*Far, far away, in a giant hole in the earth...*
*Our three hilariously funny, heroic, sore-lost champions arrive.*
*Markiplier, the god of games.*
*Bob, overlord friend of Markiplier.*
*Wade, the heroic badass sore loser.*
*But then, their archenemy, the villain behind this destruction, appears before them.*
*Barbara, the evil being from UNO.*
*Our three heroes against this madman receive their weapons.* Bob: Oohhh, nice! Nice!
Bob: Ooh!
Mark: Ahh!
Wade: Ooooh!
*Bob equips the golden valentine sword.* Bob: Alright come on now. That-- oh! that's good. Ah, there's a good one.
*Wade equips a pink useless slingshot stick.* Wade: Fucking goddamnit what is this sh-- I don't want it take it back!
Bob: *snickers* That's uh...
*Markiplier equips the sword of not-so-proportional color.* Mark: Aw that's not a good color. I don't like that color. Ah it's alright.
Mark: Haiya!
Bob: What's uh- what's Bar- what's Barb got over there?
*In a ferocious strike of lighting, Barbara reveals her terrifying pure gold duo tomahawks.*
Mark: Well, this-- well, well.
Bob: *inhales*
Bob: Uh no, that's fine, that's fine, yeah that's fine, that's fine. Mark: I'll get 'em! Get 'em! I'll get 'em!
Mark: Okay.
Mark: Wade get her!
Wade: As if you actually-- you would not want me to get her!
*unintelligible arguing*
Beheaded Wade: NooOOO! MY HEAD!
Bob: Good God!
Headless Wade: I don't want that! Mark: *chuckles*
Mark: What a noble sacrifice you made Bob, I'm really proud of you. (HE'S WADE YOU SHTOOPID BISSHSHHH)
Bob: I did this for my friend! I did this for you!? Mark: I'm really proud of you. Wade: Don't you dare waste them!
Mark: I'm so proud of you.
Wade: Barbara said, "How sweet, I love the way the light shines off the top of your head!"
Wade: That's what Barbara said to ME!
Wade: Fuck you Barbara, take this goddamn bullshit.
*Wade's attempt to attack Barbara with the slingshot stick becomes unsuccessful, as the stick itself snaps in half.*
Bob: Oooh look at that, tough one tough one.
*Bob knows what he must do.* Bob: *deep breath* I think I guess I'm gonna have to draw...
*Markiplier joins Bob.* Mark: I got you Bob
*Barbara launches one of the golden tomahawks at the both of them.*
*the attempted attack is unsuccessful.*
Wade the armless: OH GOD!
Mark: Awwww...
Mark: Aww man!
Bob: *inhales* Good play Barb.
Wade: Well, what a play!
Bob: Here Wade, we'll have you try, you try, you try.
Mark: You try it! Bob: Come on, fight her off. Yeah, that's the spirit.
Wade: Oh what a b-- Oh THANK YOU! THANK YOU BARBARUHH!
Bob: Nice play! Mark: Nice Barbara, nice!
Bob: Good shit. Wow. Mark: Wow.
Wade: I'm just gonna FUCKING CRAWL!
Bob: Hahahahaha
Mark: Wade? Wade?
Wade: What the fuck do you want? Oh Barbara don't you dare, dehh- don't you dare!
Wade: No Barbara, no!
Mark&Bob: *laughs*
Mark: Oookay!
Mark: Good move! I-- not for me though.
Bob: I don't think Wade's doing very well.
Wade: Yeah do you want jump in again? Son of a brrr-- Goddamnit!
Wade: Uh-oh.
*a rather large explosion ensues as Wade gets crushed underneath the giant black weapon.*
Bob: Calm down. Wade: I'm fine. How are you?
Bob: Deep breaths. I- I feel like you just need to take a breath for a little bit and relax, it's fine.
Bob: Everything's going- everything's going so well... Wade: I'm breathing! I'm breathing very happily--
Wade: GODDAMNIT!
Bob: *laughing uncontrollably*
Wade: My motherfucking hand!
*Wade becomes enraged at the loss of his apendage.* Angry Wade: B A R B A R A!
Bob: Ayyy look at that!
Wade: FUCK YOU BARBARA!
Wade: *crazed laughter*
Mark: There you go! Yeah yeah yeah!
*boing*
*Wade furiously attempts to violently slay the demented Barbara.*
*But then, Barbara swings the tomahawk at Wade. What will happen next? To be continued on the next episode of The Legend Of Barbara!*
Subtitles by Angel Baa'nya Jones. Thanks for watching! Also, you rock Markiplier! Hope you reach 100M someday! Sorry if I'm plagiarizing, someone else might have made the subtitles along with me. (Jared Helped...)
yeet, Goodbye!