- Hey! Welcome to Sorted.
We're a group of mates from London
looking for exceptional things in food
that'll actually make a difference to your life
or just make you laugh.
Two of us are chefs, don't worry, the rest of us
are normal and everything we do
starts with a suggestion from you.
♪ Imma make 'em wait ♪
♪ Pancake chick but I take the cake ♪
♪ I'm gooey in the middle, baby, let me bake ♪
("Pancake" by Jaded)
- Hello, everyone, hope you had a wonderful Christmas.
I'm Mike, this is J.
- And Christmastime is all about receiving the most
beautiful, lovely, terrible gifts for us to reviews.
(jazzy festive music)
♪ Once when Michael turned around, ♪
♪ He was excite or disappoint ♪
- You're happy to go with that?
- [Jamie] (laughs) It's what we're going with.
(laughs)
- Tada!
A tiny bowl of crisps.
(inhaling deeply)
I'm not going to get anything from this, am I?
(crunches)
- [Ben] Good crunch.
- [Jamie] Yeah.
- Mm. (crunching)
They taste like a good, ready salted kettle chip.
- They're quite nice.
- Cue immense disappointment.
- [Ben] In front of you, you have a festive flavor.
Hand-cooked crisps, luxury Christmas tree flavored.
- What? (laughs)
- I've heard of these.
- I mean if I read that I'd think gimmick.
Now having tasted it, I think gimmick.
(others laughing)
- I wouldn't have called it if I hadn't seen that,
but it does smell a little bit more piney.
(inhaling deeply)
- For me, the smell of pine is used
mainly in toilet cleaning products
and not necessarily something I want to eat.
- Difficult to get a flavor into crisps at like full stop
so putting a new flavor in is difficult
and putting such a subtle flavor in is
a little bit ridiculous but I'm sure they'll sell very well.
- They're so dumb. (laughs)
They're so dumb.
- [Ben] Would you pick up a bag?
- No.
Well, maybe I'd be more intrigued
and I think I'm experiencing and I would experience
the same feelings that our audience are
which is they sound interesting
and then immense disappointment after trying them out.
- How much would this set you back?
- I think £3 for the bag.
- I'm gonna say £2.
- Pound a bag.
- Still not worth it.
- Somebody buys them for you as a gift.
Are you going to keep it or regift them?
- I'd regift them.
- I'm regifting this but anonymously. (laughing)
(festive music)
♪ Turn around, turn around, Michael turn around ♪
♪ When you get there you will find ♪
♪ Food under the cloche, woo ♪
- Christmas joy, Christmas joy, Christmas joy.
(Jamie laughing)
- Oh!
- Smokiness.
- What's arguably the favorite part
- Oh don't. - of a Christmas dinner?
- The roast potatoes, obviously.
- That's more iconic to a Christmas roast dinner
that you might not have at other
roast dinners throughout the year.
- No.
No.
Pigs in blankets?
No!
No.
- [Mike] Pigs in blankets!
- [Ben] Pigs in blankets tea bags.
- That is, these are so stupid.
Nobody wants to drink, why do you
want to drink a pig in blanket?
_ A combination of lapsang souchong tea...
- Okay, that's very delicious tea.
- apple, nice pairing with pork...
- Can't smell that.
- sage, and rosemary.
- Fear not though, James, it's vegan.
- Oh no!
No!
No.
- I wonder if you'd be better off
getting a sausage and stirring it some warm water.
- That might not be vegan.
- If you gave me a cup of tea with just
a long pig in blanket just floating in the top.
- You know what's coming next,
don't you? - Yeah I do, yeah.
Come on.
(Jamie laughing)
Give it to me.
Okay.
(peppy festive music)
- I don't dislike it but why is it
called pigs in blankets tea?
- It just tastes like nice tea.
It is pretty good lap-sung-soo-soo-shung, that.
So the issue that I have here is that
the sole usage that this is marketed at,
which is pigs in blankets, that's pork,
isn't anything to do with the final product.
- It's just the naming of it.
You can't do that, you just cannot do that.
