY SURPRISED. I E-MAILED HIM, BASICALLY,
BECAUSE I REMEMBERED HIS NAME,
THAT E-MAIL WAS SEARED INTO MY
MIND.
MIND.
I E-MAILED HIM AND TOLD HIM THE STORY AND ATTACHED SOME PICTURES
OF ME AND MY EX-HUSBAND.
AND HE CALLED ABOUT TEN MINUTES
LATER.
LATER.
AND IT WAS SHOCKING. YOU KNOW, NEW YORK BROKER.
I DIDNT EXPECT TO EVER HEAR
FROM HIM.
FROM HIM.
I DIDNT THINK HE WOULD WANT TO
GET TANGLED UP IN THAT.
SO, HE SAID, YES, I SHOWED YOUR HUSBAND AND HIS GIRLFRIEND.YOUR
HUSBAND AND HIS GIRLFRIEND. THEY WERE AFFECTIONATE, HAPPY
COUPLE, A COUPLE OF APARTMENTS.
AND SO, AT THAT POINT, I KNEW
BEFORE THEN.
BEFORE THEN.
BUT AT THAT POINT, I REALLY DID
HAVE TO ACCEPT, OKAY.
YOU KNOW, MY HUSBAND IS NOT WHO I THOUGHT HE WAS.AND IS NOT WHO
I THOUGHT HE WAS. MY WHOLE LIFE WITH HIM IS NOT
WHAT I THOUGHT IT WAS.
>> YOU ULTIMATELY FOUND OUT THAT
SHE, OF COURSE, WAS NOT THE ONLY
ONE.
ONE. THAT THERE WERE MULTIPLE WOMEN.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> AND I KNOW YOU FEEL, RIGHT
NOW, LIKE THIS WAS A PREDATOR
THAT YOU WERE MARRIED TO. >> ABSOLUTELY.MARRIED TO.
>> ABSOLUTELY. >> AND I KNOW YOU USED THE WORD
SOCIOPATH.
SOCIOPATH.
YOU BELIEVE THAT ABOUT HIM.
THATS A CLINICAL TERM.
ACTUALLY, SHE REFERS TO HIM AS
MARCO IN THE BOOK.
THATS NOT HIS REAL NAME.
WE CALLED IN A DOCTOR WHO CAN HELP US UNDERSTAND THIS.O CAN
HELP US UNDERSTAND THIS. WITH US IS DR. RAMANI.
HELP US UNDERSTAND.
HE WAS CHARMING, HAD NO REMORSE
FOR WHAT HE DID.
LIED THAT HE WAS POETIC IN THE
WAY HE WOULD COMPLIMENT HER AND
WAS INCAPABLE OF A SINCERE
APOLOGY.
APOLOGY.
>> TEXTBOOK. TEXTBOOK.OK.
TEXTBOOK.
AND ITS SO PAINFUL TO HEAR BECAUSE YOU HAD ENOUGH GOOD
STUFF TO WORK WITH THAT YOU KNIT
TOGETHER A STORY THAT YOU COULD
RATIONALIZE.
RATIONALIZE. I DONT WANT TO SAY YOU WERE IN
DENIAL BECAUSE WHAT FELT REAL
FELT REAL.
FELT REAL.
AND LITTLE BY LITTLE, WHEN THE BAD STUFF COMES IN, ITS EASY TO
TALK YOURSELF OUT OF IT.
THAT PATTERN OF BEING CHARMING,
LYING, MANIPULATING, CHEATING,
GASLIGHTING, WHEN HE WAS
MANIPULATING YOUR REALITY AND
SAYING, I HAVE NO FEELING FOR
YOU, THAT DOES FALL UNDER
SOCIOPATH.
SOCIOPATH.
>> YOU CAME BACK TO HIM AND SAID, I HAVE THIS, I HAVE THIS.
AND YOU FELT ON AN INHERENT
LEVEL, THERES SOMETHING WRONG
WITH HIM IF HES GOING TO THIS
LEVEL TO LIE ABOUT IT.
BUT THERES A LOT OF MEN OUT
THERE WHO CHEAT AND WOMEN OUT
THERE WHO CHEAT, WHO WILL LIE
WHEN CONFRONTED.
WHEN CONFRONTED. >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> HOW DO YOU KNOW THE
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN, MY HUSBAND
HAS CHEATED, MY WIFE HAS CHEATED
AND I AM MARRIED TO A SOCIOPATH?
>> FIRST OF ALL, YOU HAVE TO
TRUST YOURSELF.
TRUST YOURSELF. WHEN THE DOTS DONT CONNECT,
THEY DONT CONNECT.
