why hello there is this your bag?
that would make sense, since when my colleague
removed it from the x-ray machine
you followed it over here
well um
would you mind if I just took a little
peeky, looky look inside?
we want to make sure that
you know, you're not bringing anything
dangerous or illegal or fun onto the plane
okay?
you, you don't have a choice, no
this will probably take a very long time
when's your flight?
okay
but though, it doesn't change anything
I, uh
I was told to really be thorough
so uh, I'm just gonna go ahead and um
take a little listen
just to make sure there's nothing alive in here before I open it
is there anything alive in here?
I am hearing absolutely
nothing
okay
well
I don't really know how to hear through a stethoscope
so I'm just gonna open it and find out okay?
this bag's a little, uh...
beat up
do you travel a lot?
oh gosh that's heavy
ok
now thank you for already having this
mostly unzipped for me
I'm going to need to
get this open
umm
I'm gonna go ahead and get my gloves, ok
little swabby packs there
now is there anything in here that
is fragile?
could poke me? disease me? kill me? cut me?
ok
oh yeah I'll be very, very gentle
and let's see what we've got
okay
okay well
this is just, um
this is yours?
oh
alright why I think it's quite nice actually
but I, but I see ...ok
what is this?
oh!
upf 50 maximum uv protection
are you allergic to the sun?
ok, well
I'm not getting any sort of residue on this
it's just a hat
guess that's good to go, right?
then we have...oh another hat
these are..
two very different hats here, aren't they?
ok, um
who is, uh... Teddy?
you don't know him...
that's a little suspect, but uh
no residue
uh here we have..
a little journal
oh these are your private notes?
okay
no notes about um,
stowin' away in the airplane or...
doin anything criminal? I just gotta make sure
oh...
that's um, that's interesting
well, I see..
well maybe they aren't,
maybe they are worth your time
oh no, this this paragraph right here..
yeah that's awful
I know somebody who could treat you better...
okay...
alright
oh no.....
oh that's just a shame
...okay
umm,
I might need to keep this for...evidence
yes
yes um, sanctioned by the TS of A, so
I'll go ahead and put this aside for now
here we have
this little
case
what could be in here? hmm?
you got somethin'?
let's.. find... out
just as I suspected
you were planning
a murder
I'm gonna have to confiscate these
just one snip
to a major artery
and someone's life
could go snip snip
I have to take my job seriously here
exactly
and right underneath.. what is this is?
is this a replica? or is this real?
oh oh it's real
well that's very cool
how wonderful
okay, I'm gonna take these from you
and you can keep your
toenail clippers and uh,
little tweezers
you actually have a little uh, something,
if you want me to get it for ya
ah there! that was, that was bothering me, so
don't mind me..
just doin' my job
ok
thought you could get this past little ol Daisy
I'm gonna go ahead and keep this right there, ok
we've got uh,
some unfolded clothing
really should fold this up
there you go
and.. this is nice
what is this?
jacket?
ohhh
okay
oh it's in my size
you shouldn't have
the uniforms they give us are so ugly
what do you think?
not bad
not bad at all
thank you!
ah ah I'm not done
please be patient
here we have
Walt Disney world
but uh,
may I see your ticket please?
doesn't look like you're flying to Orlando
why do you have a Walt Disney World
Mickey Mouse sweatshirt if you're not going to Orlando?
yes I am aware that there are other Disney worlds
really?
oh that many? oh..
and is Mickey Mouse at the same one?
how's he travel to all those?
hmm
okay
I've always wanted to go to Disney World
Oh no... no, no...uh, I'm banned
I'm banned from there, so
no more of that
wonder if I could get in to the one uh..
across the country though...
interesting
ok
well then nothing suspicious there
oh...
one of those..
mmkay
I can see why your bag got checked..
drugs?
in my airport?
quite a few actually
well, enjoy
you're not plannin' on selling that, are ya?
Oh!
they're actual bath soak...oh
I mean, of course I knew that
well just in case, I should um
I should probably test this
with my handy dandy
...your stuff's all in my way
ah!
really get it in there
like so..
I'm just gonna put this sampling in my machine
well this is um,
my mistake
you should be totally fine
to fly with that
and this..
okay
um, *sniffs*
I cannot let you take this on the plane
well.. it's only 2.5 ounces that's true
but this is...
this is offensive
why did you buy this?
ohh
it's...
watch this
look at that woman
she is gagging
covering her eyes and nose
this is...you cannot...
I'm throwing this out
no absolutely not
Oh
oh my
first of all, how could you?
it was a gift?
well they clearly don't love you very much, so
okay
oh you've got an extra zipper over here
gonna have to go through this now
ok
let's see...ah a little...
poo pourri
before you go toilet spray
what's this?
you spray this..
oh!
in? before you go?
well that's pretty nifty!
well, maybe you should be using this as your..
your fragrance
that is much better... lavender vanilla
lovely
seems like you've used quite a bit
oh! and you follow it up
with the classic Old Spice
oh I like this
I'm actually a little sweaty
just get in here really quick
just a little..
mmkay
Oh kinda chilly
it's got kind of like a little..
little kick to it
this is..
original scent
twist-up product
apply to underarms only
use daily for best results
well thanks
here we got some..
oh glasses
ok um
now why are you bringing glasses
on a plane?
to see.. ok
well if you really needed them to see
why aren't you wearing them now?
because you have contacts in..
I don't need your attitude
but I certainly like it
alright you can keep your glasses
I'm not gonna take em
just you know, I have to do my job
and you have to do yours
which is getting to your plane
on time, two hours early
mmmmm
you have sleep problems?
mmhmm
hidin' anything else in here?
besides melatonin?
mmhmm
let's do a check
well this is my first week at this job and um
I was told that if I find drugs
well then we can sell them
was I not supposed to say that?
I thought that that was..
Oh...
for the safety of our...
um, customers
we must find anything dangerous
drugs aren't dangerous
okay well
I just gave em back cuz.. nothing abnormal so,
you go ahead and keep those
oh..oh my
do you wear this?
this is precious
could you put it on for me?
just ...please?
oh..alright, alright..don't have to get testy with me, I just
...thought it was...kinda cute
well I, I think that's everything
you're not taking this with you, and um
I luckily stole your scissors
so that you cannot perform a heist
trust me..
that does not go well
what time is it?
do you have the time?
phone there?
oh I am three minutes past my lunch break
you can close this up yourself right?
yeah, that's what I thought
well
I suppose my job here is done
I have saved another day
I don't know, they pay me alright
do you have any questions for me?
no I cannot help you put your luggage back together
but um...
you know, if you wanna...
kick it in the TSA lounge, I can
give you the passcode
okay get to your flight don't want to miss it
all right all right
stickler for the rules
well you have a wonderful flight
and uh maybe I'll see you through this line again someday
bye bye!