This looks like it's a little less douchey.
I'm more a little less
Little a little more a little more handed to do doable oh
Yeah, nope that ain't right, okay
Nope, okay walk nope walk
Walk... There we go, okay. I see I see
and then jump
uh-huh jump jump easy peasy lemon...
squeeze me. Jump-jum-- AAaaah!
Almost had that one almost had that one almost had that..
See? Like I said, easy 'pease me... Easy..
Oh whoopsies whoopsies
Almost had that. I know I had beginner's luck on that first run, though
And I won't I won't get that I won't get that distance again. I almost had it
Easy 'pease me
Easy.. ooookay..
See? It's like beginner's luck and then luck runs out.
Why-- where's my double jump?
Where's my double jump!? Where's my double jump?!
Wait Ohhh because ohhh, I see I'm falling off first
Which I'm trying not to do, but because I'm so close to the edge
It's like I'm falling first, which I shouldn't do. Got it, got it, got it
Ah see even then I fell I get it I get it. It's not the game being broken
It's a little the game being broken, but it's also me. How did I do so good that first run?
Hello friend, okay?
Oaaawww oow ow ow ow ow
Hey! Ho! Hah! HAH!
*Surprised sounds of a 'peased player*
I'm gonna get through this game. I'm gonna get through this game. Oh, you know. I'm again.
I'm not gonna get through this game
Whoops... Wrong button
Ohhhh You scared me oh okay, that's an area
Scary
Whoa that's how'd- do you beat that?!
*whoops compliation x6*
Whoops. Yeah. How do you how do you I'm-I'm confused a bit. Yeah, how do youuuu
You guys got a go for it like as fast as you can no stop be stop
Yeah, oh, man. How would I thi-- I don't think I can jump fast enough?
Wait a minute ami mi mah mo mo think of that. Maybe this is a little bullshit me me me me mo mo mo
meme momo
memeeeeyyy momohmohhh
Me mo think maybe this is just a little bit bullshit
Just barely get on the ledge you say oh
I can just barely do a lot of things like function as a human eat my meals completely follow a nutritional guide
Run a YouTube channel trust me. I can barely do a lot of things
No one as gets comes to doing it completely
Whelp.
Whelp..
Whelp... some absurd levels of precision. It's demanding of man. I don't like it. I only got I've only got
Disappointing levels of precision not not extreme not absurd
my levels of precision are precipitous at best the margin for error is just a little too tight
I see it does go slow enough that I could do that action. Oh well I gotta get on there first whelp... oh boy
Watch this shit watch this shit
Nope, well, I am sucking Wow
Okay
Nah, I can't even get there anymore. I've lost the abi- aahh frick...
I've lost the ability to get there Oh
Oh hell yeah, ah
You tit sprinkle bag. God dammit. God dammit. God damn you. Just damn you thah' hell
Whoa okay? How how what I?
Can't there's no way
Th- there's just no way
There's no way there's no waaayyy
Okay there was away ah I don't like you
What's that red up there what's that red, it looks like the only way I could go, but I don't like it
I don't like it... Wooh woo.. Woo- What has that do? Nothing? Great
Uuuuuuhhhhh
Oh noooo
Noooo
No I refuse! I refooooooo--uuuuse! Ayh refooozeee!!!
I didn't trust it I didn't want to trust it. I really didn't want to trust it
Alright oh
You titty sack. Oh you sack of tits. Oh you big anime boob
Oooh you big swingin' anime boob
Oooh You poopy pants mother humper. God...
I keep I keep failing before I even have a chance to be bad. I'm just pretty bad failing
Uuhh.. I got this
Yes
Okay, how's this gonna fuck me? How's this gonna broke me? I can't--
Wait. No. There's no way that.. That is impossible
There's no way
Right, I'm not a big dumb idiot. I mean I am, but there's no way and the button is there
But I don't trust that button
*clicking surprise*
Aaaa...
Nooooooooo
*Markigull*
A-ha-hah-ha-ha-hah you deeehehhee-iiiccckkk
You diiickkk you diiicckkk go to hell go to hell
Oh you dick you dick I had that!
You dick you dick
Ouuww my god big swinging dick
big swinging animay dick Oh
long ago with your big swinging anime boobs ah
You
dillweed
You dick hole
I've got I haven't got enough dick related names to call you. Aww you sack of poo
Okay, how do I?
You dick. The dickettry, the dickettry
This sheer magnitude of their dickettry is beyond anything I could comprehend
the girth the girth the girth the sheer unadulterated
girth on that dickettry! ah
*sigh* All right here we go
How what?