AND WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF
TELLING A STORY OVER IT, YOURE
PROBABLY TELLING THE WRONG
STORY.
STORY.
I HATE TO SAY THAT.
WHATS TOUGH WITH A SOCIOPATH IS
THEYRE SO GOOD AT LYING.
WHEN THE REST OF US LIE, YOU CAN TELL.THE REST OF US LIE, YOU CAN
TELL.
OUR EYES GET WIDE AND WERE A
LITTLE JITTERY. BUT WHEN A SOCIOPATH LIES,
THEYRE SO CALM.
AND IN FACT, YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR
HAVING ACCUSED THEM.
YOU WANT -- THATS THE MOST
DANGEROUS PART OF THIS KIND OF A
STORY.
STORY. THEYRE EXPERT LIARS.
THATS WHERE YOU HAVE TO TRUST
YOUR GUT AND SAY, THIS DOESNT
FEEL RIGHT.
FEEL RIGHT. THAT BROKER WAS AN ANGEL.
>> HE WAS AN ANGEL.
>> EVERYONE HAD SOMEONE LIKE
THAT.
THAT.
>> I READ THE BOOK, I WANTED TO STAND AND CHEER FOR THE BROKER.
JUST MERCY.
JUST MERCY. JUST MERCY.
JUST MERCY. >> I CRIED.
>> SO MANY PEOPLE WOULD SAY, I
AM NOT GOING TO GET INVOLVED.
BUT HE HELPED YOU.
I KNOW YOU FEEL CONNED THAT HE
MIRRORED YOU, HE DID THE THINGS
THAT THESE KIND OF MEN DO TO
REEL YOU IN.
AND WASNT FAITHFUL.
AT THE END OF IT ALL, DOES HE
HAVE ANY PRESENCE IN YOUR LIFE?
YOU ARE DIVORCED?
WHATS YOUR TAKE AWAY?
>> WE HAD NO CONTACT FOR ABOUT
THREE YEARS.
THREE YEARS. SIX MONTHS OUT FROM WHEN I FOUND
OUT, WE HAD NO CONTACT.
AND WHEN THE BROKER CALLED, I
REALLY CRIED TEARS OF JOY.
I WAS JUST SO HAPPY TO FINALLY
KNOW THE TRUTH AND START
REBUILDING MY REALITY.
AND THIS EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN,
FOR ME, ALMOST LIKE A REBIRTH.
REBUILDING MY SENSE OF SELF.
MY SELF-WORTH, MY BOUNDARIES.
ALL OF THESE THINGS THAT SOMEHOW
I LOST ALONG THE WAY THAT A LOT
OF US DO, FOR A MILLION AND ONE
REASONS, THROUGH ADOLESCENCE OR
PUBERTY.
PUBERTY.
WE BEGIN TO HAVE FALSE BELIEFS OR COPING MECHANISMS.E BELIEFS
OR COPING MECHANISMS. AND THEY SERVE US POTENTIALLY.
AND THEY NO LONGER SERVE US.
THIS EXPERIENCE ALLOWED ME TO
COMPLETELY KIND OF SHAKE THOSE
AWAY.
AWAY.
THEY CRUMBLED. IT WAS TERRIFYING.
BUT I WAS ABLE TO REBUILD
EVERYTHING FROM THE GROUND-UP,
BASED ON EMPIRICAL DATA, TRUTH I
BELIEVE IN.
BELIEVE IN.
I CANT SAY I REGRET IT BECAUSE IT REALLY ENDED UP BEING AAUSE
IT REALLY ENDED UP BEING A TRANSFORMATIVE EXPERIENCE FOR
ME.
ME.
>> AND SHINED THE LIGHT ON WHAT
WAS REAL.
>> EXACTLY.
>> AND WHAT WASNT.
I UNDERSTAND HE DOESNT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOURAVE
ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DAUGHTER NOW?
DAUGHTER NOW?
>> NO. >> THAT MAY BE A BLESSING.
>> THAT IS SUCH A BLESSING.
I RECEIVE HUNDREDS OF MESSAGES
FROM WOMEN WHO ARE CO-PARENTING
WITH SIMILAR PERSONALITY TYPES.
AND I COUNT MYSELF VERY LUCKY
THAT HE VANISHED.
>> I LOVE TO READ ABOUT HOW
SUPPORTIVE YOUR PARENTS WERE.
AND GOD BLESS THEM, TOO, FOR THE
LOVE THEY GAVE YOU.
JEN, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR TELLING YOUR STORY.YOU FOR TELLING YOUR
STORY. [ APPLAUSE ]
WE DID REACH OUT TO MARCO FOR