You're doing great.
That feels condescending.
No, it's true.
Because this couldn't be easier.
How could I screw this up?
Well.
[LAUGHING]
Justin Warner here with comedian Nikki Glaser.
And you guessed it, we're going to eat the universe.
Today we are going to create a dish inspired by Squirrel Girl.
And that dish is called hot dish.
- OK. - Are you familiar?
No.
So hot dish is kind of like the casserole
of the northern Midwest, or even the Great Lakes region.
NIKKI GLASER: OK.
JUSTIN WARNER: We're making a, like, 90% nut version
to celebrate Squirrel Girl.
Yeah, we are.
Well because I'm vegan, and I've always very much related
to squirrels, just being like--
I've never related to a creature more.
So let me just say, ya nailed it.
Squirrel Girl, right here.
Love it.
Because we're making this vegan, a little hack
that I like to use for tasty vegan cooking
is to use this stuff.
NIKKI GLASER: OK.
JUSTIN WARNER: You know what it is?
NIKKI GLASER: It looks coconut-y.
It's lotion.
I'm just kidding.
You could use it as lotion I bet.
- You could actually. - Because it's a plant, right?
- Amongst other things. - I mean obviously.
What is it?
JUSTIN WARNER: This is good old fashioned vegetable shortening.
NIKKI GLASER: Oh. OK.
JUSTIN WARNER: Right.
So this is like a plant-derived fat.
And so from there--
NIKKI GLASER: Can I just like, eat this with a-- like,
is that a good--
With a little bit of salt, it would
actually taste pretty great.
I bet it would be amazing.
OK.
Yeah.
I'll do that alone later.
JUSTIN WARNER: So we're going to let that melt a little bit.
So Squirrel Girl, aka Doreen Green
is all of the powers of a girl, and all
of the powers of a squirrel.
This girl ain't falling out the trees.
Although she is at risk of getting
hit by cars, more so than the average girl.
Those hybrids are quiet.
JUSTIN WARNER: She was also part of the Great Lakes Avengers,
which is why I'm kind of bringing
this, like, Great Lakes area dish to the forefront.
Right.
OK.
I get all of that.
It is news to me that there is a Great Lakes Avengers.
That seems like something you tell girls.
And then I'm like, yeah, and then there's a Great Lakes--
and then everyone laughs at me.
So is that this? - No.
There really is a Great Lakes Avengers?
I mean, I wouldn't put it on your Twitter, but--
OK. But, like--
But yes, there is a Great Lakes Avengers.
So this is an onion.
Yeah.
- And we're just it to the pan. - Yeah.
JUSTIN WARNER: And so we're going to make
those get to about translucent.
Do you have a trick for not crying when you cut those?
JUSTIN WARNER: Yeah, absolutely. The number one--
Just not thinking about the past?
Sorry.
I use a sharp knife.
Oh.
So onions. JUSTIN WARNER: Yeah.
NIKKI GLASER: In. Done.
JUSTIN WARNER: Yes.
And then, because we're going to make,
kind of like a mock ground beef, we're going to use pecans.
NIKKI GLASER: OK.
JUSTIN WARNER: The thing I love about pecans is that they
have a roasty, toasty nutty flavor,
due to the maillard reactions.
- Christmas songs. - Exactly.
- Right. - There you have it.
Maillard reaction?
JUSTIN WARNER: Yeah, the maillard reaction--
responsible for most things being delicious.
Oh. OK.
Well then, thank you Dave Maillard.
Boom, baby.
JUSTIN WARNER: Great job.
How do you feel about this stuff?
NIKKI GLASER: Oh, is that like the wheat thing?
JUSTIN WARNER: It's ground up mushrooms.
Oh!
I love, love, love--
mushrooms are like my favorite food, I think.
JUSTIN WARNER: Right.
I don't know if squirrels eat mushrooms or not.
NIKKI GLASER: They should.
They're missing out.
This is vegetable stock.
OK.
Very simple.
It's starting to look a little ground beefy here.
NIKKI GLASER: I don't need my food-- like a lot of vegan food
is like, it looks and tastes like meat.
And I'm just like, I don't need that.
But I need this.
JUSTIN WARNER: OK.
NIKKI GLASER: This looks so delicious.
Here, continue to stir.
Thank you so much.
JUSTIN WARNER: I'm going to add some simple salt.
What would be a great power for a comedian,
like the ability to silence hecklers or to simply stay
paid?
Yeah, I mean, I feel like a comedian's
main nemesis is the heckler.
So I'm thinking, as a comedian, what would be my best
defense against a heckler, and I think it would be, like,
being able to see that person's past,
and then pick something to just insult
them in a way to their core that you're like,
how did she know that?
JUSTIN WARNER: So does that make you more of a hero or more
of a villain?
I don't know.
[LAUGHING]
I honestly don't know.
JUSTIN WARNER: You want to make some cheese sauce?
