Oh, I am ready for a good night's sleep.
What is going on?
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Come on.
Oh, my spleen.
I think I got it.
I don't got it.
Crazy people!
Oh, I feel like I'm in the womb again.
All right, I just had to wiggle a little bit.
That's great.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Coming!
Hi sir, it's time to check out.
Yeah, OK.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Dude!
I'm working on it!
Get out of your room!
Check out is at 11:00, not 11:01.
No, no hey.
You guys think this is funny?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
Anything you leave will be sold.
Oh, that looks so good.
Too bad those Snickers are $18 apiece.
No, no, no, no, did you just open that?
Oh yeah baby!
Those are $7 apiece!
Lee, do you know anything?
What?
Why did you open that?
It's water!
I can fix this.
Oh, the seal is a dead giveaway.
Do you have any gum?
No, I don't have gum, but I have Swedish Fish.
No, no, no, stop!
All right, let's look how much damage has been done.
It looks like three seals have been broken.
That's tap water.
Got them.
That's a Snickers.
$923.
What a night.
I wish I would have been invited to the party.
I can offer you guys, for one night only,
our nonrefundable rooftop view.
Rooftop?
You guys are going to love it.
It has an insane view of the roof.
An insane rooftop view?
That's my guy.
Show me the rooftop!
I mean, it is a rooftop view.
An insane view of the roof.
Yeah.
From the roof?
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah.
It's got a view of the rooftop.
I don't know what kind of twisted wordplay business
you're running here, what I'm through with it!
We need another room!
36.
Should be right here.
What?
I just came from 20.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
There's no way this is right.
No way.
There she is, finally!
It's nice at least they give you a few different pillow options.
[BALLOON POPPING]
Oh!
Know times are tough when they're using cornhole bags
as decorative pillows.
Oh.
Wow.
Ow!
That's just weird.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
No, no!
What is going on?
I'm taking the toiletries.
They're going to throw them away anyways.
Oh!
Woo, q-tips!
We deserve these batteries.
Triple A's.
Sending some stuff your way.
OK!
Here we go!
OK little of this, little of that.
Little bit of that.
Last thing, I've always wanted a Sleep Number.
You think they'll notice it's gone?
I don't think so.
OK.
Oh, place is great.
Yeah right, place is a cesspool.
Night, man.
Ugh.
You're disgusting.
They should pay us $59.99 to stay here.
Hot tub, pool down there.
But what I'm most proud of is our state-of-the-art fitness
center.
Pop those sleeves right up.
Second thought, keep those down.
Is it supposed to be doing this?
No, you're fine.
You're fine.
What's going on man?
I was just wondering if I can get an upgrade?
Doubt it.
But you can check though, right?
Nothing, dude.
Can I talk to the owner?
I'm the owner's son.
That makes sense.
That makes the most sense.
Yeah, I'm not the guy who typically calls in a noise
complaint, but it sounds like a Civil War reenactment
next door.
Thank you.
[MARCHING BAND MUSIC]
[SHOUTING]
Hold the line!
For my family!
You got me [INAUDIBLE].
He's not going to make it, we got to leave him!
Need a tourniquet!
I'm not going to make it!
Hey!
Hey, is this a Boy Scout hat?
Yeah it is.
OK.
Does it look OK?
Just flip it around, it looks too much like a Boy Scout.
There you go.
Hey, good job everybody.
Let's do it one more time.
Let's switch sides.
Time for a shower.
Holy handles!
Honey, have you seen the shower?
They got more nozzles in here than Home Depot!
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.
Whoa, it's so cold!
Nope, that's not it.
Oh, wow.
The other one's kind of nice.
Oh, God.
Medic!
Honey, I need a lifeguard!
Turn it off!
I want to go home!
Hi.
Checking in for two.
Just two?
Yep, just the two of us.
He plays in the NBA.
Hi.
We do have a two person max capacity per room.
That's why it's just two, it felt
like an appropriate number.
Something just sneeze?
No, nothing sneezed.
It's a tumor.
I don't really like when people look at it.
So--
408.
Yeah, thank you so much.
All right, boys, we're clear!
Ugh.
Ow!
Oh, man.
Oh, those stairs were brutal.
Yeah, sorry about that.
Hey man, you owe me 100.
You're over 50 pounds.
You were supposed to carry me on.
Housekeeping!
No!
Clean towels!
No thank you.
Here's a pillow!
Come back later when I'm not here!
What is happening?