It's just click bait.
It's click bait but in real life.
- So I feel like it's click bait.
- But in real life.
- Yes.
- You wouldn't be the first person to say that exact phrase.
- I don't believe in that as a product
because I think it's false advertising.
- How much are they?
- I'm going to say £2.50.
- Pound a box!
- It's fine, just...
- We're not, we're not--
don't call it that!
- So these were gifted to us by Barry Lewis.
We have now regifted them to you.
Are you going to keep them or regift them yourself?
- I'll keep this.
I'll keep this.
- I'll be regifting this.
(festive music)
♪ Last Christmas we got you some gifts ♪
♪ And they were too good ♪
♪ So this year we got you some bad ones ♪
♪ Turn around, find out what they is ♪
♪ Maybe it's something special ♪
- The phrase "New Year, new me"
doesn't apply to you, does it?
Pow!
- Yay, a powder.
- I'm going to give it a sniff.
I imagine that this is a Christmassy spice blend.
(peppy festive music)
- Oh, it's a bit spicy.
- Oh, there's some heat there.
It tastes like white peppery or pepper.
- Christmas cake or carrot cake spice blend
for a latte or something, I don't know.
- This, it's a rub
but is it a turkey rub?
- It's better than turkey seasoning.
- Oh no.
- This is brussel sprout dust.
- What? - What?
- Our brussel sporut dust is a unique rub
to give some fantastic flavors
to those sprouts that no one eats.
This rub is easy to use and tastes amazing.
You will no longer have any complaints about boring sprouts.
- Okay, okay, okay, so it's not the dust of brussel sprouts.
- So it's like "Let's roll it in glitter". (laughing)
Basically, this is brussel sprout glitter.
- So it's like, it's curry powder.
- If you've read what's on it, yes.
- Would you like to try some in action?
- Of course.
- I'd like to do a before and after.
Is that possible?
- I just heard the microwave going up.
Please tell me you didn't just
microwave brussel sprouts for me.
Please, Ben, come on, you're a chef.
- Ugh, there's that ever-familiar smell of brussel sprouts.
Okay, so this is before with nothing on.
That's quite nice, I like them.
I think they're alright.
They're not my favorite.
Let's try them dusted in glitter.
It's nice.
That's still better than that.
- If you've got some curry powder in your cupboard,
boom, put that on the sprouts.
- How much would you pay for the spice dust?
- If it's more than a fiver, then Christmas is canceled.
- If this is more than 79p it's getting regifted.
- £3.50.
- Ugh.
- So would you eat or regift that one?
- It's just absolutely not worth it in my opinion.
- I'd eat it.
(jazzy music)
- [Jamie] Um...
- Don't bother, I'm just going to turn around.
(others laughing)
- Ha!
Oh, this is going to be bad.
- [Mike] Christmas dinner flavored lip balm,
so this is all about smell surely.
- [Ben] All about the baste.
♪ All about the baste, 'bout the-- ♪
- (inhaling) Smells a bit fruity.
- I was a bit worried this when I first saw it
but having smelt it, it smells nothing
like Christmas dinner so like every
other product we've reviewed, it's all the title
and it's just be like lip balm.
(peppy music)
- [Woman] Why are you applying it so weird?
- What do I do?
What am I supposed to do?
- You keep it still and you move your head.
(Ben laughing)
- Smells fruity, tastes like lip balm,
probably works as a lip balm,
absolutely does not do what it's marketed at,
so I think get it out of my face.
- It like, what do you want me to say?
It doesn't taste of anything,
it just, it tastes like cherries.
- How much would you pay for a Christmas dinner
flavored lipstick that tastes of cherries?
- Nine pence.
- As a lip balm, I would pay 60p for it.
- £2.50.
- That doesn't even come close, £2.50?
That doesn't even come close to being
what it's supposed to be.
I think that's so bad.
- So James... (stifles a laugh)
- Are you keeping it or regifting it?
- Well I kind of have to give it to Mike now.
(others laughing)
- I don't even want to be associated with regifting it
to be honest 'cause I just don't want it.