Yeah.
And by cheese sauce I mean, "cheese sauce."
Yes.
OK, great.
These are almonds.
Yep.
I recognize them. JUSTIN WARNER: Yeah?
You want to put 'em in the blender?
Hey, old friends.
Yes.
Yeah.
There you are.
JUSTIN WARNER: This is motor oil.
Soy sauce. JUSTIN WARNER: Yes.
Yeah.
That looks like it. JUSTIN WARNER: Great job.
NIKKI GLASER: Thank you.
I can identify liquids without smelling or tasting them.
I'm Sauce Broad.
JUSTIN WARNER: Sauce Broad.
I want to be Sauce Broad.
Squirrel Girl and Sauce Broad.
OK.
And then let's add this stuff.
NIKKI GLASER: Mustard. JUSTIN WARNER: Yeah.
What's that?
Oh, wait, I know.
White vinegar. - Yes!
Boom!
Sauce Broad, killing it, killing it.
All right.
That's not a sauce, and you already told me what that was,
so I'm not going to-- JUSTIN WARNER: Right.
NIKKI GLASER: But I would've known what that was.
JUSTIN WARNER: No points.
NIKKI GLASER: I think I guessed coconut shortening
or something.
I wasn't Sauce Broad yet.
JUSTIN WARNER: This is your origin story.
It is my origin story.
[LAUGHING] JUSTIN WARNER: All right.
Ready?
NIKKI GLASER: Yes.
Am I ready?
That was real.
Ooh, it looks cheesy.
So the other cool thing about the mustard
is that the mustard is an emulsifier.
Right.
And that keeps her liquid and fat things from separating,
and makes for a truly creamy cheese sauce.
Oh, that's great.
Oh my god.
That's so good.
Yeah?
It kind of tasted like cheese, like, no joke.
Yeah.
As Sauce Broad, I've never been challenged this hard.
Let's assemble. Shall we?
OK. Yes.
That was an Avengers joke.
[CHUCKLING]
Squirrel Girl has an animal sidekick, aka, Tippy Toe.
NIKKI GLASER: OK.
JUSTIN WARNER: If you could have an animal sidekick,
what would it be?
NIKKI GLASER: My dog Marian needs a job.
So I think Marian--
she's just had it too good for too long,
and I'd like to put her to work.
Sauce Broad and Marian.
Yes.
Oh, what are we doing now?
JUSTIN WARNER: We're going to top with chestnuts.
NIKKI GLASER: OK.
Do we put 'em all over or just scatter them like--
JUSTIN WARNER: The world is your hot dish, my friend.
NIKKI GLASER: Oh.
So it's like a Japanese sand garden.
All right.
I'm going to put these into the oven.
NIKKI GLASER: OK. JUSTIN WARNER: Finish 'em off.
Great.
And I'll meet you at the Table of Taste.
Can't wait.
It's that way.
Well, here we are.
Let's have a taste.
I'm so excited.
So excited.
Yeah? You're dancing?
JUSTIN WARNER: Mmm hmm.
I'm pumped.
Oh yeah.
Right?
Oh yeah.
It's like somewhere between nuts, lasagna, shepherd's pie.
We got herbs, we got acid.
What else is going on in here?
Well all I did to--
It's so flavorful.
I love it.
It it's like a mousse.
Also a Great Lakes animal, if I'm not mistaken.
Oh yeah.
Oh my gosh, Moose Man.
So it takes a lot of confidence
to be a Super Hero, especially to be
someone like Squirrel Girl.
Mmm hmm.
What is the most courageous thing you've
had to do in your career?
It was just recent.
I signed up for Dancing with the Stars.
I didn't sign up.
I didn't go to a place and just enter my name.
But I said yes when I got asked to do Dancing with the Stars.
Wow.
It was the scariest thing I've ever done.
I'm a terrible dancer.
JUSTIN WARNER: Oh.
Terrible.
OK.
And no one thought I was as bad as I was.
And then I showed up on set and they're like, oh no.
I was the first voted off.
I've been kicked off of all sorts of cooking reality shows.
Don't worry. - Oh you have?
Oh yeah.
Tell me about You Up with Nikki Glaser.
I have a morning show every morning,
Monday through Thursday, two hours every morning,
10:00 to 12:00 Eastern on Sirius XM channel 95,
Comedy Central Radio.
And I just-- all I do is just--
I just talk about whatever I want.
And a lot of times it's just like,
I shouldn't be talking about it.
I leave a lot of times saying, like,
why did I talk about that?
But people seem to like it, and we have so much fun.
And it's funny.
It's so funny.
And we have a podcast called The You Up Podcast
if you want to check it out. - Oh.
Wow.
Good to know.
Thank you so much for being here.
Loved-- loved being here.
Loved being had here.
That's all the time we have.
We'll see you next time on Eat the Universe.
[MUSIC PLAYING]