No, I said no!
Come on.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Housekeeping!
No!
I got an absolute smoking deal on this room.
Nice!
350 a night.
Nice, 70 bucks a person?
No, no, no, $3.50.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
OK.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
I hate to say it, dude, I feel like you overpaid.
I mean, it is just 70 cents a person.
Guys, it's for one night.
This'll be great.
Whoa!
What?
Whoa.
That is way more comfortable than I expected, huh?
I'll sleep right here.
T, what do you think this pipe is, man?
I don't know, AC overflow?
Something?
[CALMING MUSIC]
Dude, you stole all the tarp, man.
[TOILET FLUSHING]
Dude, what is that?
What is it?
Ty, what is that?
I had that all wrong, I'm really sorry about that man.
Eggs, baby!
Woo-hoo!
Get you some protein, Cory.
It's free.
OK.
Yeah, sounds good man.
See you.
Oh, it's dark in here.
Where's the light switch in this place?
That was a trash can.
It's got to be on this wall, surely.
Nope.
Oh.
Oh, I really thought that was going to be it.
No?
Oh.
[CLAPPING]
Yes!
No.
Ow!
Just put it on the credit card.
Digits are 5189--
Shh!
60% of every hotel room you stay in
has at least three hidden cameras or one audio monitoring
device.
Honey, now's not a great time.
Rage monster just checked into our hotel.
Got to keep tabs on him.
Got way too much money tied up in this thing.
Over here, brother!
Yeah!
Audio tapping God's word?
You disgust me!
You don't take these safety precautions,
that's how you wake up tomorrow morning with eight
new images of you on Google walking around
in a pair of undies that you're not proud of!
Think about this?
I don't know.
What do you think?
Just to be safe.
Oh!
Look behind you!
Oh!
We're onto you, you dirty rotten scumbags!
You didn't think we'd find this one, did you?
Oh, no.
Yeah, yeah, grab your stuff, grab your bags.
All right, let's just go.
We're coming for you!
[INAUDIBLE]
How did we miss this?
We're going to find whoever did this.
Time out.
Does it feel like you're running at an incredible rate of speed
down this hallway?
It really does, man.
We're stupid fast right now.
Let's just go.
Can't keep up.
We're getting close!
Where does that wire go?
No!
Gar, get in here!
We found him!
What are you doing spying on us?
Get out of here, get back to your room!
Wait a second.
Is that you Cody?
No.
You sure?
Yes!
It's housekeeping!
He's gone.
I think he went back to his room.
I think I did it!
You are so crazy!
You're going to pay for this!
No!
Crazy!
How about a nice, cold drink?
No!
That's a fire sprinkler!
Make it rain!
Are you serious?
Stop!
All of our hotel rooms are getting flooded!
Oh, the TVs.
Come on boys, you're coming with me.
We're not done yet buddy!
That's my grandma's.
Hey!
Is this a van Gogh?
Yeah!
Then it's got to go!
No!
That's--
Oh!
Gaping hole in my van Gogh!
What?
I've always wanted to do this.
Oh, yeah!
Full on rage!
This is unbelievable!
I love the Rage Monster.
I got to invest in something else.
Liked the meeting room was better
than I thought I was going to.
Hey, y'all.
The doors, they lock on themselves.
Hey could one of you help me--
Super nice place.
I think they have room service.
Yeah!
Whoa.
Locked out?
Yeah.
I've been there, brother.
Jean Carlos here to take good care of you,
giving you a tip to all the hottest places in town.
How about you give one back?
Looking, looking, looking.
No seriously, I'm looking for the tip.
Ooh, a one.
I got one suggestion for you.
More!
Keep on coming.
Don't be so mean to old Jean!
What rhymes with Jean?
How about a Benjamin.
Yes, one hundo!
OK, enjoy your stay.
And if you need anything, find somebody else.
Front desk.
Hi, can I request a wake up call for 6:00 AM?
Yeah you sure may.
What level of intensity would you like?
It's like a pad Thai restaurant, 1 to 10 spice level.
I can't miss my flight, so level 10 I guess?
Sanjur, we got a level 10-er!
Please evacuate immediately.
I'm up!
It's got an insane view of the roof.
From the roof?
Insane view of the roof, yeah.
From the roof?
Yeah, yeah, pretty much.
My guy.
Unmatched view of the roof.
Can see the whole roof.
No way?
Yeah.
[BELL RINGING]
Hi.
Yeah, it's what it looks like.