Excuse me
What the frick am I... Oo-oh?
Ah that's that's peculiar... Aaaa
Okay, so I can jump again in that?
Okay, alright I got it. Well it's not really gonna help me cuz I'm still gonna-- still gonna fail
but you know it is what it is. Urrhh.. Howww...
Wait a minute wait a minute wait whoa whoa how would I?
What I what is it gonna
give me another jump after I get out of there or something cuz I would have to have another jump like I
would have to have another jump there's
Maybe maybe if I don't jump out of if I just fall out
But then I wouldn't have enough.. Would I?
Ohhh It does give me another jump, but even that is gonna--
Oh wait, is that a button?
Wait a minute Oh
How am I.. Oh good golly. Okay, alright. Okay that that's a button right?
Okay
So I just gotta shoot that
I've gotta shoot that right
That's that's the only way through this right. I've got to be able to shoot that so if I shoot that oh
Oh tha--! that does help that does help good god
Okay all right
Aiiiyyy
Aiiiyyy, I don't like this
It's coordinated action that I I don't I don't have that coordination
And what if I just like get used to shooting these at the same time how about that? I think that's gonna help me
Probably not okay. Yeah, you're probably right. Oh boy
almost almost
So I just got to do these at the same time
Yes, yes, I hate this. This is awful. I know I don't want to oh
God, I don't want to do that
That is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life
That is the worst thing I've ever seen
Okay I
I don't like this how in the hell... Oh boy....
Okayyy!
Wha--?
I don't trust that fruit
Okay.. AAAaaahh!! Noo-ohhohhohh
No
You dill weed and a half
Oh you dill weed. Oh you dill weed
Ah
shit
Okay, getting better day by day. Just gotta take it day.. ah shit
eh shit ehh shit
Turning to an old man playing this game
very easy to do lose sight of your youth and just fall into the
ever-loving trap of dickettry death by fruit
You tit you nipply nip you nipply nip
You nip tastic nipple. Oh, oh really oh really. Oh really new ways to die oh
I didn't go far enough back ah
God at last it is what we have and we have what it is
Which is stupid and and dumb, but it's ours so we love it. Just the same
Okay eeuuh. Okay, wait a minute wait wait. Whoa wait whoa wait then uh..
Aaaaaa...hah-ha... nooo....
I was so close to the save
Was so close oh no
Okay, the dickettryy! I know I know the dickettry. It's bad, everybody. It's bad
Okay
So I just gotta treat this as if there's nothing wrong
Haha
Oh that feels good oh that feels good oh that feels good! Alright. Oh that feels good.
That feels reawwl goowd. Oh, there's a lot of butt clenches coming out here
Oh you better believe my chair is halfway up my own ass right now. I am so clenched. I am so unbelievably clenched
Oh that feels good. Okay. Now. How can I ruin it? How can I ruin it?
How can I ruin this who's gonna ruin this for oh? Well that's not good? Oh?
Oh-oh.. Ooh mini-boss. I see okay. Ooooh, I win
All right, I don't like this. Whelp.. I didn't like it enough just to slam my face into the stupid
Okay
Mmm
Yes, okay, don't. dick me. over. What do you doin'? What are you gonna--...
Nooooooooo
AAaaarrrhhh
How do you explain yourself
How do you explain yourself you can't you can't
you're just douche straight to the point you're douuuvvv'che
Oh my god. I'm never gonna be able to do this not in a million years
Not in a million yillion yillion years not in a yillion years not in a yeettt yillion years. Oh
My goodness gravy. I'm.. deeeaad
Why can't the shoot button not be next to the jump button why couldn't it be?
Anywhere else on this stupid keyboard of mine oh?
Wh-hah-ahha-ha I hate you
I hayyy-te you I hate you
I hate you uh-uh no never gonna be able to get it never never gonna be able to get it never never in a
Million years when do you guys see me ever gonna be able to get this I am never
Gonna be able to get this are you gonna? Do huh?
What can I what do I do oh?
Oo-ohhhhhhhh
I seeeeeee
Aaaaahh I see.... I see now with my aaaaaahhhh
oh whoups
Come on, but I saw I thought the save would count Oh
shitty dicks
That's an illusion. It's all an illusion. It's all a farce. Oh, it's a farce
It's a farce. I had that I lost it the easy part. I actually make my jump, and then I just don't get it
Ah, that's so like me that's such a Markiplier move. Oh
God the save just doesn't count of course. It doesn't okay, so the save doesn't count, but I'm doing it anyway
Just cuz it feels good
Yes, Oh, Oh baby, baby, baby