SCP-100-J "A Steaming Pile of sh**" object class: Keter
Item #: SCP-100-J
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-100-J is kept in a 20-by-20-meter containment structure
on the bottom floor of Site-19.
The structure is to be lined with plasticrete, backed up by 4 meters of steel.
Attempts to encase the SCP in telekill have met with absolutely zero success.
SCP-100-J is to be kept in a plastic bucket in the middle of the containment structure.
There is to be around-the-clock surveillance of SCP-100-J. Security on SCP-100-J is minimal
at most times, needing only one guard on a rotating schedule.
However, whenever a new operative joins the staff at Site-19, a security detail of at
least 20 fully-trained security operatives, as well as ten agents, are to be on duty outside
the containment structure for 72 hours; after 72 hours, if no new SCP has been spawned,
normal security practices are to be reinstated.
Should a non-sentient SCP emerge from SCP-100-J, a team of researchers is to be dispatched
into the containment structure, to determine the properties of the new SCP, and to determine
how best to decommission it.
Should a sentient SCP emerge from SCP-100-J, Site-19 is to go on full alert, and all manpower
brought to bear on containment structure.
Agents Clef, Kondraki, Gears, and [REDACTED] are to be immediately informed, so they can
begin forming decommission strategies.
Should an SCP from SCP-100-J make it past the bottom ten floors of Site-19, the onsite
nuclear weapon is to be detonated.
Description: SCP-100-J appears to be a 42 cm by 32 cm mound of equine feces.
The SCP maintains a constant moistness, as well as an inner temperature of 38.3 degrees
Celsius.
Whenever a new operative joins Site-19, there is a 75% chance that a new SCP will be spawned
from SCP-100-J. There is a 50% chance of the new SCP being sentient.
Non-sentient SCPs come in a variety of categories.
Many are weapons, all of which bestow extraordinary abilities upon the user.
The majority of such weapons are swords, with a small minority being rather awkwardly-modified
firearms.
Additional non-sentient SCPs tend to be items that either work better than they should,
or work in direct opposition to the way they should.
Sentient SCPs come in two main categories.
The majority of humanoid SCPs appear as idealized versions of the new operative, physically
attractive, with a multitude of abilities, and tend to make people feel comfortable in
their presence.
Non-humanoid SCPs are usually some form of enhanced normal creature, but with bizarre
coloring.
Addendum: List of SCPs created from SCP-100-J:
SCP-███-D 'Little Addie': SCP appeared to be Adolf Hitler, at six years old.
SCP was terminated without any alterations to the timestream.
SCP-048-D 'Joey': SCP was a dog with a human face, friendly except when taunted.
SCP was put to sleep without any negative effects.
SCP-083-D 'Duke': SCP appeared to be a polite and well-mannered vampire.
SCP was terminated by Agent Kondraki after near-destruction of Site-19.
SCP-886-D 'Vibrations': SCP appeared to be skin-tight suit that interacted directly with
a subject's nervous system, granting them incredible powers.
SCP was burned with no adverse side effects.
SCP-966-D 'Reverse Air Purifier': SCP acted as an air purifier, but in reverse.
SCP was smelted, and resulting scrap used to line the floor in SCP-173's room.
SCP-108-D 'The Man O'War': Human male resembling Agent James ██████, proved to
be unstoppable when in possession of any weapon.
Subject was given SCP-572, and self-decapitated.
SCP-685-D 'Bag of Holding': SCP appeared to be a normal satchel, capable of holding an
unlimited quantity of items.
SCP was turned inside out and vanished.
SCP-122-D 'Large Canine': SCP was a large winged dog.
SCP was put to sleep with no complications.
SCP-096-D 'Too Good Air Conditioner': An air conditioner that reduced room temperature
to 0 degrees.
SCP was smelted down, and the scrap was not used.
SCP-547-D 'Nature's Fury': SCP was a teenage male identical in appearance to Dr. Timothy
████████████, but wielding unbelievable power.
SCP was terminated by accident.
SCP-072-D 'A Spell Book': SCP was a thick book which claimed to contain 'magic spells.'
SCP was burned with no complications.
SCP-226-D 'Chrono Komodo ': A sentient statue of a komodo dragon that possessed time-controlling
abilities.
SCP was terminated by accident by Dr. "Iceberg" and Prof. Kain Pathos Crow.
SCP-153-D 'The Impaler's Thumb': SCP was a mummified thumb that turned its holder into
a patriotic xenophobic racist.
SCP was accidentally incinerated by Dr. Kondraki.
SCP-1016-D 'Ben the Cyborg': A self-described "computer genius" whose body parts were largely
replaced by computer hardware.
Decommissioned by Dr. Gears.
SCP-106-D 'Exploding Woman': SCP was a woman who, by inserting her finger inside a human's
navel and touching one of their organs, would explode, regenerating 20 days later.
SCP was destroyed by subjecting it to the simultaneous presence of SCP-048-D and SCP-053.
SCP-151-D 'K': SCP was a creature that resembled an albino human child with a furry tail.
Possessed psychokinetic abilities, and a strong hate for personnel convicted of violent crime
towards women and/or children.
SCP was decommissioned by exposure to SCP-056.
SCP-806-D: SCP was a white rubber mask that "metaphored" people's heads until they died.
Was destroyed by unified staff effort within 26 hours of its emergence.
SCP-███-D: The re-animated corpse of former United States president James Garfield.
Captured and incinerated.
SCP-████-D: An evil goblin jester that likes to murder people.
Fed to SCP-682.
SCP-████-D: Eight billion humans that gain psychic powers when their brains are
not exposed to radiation.
All instances were allowed to be terminated by SCP-076-2 as a reward for good behavior.