-Depression's up anxiety's up
-But I think they were but we didn't know that yet
-And that comes from a lack of innocence, right?
And they're not ready to handle it
-Hi, I'm Mateo I am sixteen and I build robots
-I'm Taylor. I'm 18 and I'm really passionate about singing and about music
-Hi, I'm Isabella. I'm 16 and I fly a plane which is a Cessna 172
-Hi, I'm Fanny and I am not gonna say my age
and I'm a filmmaker,
-I'm Elizabeth. I'm
39 plus 1 and I am a film director.
-I'm Jeremiah. I'm 41
I'm a Regional Sales Manager for a telecom company
-Well, I'll start, so right now I'm learning every like a new thing every day
But like if I had a lot more years then by the time I'm like 90, I'll know everything.
-Yeah exactly
-Yeah, just simple things like with learning how people around you act that you learned so much that you're not gonna learn as a 10 year old
-I think as parents I'd like to say I feel I know nothing. I mean literally every day I say to you
I'm just guessing and the older I've got, the more I've realized that everybody else
around me is winging it and they don't know everything
Either and we're all just trying our best
-like when you're young you're like, I know everything about everything, you know
Now, from what I know to what I don't know that's you know
Those two things are just completely on opposite ends of the spectrum for me
All teens are rotten people, but
It's forced on you at a lot earlier age, online for teen boys. I mean they can find horrible images everywhere
-I definitely do agree that there's a lot more exposure.
It's not like an intentional thing. I don't think kids are just like worse
It's just easier to get caught up in bad situations.
-Okay, well I personally think that we're more innocent now because
parents you guys could get away with a lot more back in the day
-Yeah, it was we were naughty we did a lot of things my parents never knew
but now I can I can you know check on his phone where he's at and
-But sometimes you go down that rabbit hole where you do think your kids are super innocent
And then you realize oh they have two snaps. What's this other snap? What's it? What's this other Instagram?
Oh, I have a dead one. You don't know about
Everybody has you know, I think you have to be more devious
-Well, I mean this one time I got Instagram and all my friends added me
They added me to the first Instagram account,
that you parents don't see and I was slightly disappointed in them as people, but
-I didn't know you had Instagram, see?
-I got rid of it.
-I think you have to give credit to some other kids I do
I think that there are some kids who haven't got to Instagram
and actually trust is the biggest element for me as a parent
I trust her.
-Yeah, I mean if the question was do you think your teen is innocent? Oh and I say teens, uh
-I still think it's 50/50 your friends
-I don't know but suicide rates are up, depression's up, anxiety's up
-I think they were, but we didnt know that yet
And that comes from a lack of innocence right?
-I think they were though
I know three or four people in my class that had those problems,
but they weren't spoken of, I definitely agree that it's more, I do
-I think for me, it's... I don't know if you know how much I
almost judge myself by seeing other people on social media
-Yeah, I do because let me tell you I worry every day
You don't know this when I'm on your social media
looking at all these other things that people have been doing
Just hoping you haven't seen it or that you're not affected by it
So I worry about that all the time, but I don't say anything about it
-this probably won't be a surprise because you saw my grades from that year but
In sophomore year I skipped math class like all the time. It was awful.
So yeah, there's that
-You know
One of the things that I don't think you know about me is like I feel like I'm always holding my breath, you know
I'm a lot softer person
I'm you know
When I get bored on my work conference call they tell you I doodle but I actually I write poetry in it a lot
But I don't exactly like to talk about it or put it out there
-but you just did
-I wish I knew more. *impersonates son* How was your day? Good.
Please tell me what's going on, please. I just want to know.
-Like I could tell you a lot more about what I do
But it's pretty boring. - But like today on the way here,
You told me you're working on a documentary
When you know, I'm a documentarian like shouldn't I know these things like this is what I do for a living
You know, I only have a couple years left before you go to college. I really want to
Be a part of it
-Yeah, I mean I made the decision to have kids and I gave up that control of really for me what I had, to raise
A family and and it's like my own fault, but I got kids out of it. That's great
I'll take the win on that
But you know, I want more control in..in terms of what I want to do. That's gonna make me happy and more fulfilled
-Why I feel like I want more control, it's not.. I wouldn't even..I wouldn't say it's you or mom
It's.. I just would like like to be doing more things by now
There's so many things that I wish I knew like for music and like making an actual song and things like that
So I feel like it's more of that
Environment holding me back then like home life
-For me I really didn't feel like I was in control of my own life. Now that I'm 40,
I feel like I'm finally
Grown into who I am truly as an adult and owning it. I'm in charge of my own life. There's nobody else
-I'm personally good with the amount of control I have
Though I'd like it if you can show me how to control it myself so when I finally go to college
And I'm independent I can actually know how to do these things. -Yeah, I think I'm currently very happy
where I am with what I control cause I understand that there are some things that I don't have control over and I think
when the divorce happened
having your parents
Break up there's
To see something as big as that, that is something I hadn't no control over
but I knew that I could control how my room looked, what I ate, what I wore, I kind of
embraced and took hold of because I knew that that's all I had control over.
-I don't know about this one
I think I'll go.
-Why are you shaking your head?
-Like there's always room for improvement so like
Even if you're at like the best you always want to get a better relationship with your parents
-okay got it.
-I just.. I feel like it..it's why I had kids when I was 20...by the time I was 22
I had both my kids because I was young parent I look at my kids I go
"Oh that really.. that mess- that messed 'em up. Dang it
They're gonna remember that one", you know, I just it's like it's hard because I know I haven't been you know completely perfect,
one I wish I could have a bunch of redos, but I can't so moving forward
I want to try to continue to work and get closer for sure
-like at this point what like both like me and you are looking for is just how to
how to
Have like the father/daughter connections still after high school, and I think we both feel that really hard right now
-yeah, I also had them young and you know, I'm divorced so
single mom with two kids and this is pursuing the career while
dating and I always feel like "oh my gosh,
I did the whole thing wrong."
Because there I am going on dates and
So I do feel like it had an impact in them. Especially Matteo, who's my youngest
-You were a lot, like you're always gone a lot but doesn't really change our relationship that much. I don't think
You having to date was a bad thing or having me early, Even though, you probably could've waited a little bit more
And there's, for me there's always still room for improvement
-It's not me saying that I wish the relationship would stay where it was cause I think we're in a good place
I just don't feel right now that it needs to be better. -Well in that I don't think it's definitely not perfect
-Yeah, -but we're learning at the same time to improve it constantly? Aren't we? constantly checking in every day with each other
We're always changing and I think you have to work with that
Hey guys, Kendra from Jubilee here. Thank you so much for watching this series middle ground. We are so passionate about inspiring radical empathy
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