one day how would you advise someone to
deal with low self-esteem from a
meditation point of view really I'm like
this I heard there was a story that I
read once there was this funny Burmese
monk and ancient in old times anyway
like hundred two hundred years ago who
was very quick with responses to people
and there was this one monk who kept
teaching the same thing over and over
again and then this this teacher monk
came up to him and heard that and found
out that he was just teaching the same
thing over and over again and he'd say I
need wood his way of teaching was to
tell people stories and so his story for
this man was once there was a man who
who had a cure for everything it was
this magical elephant hide the the skin
of the elephant and he would carry it
around with him and whenever anyone had
any sickness he was a doctor I mean
whatever sickness anyone had to give him
a small piece of the elephant hide and
it would cure them and so he went around
carrying around this this elephant hide
with him and eventually it got guy who
got cumbersome to carry it around with
him and he wouldn't always carry it
around and then he'd meet someone and
they needed something so I thought what
can I do to so that I always have this
with me and so finally he devised a way
he made sandals out of the leather from
the elephant and so he would would walk
around wearing these sandals and if any
one happened and needed he just cut a
small piece off to sandal and and feed
it to the person and this went on for
some time until someone finally realized
that this is what they were doing and I
remember the exact story but it was
basically that they got fed up and they
kicked him out and chased him away as
some kind of crazy man because I mean
he's what he's this stuff is is on his
feet which especially in a place like
Burma is considered an awful thing to do
is to feed someone something that your
feet have been walking on all day
so I'm kind of like that sort of teacher
and that I really only have one thing to
offer and that's meditation but let's
talk a little bit about I'm not gonna
cop out here so basic the basic answer
is do some meditation but why does that
help and and what to focus on in the
case of low self-esteem first thing is
to try to get away from the idea of
calling it lower self-esteem because
it's still experience only which means
it doesn't last it's impermanent it's
unsatisfying it's uncontrollable it
comes and it goes there's no way to fix
it because it doesn't exist there are
only experiences once you understand
those experiences then they will go away
or they will lose their power over you
and and slowly go away now low
self-esteem is related to the ego it's
about taking things personally instead
of just seeing them as they are so you
have to also be able to see what are the
things that you take personally so maybe
it's a sense of not having as many
friends as others or not being as
successful as others as popular as
successful as smart as beautiful as
whatever as spiritually advanced as good
at meditation all of these things lead
to low self-esteem so we have these
judgments arise in the mind and they're
not good they're not helpful and we had
it's important for us to remind
ourselves of that and to see it so to
acknowledge knowing knowing when you
know for example you compare yourself to
someone else you have to know whether
this is that that realised that you have
this awareness in your mind so you look
at someone you realize they're better
than me and then this be aware of that
so be aware that all seniors
knowing no just to keep it at just a
knowledge so that when you're aware of
this you don't ever get upset about it
because it's really it's a two-step
thing or three-step thing you have the
experience of some state you interpret
that to mean that you're lesser than
someone else and then the third step is
you dislike it that disliking starts to
snowball and and and gets out of hand
and makes you quite upset can make you
quite upset feeling that you are lesser
you are inferior you have low
self-esteem and the worst you could do
is start to think that you are someone
who has low self-esteem because then
it's become again it's become personal
it's I and it's it's aggravating the
condition which is already ego based you
become attached to the idea that I am
for I have low self-esteem when in fact
it's experiential it comes and it goes
what you you know technically you should
say is I have the tendency to feel
inferior towards others which is sort of
gets called conceit the word conceit in
Pali is mana which which is how you
esteem yourself it can be overestimation
can be low low estimation and it can be
even equal estimation so even attaching
to yourself is equal to others this is
still conceived and it can be whether
you are better than someone or are worse
than someone but it's your estimation of
yourself once you esteem yourself as
better as worse as equal that's already
unwholesome it's a cause for suffering
it's a cause for delusion in the mind
because it relates to self
so another thing is to focalize your
priorities and to learn to let go to
analyze the sorts of things that you are
concerned about like success in the
world beauty physical beauty wealth
popularity all of these things are are
meaningless the for the eight the eight
worldly conditions right there's Fame
and and no fame and and lack of Fame or
high esteem low esteem of other people
praise and blame I'm getting this wrong
yes that pretty yes sir fame
yeah Fame and praise and our famous
there's like station in life yes that
which means famous Fame or or yeah fame
having many friends and also being high
so high station and high social status
social status is maybe the best one so
high social status low so versus low
social status praise and blame gain and
loss and happiness and suffering so
these four good things and four bad
things they are in a constant flux so
they can come and go at any time some
people have a lot of a good one some
people have a lot of thing the bad ones
but they can come and go they're not
they're not they're not static so any of
these things none of these things should
be given any weight at the very the very
outset of your practice even before
you're able to cut off your attachment
to these things you should determine in
your mind that these are not really
worth clinging to if you're going to
cling to something the beginning cling
to your meditation practice because
eventually that will lead you away from
clinging if you cling to these other
things but you can you can help yourself
by reminding yourself how they're not
worth it because they're subject to
fluctuation it's very difficult to get
the good ones are very easy to lose them
in many cases so there's a special case
now be careful about worrying about
worldly things because they're not
things that you can ever get
independently they can disappear at any
time