If you want a lip balm, get a lip balm.
Also get it in a flavor that is nice.
(festive music)
So I'm going to appeal to you
to please lead us out on a high.
♪ Here come the gifts, they're just for you, ♪
♪ Please turn around, see what to do ♪
There's an improvement.
- Okay.
A board.
- Oh no!
I think I already know what this is.
Is it, can I ask you one question?
Is this a cheese board?
Oh, what? (laughing)
(groans)
- [Ben] In front of you, you have a dessert cheese board.
Mint choc chip, cherry bakewell, gingerbread,
and sour cherry with candied orange in the shape of a star.
They are all white Stilton based
and they are all then flavored
to imply, taste, remind you of other dessert.
- Candied orange, doesn't smell too cheesy for me.
(crunching)
I think that does a bloody good job of that
'cause I don't think that's horrible.
As a mouthful, that's actually very pleasant.
(ding)
(exhales)
This one certainly smells more cheesy.
(crunching) Oh okay.
It's really good.
- I can't believe you're liking these.
- Yeah, that's because they don't taste like cheese.
- Move around to the gingerbread.
- Oh I can't wait now.
(jazzy music)
Smells very gingery. (crunching)
- It's horrible. (laughing)
(ding) That looks grim a.f.
- That smells like mint choc chip and I can't wait.
(crunching)
- Tastes like cheesy ice cream.
You know when you leave ice cream out of the fridge?
(laughing)
- Delicious! (others laughing)
- What is happening? - This is not how this
is supposed to go.
- Really, did you not like it?
- James, how bad were the cheeses?
- [James] Probably one of the worst things
I've ever put in my mouth.
- The cheeses are by far the best thing
not only in this video, but any
pretentious video we've ever tasted.
- The mint choc chip is vile.
- No it's not, it's lovely.
- The gingerbread leaves the weirdest aftertaste.
- That is really nice, I like that.
That's made me like cheese.
- I'm eating it 'cause I'm so intrigued
but it's like everything you
don't want when you bite into cheese.
- Now that is good.
Oh, and the cherry bakewell one is definitely the best one.
But they're all brilliant.
They're all really tasty.
- How much do you reckon they cost?
- No, I don't care. (Jamie laughing)
You've given it to me, I'm keeping it.
I'm not regifting it.
- I don't know, like a fiver?
- They're between £2.50 and £6.
- I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed.
- Right, so the scenario that I think this works in,
clearly, that we have learned is that
as a non-cheese-eater, the cheeseboard comes out
and you're like instantly like
"Oh, here we go, great, nothing for me.
"Have an After Eight, thanks."
This repels the cheese lovers,
but the non-cheese lovers taste it
and go "That tastes like mint choc chip."
Surely this partnered with a real
cheese board equals everyone's merry.
- I wouldn't want to inflict that on anyone.
- Do that one.
- [James] It's just like a waste of time
and life and money. - That mint choc chip cheese
- [James] I know.
- is one of the worst things I've ever put in my mouth.
- Eat or regift, what would you do?
- Gift or regift, list them out
in the comment section down below
and let us know what you thought of them.
- Also, give the video a like if you liked it.
- What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
- I do not know.
- Cheesus crust.
- Cheesus, I thought you meant a part...
- Cheesus. - That's not even close to--
- Cheesus.
Maybe I'm saying it wrong.
(Mike laughing)
- And we will see you next Wednesday
when we're coming back to you with another video.
I've forgotten which one we're doing.
- Is that next year?
- That's going to be next year.
- That's next year!
- A whole year away.
- Wow.
As we mentioned, Sorted is just run by a group of friends,
so if you like what we're doing,
then there are loads of ways that you can
support us and get more involved.
Everything you need to know is linked below.
Thanks, and we hope to see you again in a few days.
(beep)
- You have to break all the rules to do this,
but you get a Yorkshire pudding,
fill it up with gravy, put a mini
chipolata pig in blanket in it
and it's a pig in a blanket in a hot tub.
(others laughing)
Heard it here first.