Is shyness holding you back? Stay tuned.
this is Damon from NLP Gym how to
overcome shyness if you haven't already
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believe it or not I am a shy person just
because a person is willing to put
themselves out in a public forum such as
YouTube does not mean that they're not
shot to extreme examples of this are
Johnny gun and howard stern both people
who have massive fame but in their
personal life they are more introverted
and shy people with these men have in
common oh is that they don't allow
shyness to prevent them from doing what
they love and what they love requires an
audience shyness often comes from a fear
of being judged by others to a shy
person it's just easier to only spend
time with people they know they don't
whose judgment you don't fear or people
who they know care for them and support
them or the side persons it's just
easier for them to be alone and not
engage with people while spending time
alone are spending time with people who
you already know our wonderful
experiences it's really important to get
out there and meet new people
you never know who you might meet you
might be a lifelong friend your future
spouse or maybe someone who could really
advanced you in your career
I i recommend putting yourself and
social pressure situations like walking
up to a complete stranger and starting a
conversation are finding opportunities
to do public speaking
you will learn so much about yourself by
putting yourself in these what would
seem like high-pressure situations but
the more you do it the more you don't
feel that social pressure and the more
you will start to connect with people in
other words don't ever let shine us
prevent you or limit you from doing
things that you want to do or from
connecting with people and I don't think
we have something called second position
then another video on all the different
positions first position is me in my own
body looking through my own eyes and
when I have memories in first position
would be me stepping into that memory as
if i was actually there and seeing
everything as if i'm actually they're
not seeing myself but seeing from my
perspective second position is when we
drop into the other person and see
ourselves from their perspective we do
this
unconsciously this is not some sort of
Mind Trick being conscious of how we do
it and when we do it is part of your NLP
training and will help you in
understanding other people it will help
you in understanding yourself better
right now you can try this out just
think of a memory a recent memory and
think of how do you remember that memory
is it are you associated into using
three own eyes as if you're actually
there again are you saying it like a
movie and you're watching yourself
either way to drop into the other
person's experience who you are
interacting with our if you're
interacting with a group maybe choose
someone in the group whose opinion you
value the most and go second position
without actually drop into their
experience and don't just see it from
like where they were sitting or standing
actually become that person would be
like to become the person and then look
back at yourself
this is extremely powerful because this
is how we cultivate sympathy
you might be surprised at some of the
discoveries you have when you do this
when you drop into someone else and look
back at yourself one of the most
surprising things that I found whenever
I would go second position with someone
was getting the sense of their
insecurities so maybe I feared this
person judging me but when I dropped
into their experiences with second
position with them i was suddenly able
to sort of access their insecurities
which made them more human to me
dropping into their experience and
getting in touch with their insecurities
make their judgment not really harsh
anymore and it made me feel like they
weren't even judging me try this with a
few of your memories to get some
practice doing it and then go out and
try it when you enter
acting with someone it can be a truly
amazing experience
first of all when you go second position
with someone in real time while you're
talking to them you you will build
rapport really fast they will get a
sense that you understand them on an
unconscious level and they wanted to be
sure how that's happening they will just
feel drawn to you and connected to you
not all the time but in most cases don't
be surprised if you connect with this
person really fast because they can
sense your curiosity about their
perspective of the world and when you
take their perspective on of the world
they will sense that that you understand
them on a level that most people don't
it's amazing when you first meet someone
and you try this out how fast you can
connect with someone doing this going
second position with someone sort of
wipes away that your judgment from this
person because you kind of get a sense
of their perspective and it's less
likely that this person will judge you
because you're connecting with them and
you're also getting a sense of who this
person is and people in general aren't
that judgmental or if they are their
judgment until they get to know you and
once they get to know you
then they will likely like you now if
you're doing a presentation this could
be a little difficult you don't want to
do it so strongly that you lose your
place are that it slows you down your
presentation you can do this ahead of
time before the presentation sort of pre
frame it for yourself practice and
rehearse the exercise and if you get a
sense that you can do this while you're
giving a presentation which is something
i do as well then go ahead and give it a
try the more you go second position with
people the more you will connect with
people the more you want sympathy and
empathy for people and the more you
connect with people the less you will
fear their judgment the less you fear
people's judgment less Shyne you will be
you might always retain a little bit of
shyness and that's okay I i feel like
i'm still shy person but I never let it
stop
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