- So how do you know if the guy
that you're seeing is in love with you,
how he feels about you, if he's super into you
or if he's just kinda eh?
Well, there's one place that you can look
that gives you unmistakable signs,
and that is how he's behaving.
So today, I'm gonna share with you five things
that your man does when he's in love with you.
Check it out.
(bright music)
Hey, there, this is Mat Bogs,
the founder of the Love and Relationship division
of the Brave Thinking Institute,
where our mission is empowering people
to create and live a life they love,
and that includes your love life.
So if you like this video,
go ahead and hit the subscribe button
and the little bell, so you get notifications
because every week we bring you fresh videos
to empower you and your love life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson has a great quote where he says,
"Who you are speaks so loudly,
I can't hear what you're saying,"
and that's completely true because words are lip service.
What really matters is how you're being,
how you're showing up, how you're acting.
That shows what you prioritize, what you're interested in,
what matters to you and how you feel about someone.
Number one is he sticks through the stressful times.
This man who loves you is not gonna run
when things get tough.
He's not gonna run when things get hard,
or scary, or stressful.
Someone who's only in a relationship
when it's fun and it's easy,
that's a relationship of convenience.
That's just, how is it benefiting him?
But sticking by your side when you're facing a diagnosis,
or you're having a family challenge,
or you're having a work challenge,
or you're just having a tough day,
and a guy who's willing to support you
and be by your side during those stressful times,
or a man who's willing to be with you
when there's arguments and conflicts.
I heard once this saying that says,
"When you stop fighting in a relationship,
that's when you get nervous,"
and I thought, why is that?
And as we unpacked this, it was because
when you're fighting in a relationship,
that's actually a good sign.
That means you're both invested. That means you both care.
You both are willing to put in energy to work things out.
But when somebody runs or they're not willing to fight,
in other words, they just walk away,
that's when you should get nervous about that relationship
because that person doesn't even care enough
to try to work things out.
So the man who loves you is willing
to see things through the stressful times
so that you can arrive at the better times.
Number two, a demonstration of love
is keeping your promises.
Does he call when he says he's gonna call?
Does he show up on time when he says he's gonna show up?
Does he follow through on his word?
Dr. Pat Allen puts it this way,
"The only way we really know that we love each other is
by the agreements we're willing to both make and keep."
And so that extends beyond
just romantic relationships, doesn't it?
That extends to friendships,
family relationships, parenting relationships.
I made my daughter a promise a few weeks ago
then I was like, "Why did I promise her this?"
We were on a vacation and we were swimming,
and they had this community pool,
and the community pool was cold, man.
It was like 68 degrees.
And my daughter, she's six years old,
she wanted to go swimming.
And she's like, "Dad, let's go swimming in the pool,"
and I went and felt it,
and I was like, "Whoo, honey, this water is cold.
We probably don't wanna swim in this water."
She's like, "I wanna swim in this water."
I'm like, "Oh really?
All right, if you swim in this water,
if you get in and get all the way in,
get your head in, then I'll get in."
And I get back in the hot tub.
My wife and I are chilling in the hot tub
with our other two kids.
My daughter starts walking down the steps
and she gets up to her calves
and I'm like, "Oh, she gets to her thighs, she's done.
There's no way."
And she gets up to her knees and I'm like, "Uh oh,"
and she gets down to her thighs.
She's like, "Dad, I'm getting in."
I'm like, "You're not getting in that water,"
and she jumps in and starts swimming around
and she's breathing hard. (panting)
You know how it is when you're in cold water?
And then she dunks her head under
and she's like, "Okay, Dad, your turn,"
and I'm like, "Oh my gosh, why did I promise her this?"
But I made a promise and I'm a man of my word.
And so I walked over there and I jumped in that cold water
and we swam around and had a great time,
and eventually the water, you get used to the water.
Eventually it started to feel good,
but I was so glad that we in our family have a practice
of honoring our agreements
because that is one of the main forms of love.
Now, was that water uncomfortable? Yes.
Was it a struggle to get in? Yes.
But I'm really glad that I kept my word
because that's a form of love.
So with your man, does he keep his word
when it's easy and also when it's tough?
Number three is that he offers you his trust.
When he gives you his trust
and when you give him your trust,
that's a very sacred, that's a very special thing.
That means I believe in you.
You believe in each other that you're going
to honor each other's agreements,
that you're gonna honor the commitment you've made
to one another, whatever that is.
It's interesting, what some women will do
in relationships is they will try
to push a man's buttons to make him jealous,
because she'll think that that jealousy is a sign of love.
She'll think that that jealousy is a sign that he cares.
Jealousy is not a sign of love.
When someone gets jealous,
they're scared that they're gonna lose that relationship,
that they're gonna lose that person,
and so they try to control the relationship.
They try to control that other person.
Jealousy is not a sign of love. Jealousy is a sign of fear.
And so if there's ever that pattern in your relationship,
kill that pattern right away.
Never test a man, trying to make him jealous
to see if he loves you.
Instead, take his trust.
Take the fact that he supports you
in having your girl's weekend in Vegas,
supports you in pursuing your dreams,
supports you in talking to a male friend.
All of that, take that trust as a sign that he loves you.
Number four is that a man
who loves you gives you affection without expecting sex.
Now, I know that your man loves sex,
and when he loves you, he's gonna want to have sex with you.
He's gonna wanna make love to you as much as possible,
and yet it's not all about sex.
The man who loves you cares about you.
He's gonna give you a shoulder rub.
He's gonna come up behind you and hug you
and kiss you on the neck or on the cheek.
He'll give you that foot rub, that hand massage.
He'll hug you. All of those things and not expect sex.
If at the end of the day, you're feeling tired,
you can't get it on,
he's not gonna run you through a guilt trip.
He's not gonna try to make you feel bad
because you're not willing to have sex
or don't want to have sex with him that night.
Now, hopefully, there's lots of sex happening
in that relationship.
And when a man loves you,
he's willing to be affectionate
and not expect sex in return.
And on that same note, number five,
a man who loves you has sex with you
and then wants to hang out all day. (laughs)
The man who doesn't love you,
the moment that guy has sex, what does he wanna do?
He wants to get out of that situation
as quickly as possible.
A client of mine who just signed up
for our program shared this story recently.
She just met a guy online, talking,
having a great time, went on a date over the weekend,
hung out, they hooked up.
She was like, "Mat, look, I'm in my 60s.
I haven't had sex in a long time, I was ready,"
and then after they had sex,
he got up and he wanted to leave.
And there was a part of her that felt rejected
and felt like, gosh, this isn't cool,
and we've been talking, don't you wanna hang out,
and let's have dinner and what not.
And then she realized, you know what?
We really just had a sexual connection.
We didn't have a deeper connection built at that time.
This is our first date. We just got to know each other.
And so the man who loves you, the opposite is gonna happen.
You guys have sex, he wants to spend the night with you.
He wants to snuggle with you.
You wake up, he wants to get breakfast, hang out.
He's like, "Hey, what are you doing today?
Let's go see this thing, let's go on this hike,
let's go on this adventure together."
Why? Because he loves you.
Men describe it like this,
the woman he wants to marry is a best friend
that he wants to sleep with.
That's the best of both worlds.
So those are five signs, behaviors,
that men engage in when they are in love with you.
My question for you is this,
what behaviors have you seen that demonstrate,
show you, that your man loves you?
Go ahead and post that in the comment section below.
I appreciate you. Thanks for watching.
I'll see you soon.
(lively music)