-Hey, everybody. Welcome to Corrections.
Week, April 26th? I think that's right.
I wanna start by just clarifying.
Some people in the comments of these think that
I'm getting upset by the corrections, and I am not upset.
I love the fact that we have a back and forth,
and, again, you are helping me make the show
what we were aiming for it to be,
which is without error.
So if I ever come off as mad at all,
that is an error on my part.
So the first one we had is last week I said that this was
a digital exclusive, and that digital exclusive
was a fancy word meaning not good enough for TV.
A bunch of people pointed out to me that digital exclusive
is not a fancy word, because it's two words.
It's two words like "really guys"
or "[bleep] off." [ Laughter ]
And, again, I'm just happy to have...
We had a Mario joke, a Super Mario joke.
We said Mario bumps his head and a mushroom comes out.
He hits his head on a brick, a bunch of people said
he punches the brick.
We should've known better.
Substantive is a word that I often pronounce on the show
as sub-stan-tive.
I've made that mistake before, and yet Sal keeps putting it in.
No thesauruses at the Gentile House.
And I know, as soon as I say it, I know I've said it wrong.
Not because it sounds wrong to me,
but because I hear Alex Baze, our head writer,
makes this noise -- [ Growls ]
[ Laughter ]
Like a bear that got woken up from hibernating too early.
Somali-eh, I said Somali-eh in last week's Corrections.
Somal-yay -- I added an extra syllable, I said it wrong.
You know what, if you want to do these.
-I'm saving you a step. -Somal-yay. That'd be helpful.
This is embarrassing for me to get it wrong
because my mother was a middle school French teacher
and every night before dinner she would make my brother and I
drink a full bottle of wine.
We mentioned, we were talking in last night's Closer Look,
about Donald Trump said the Fox con factory, in Wisconsin,
was going to be the eighth wonder of the world.
That sent us down a path where we started talking about
the other wonders of the world.
Basically, did a bit where Trump said he met Shah Jahan
who commissioned the Taj Mahal, at Studio 54 in 1986.
And someone wrote to me, "Studio 54 closed in 1980."
Now, the best part about that, is that Shah Jahan died in 1666.
[ Laughter ]
But that wasn't important.
Because I get the sense you would say,
"Well, Shah Jahan couldn't have been there.
It's like, everybody was there.
Bianca Jagger was there.
Liza Minnelli, Paul Revere!
Shoemaker, you were living, did you ever try to --
did you ever try to go to Studio 54?
-No, you see how I dress. -Yeah.
-I could. -Yeah, I'd picture you there.
Little Mikey Shoemaker from the Bronx.
Standing out there sneering at everybody being like,
"You think I'm not --" See he doesn't talk.
He doesn't want to be on camera so I can tell you how he talks.
[ As Shoemaker ] You don't think I'm too good for you guys?
I'm Mikey Shoemaker from the Bronx!
I'll be back one day.
You're gonna be gone!
[ Light laughter ]
I mean, I work at 30 Rockefeller Plaza!
Cock of the Rock!
[ Normal voice ] I was talking about Wisconsin
and I said, I referred to supermarket in Wisconsin
as a "Kroger's," it is not plural, it is "Kroger."
And there are no Kroger -- now I don't know how to say...
This is like "Lego" again.
There are no Kroger blocks in Wisconsin.
They're -- someone said, "You should've said Piggly Wiggly."
But, Piggly Wiggly is owned by Kroger's.
And I only refer to companies as their parent companies.
That's just my style.
You know who has really good frozen yogurt?
Mrs. Fields.
And you might think they don't have frozen yogurt.
They bought TCBY.
[ Laughter ]
Speaking of, did you hear, that we are getting our own
Ben & Jerry's flavor?
-No. -Neither did I.
[ Laughter ]
Neither did I.
Feels like it should've happened.
And you know what bothers me, I'll tell you why
it hasn't happened.
They're a [Bleep] Vermont company.
And I'm from New Hampshire.
And this just them looking down their nose.
So classically Vermont.
They would never give an ice cream flavor
to a New Hampshire kid -- A hard-working --
Someone from Pyongyang would get it before New Hampshire.
Kim Jong-chill.
[ Laughter ]
I mean what would they even call it, A Closer Lick?
[ Laughter ]
You don't -- they couldn't call it that.
That sounds like [Laughs] that sounds like an ice cream
a guy would keep in a trench coat.
[ Laughter ]
Hey, kids.
You guys like dairy?
Time for A Closer -- [ Laughs ]
Um...Alright.
Some people don't like the Vince Vaughn impression.
Someone said it sounds like Jeff Goldblum.
You're wrong.
You're wrong. Two completely different --
[ Laughter ]
[ As Jeff ] Jeff Goldblum is up here. Oh, hi. Yes, yes, yes.
[ As Vince ] Buddy, I'm down here. I'm not up there.
[ As Jeff ] Oh. Yes.
[ As Vince ] See? totally different.
[ Laughter ]
I mean this guy is a scientist, he's amaz-- he knows everything.
[ Jeff ] Oh, oh thank you.
Do you see what's happening here?
[ Normal voice ] With that said, I want to give people
a chance to officially make themselves heard
in the Vince Vaughn impression.
So, please go to @seacaptainpolls, on Twitter.
and you will be able to vote
and you'll be able to say Seth's Vince Vaughn impression
should either be kicked to the curb
or 'tis the sweetest herb. [ Laughs ]
Pharaoh, I said Pharaoh meant "king" somebody told me
it means "great house." That's pretty good.
So if your friends ever move and have you over,
you can walk in and say, "Pharaoh!"
[ Laughter ]
We, we really stepped in it the other day.
I don't think we've ever done anything
that's received more corrections then saying
that an Icelandic gnome would threaten to steal
your fermented whale meat.
Immediately, I mean, we obviously have a very --
a much higher Icelandic viewership
than we ever could've expected.
Someone said, "First of all, it's not Icelandic gnomes
it's trolls and it's not shark meat it's --"
sorry they said, "it's not whale meat, it's shark meat."
Imagine living in a country where you would have to say to
someone, "Um, it's not gnomes, and whale meat.
It's trolls and shark meat."
Then I realized I had put no thought into what
an Icelandic gnome would talk like.
And I definitely used an Irish voice.
And then said that I was an Irish troll who had a visa.
A lot of people pointed out you don't need a visa
to go from Ireland to Iceland.
But I think this was a working gnome.
I do think he would need some sort of working permit.
A lot of people also said it's okay to have
an Irish accent for Icelandic people,
because the Norse, the Norsemen, the Vikings brought over
a lot of Irish people in the early days of Iceland to work.
And they were, and again, I only ever read Wikipedia.
From what I read, they were not that nice about it.
[ Laughter ]
I do not get the sense that he Vikings set up
a job fair tent in Ireland.
But I should clarify, it would be an Icelandic troll
not an Irish troll.
An Irish troll would be someone who would go on YouTube
and in the comments say,
[Irish accent] "digital exclusive" is two words.
[ Normal voice ] So, pretty good week overall.
And, as always, I want everyone to think about
what they've done and how they've done it.
I'm gonna try to be better.
I want you to try to be better.
Shoemaker's a lost cause.
[ Laughter ]
[ As Shoemaker ] Oh!
Studio 54 is no good for you, Mikey Shoemaker!
Oh, but you'll let in Jack the Ripper.
Alex...
I want you to keep the camera going for the next hour.