INFJs are sensitive people who have a knack for deeply understanding those around them.
They're not just good at listening to others and getting information from them, they are
able to read between the lines and understand people in more meaningful ways.
INFJs, therefore, take their relationships very seriously.
They only choose to bond with people they can fully trust and share things with.
This is the reason betrayal can be particularly painful for an INFJ and can be one of the
things that leads to the infamous INFJ door slam.
The ‘INFJ door slam’ is a term used for when an INFJ cuts someone out of their life.
There are many reasons why an INFJs might slam their door on someone, both literally
and figuratively.
They might be feeling overwhelmed or stressed and need some time alone to clear their mind.
They might be angry or frustrated with being misunderstood.
They might have just simply given up on a person.
When something starts this act, INFJs can block out their emotions and treat that individual
like they don't exist.
In other words, they end any kind of close communication with this person.
So, let’s explore 10 reasons for the INFJ Door Slam.
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If You Hurt Someone They Love
One definite reason an INFJ will Door Slam someone is in defense of someone else.
The INFJs will become angry if a person harms someone they love.
They are very protective of the people that they care about, making them capable of being
dangerous towards someone who causes them harm.
If an individual hurts them or someone they hold dear, they are capable of seeing that
person as less than human.
Since it is to protect someone, the INFJ finds this necessary and justified.
They will shut out the offender with ease, often doing it with a very clear and rational
mind.
Take Advantage of Their Caring Nature
INFJ's are arguably the most compassionate and self-sacrificing set of individuals you'll
ever meet.
They put others' needs above their own, a majority of the time, sometimes to their own
detriment.
INFJs make the people in their lives happy by pleasing them.
They will put the needs of the group ahead of their own in many situations.
This is a respectable trait to an extent, but it can get taken advantage of.
INFJ’s don’t tend to complain, so people tend to find it easier to overstep their boundaries.
When people don't realize that the INFJ frequently makes sacrifices for them, they can become
resentful and frustrated and the door slam would eventually happen.
People Try to Dominate Them
Extroverted Feelings are one of the core cognitive functions of the INFJ personality type.
These individuals want to make other people happy, so they would rather inconvenience
themselves.
It makes them easy to be around but also tends to attract narcissists and other toxic individuals.
People who thrive on control and dominance will likely see an INFJ as an easy target.
In these relationships, an INFJ can only protect themselves by distancing themselves.
When an INFJ eventually realizes they are being controlled and manipulated by someone,
they will door slam them.
They Prefer Authentic Relationships
The INFJ could live a simple life, but it would still have high standards.
Some of it can be seen in the relationships they choose.
They would rather have a genuine friendship than a bunch of superficial ones.
It is also one of the reasons that they have a reserved character.
They understand that perfect relationships take time to build and would wait for it.
It is possible that some people get close to INFJs without intending to build something
worthwhile.
A door slam would eventually happen because of this process.
Unbearable situations are often involved in relationships that end with an INFJ door slam.
There are bound to be disagreements between friends, partners, and even loved ones.
Deep emotional turbulence is often caused by persistent disputes, which might be too
hard for an INFJ to handle, and so they door slam.
They are Betrayed
INFJs tend to avoid conflict and confrontation at all costs, preferring to retreat into their
inner world of thoughts and feelings.
They prefer to deal with problems by themselves.
When an INFJ connects with someone, they do it solely from their heart.
When someone stomps on it and betrays them, they don't usually give them a second chance.
INFJs don't hesitate to cut people out of their life who break their trust.
They tend to be very emotionally connected with their loved ones, especially their significant
others.
It's a sign of their strong sensitivity and emotional nature.
However, INFJs have an equally strong sense of justice and integrity.
They see betrayal as the ultimate destruction of their faith in someone, and they see no
path to redemption for that person, and so they door slam.
They Need Time Alone
INFJs need time alone to recharge.
INFJs are often very busy people, and they need to be able to step away from the hustle
and bustle of everyday life to re-center themselves.
They are often drawn to solitary activities, such as reading, writing, or hiking, that
allow them to explore their inner thoughts and feelings.
This is a sacred time for them and anyone that does not respect their space and need
to be alone will quickly find themselves out of their life with a door slam.
They Don't Like to Share Thoughts
The INFJ personality type is often misunderstood.
People tend to think that INFJs don't share their thoughts and feelings, well at least
as much as others would like.
They are often thought of as mysterious and complex, which is partially true.
INFJs are very private people, and they don't like to share their thoughts and feelings
with just anyone.
They prefer to share them with people who they trust and who they feel understand them.
This can be frustrating for some people as they perceive an INFJ’s unwillingness to
share as cold and distant.
These people don’t understand INFJ and don’t give them the time they need to build trust
and comfort before they open up.
If an INFJ is pressured to get personal before they are ready, they will shut down and stop
communicating, and eventually door slam.
They Don't Like Confrontation
The INFJ personality type is often seen as gentle, introspective, and diplomatic.
This can make them difficult people to challenge and confront, as they tend to avoid confrontation.
They’re afraid of creating a tense climate or of being treated with scorn or anger.
They also like to maintain harmony in all their relationships.
If an INFJ discovers someone to be prone to conflict and arguments, to not to disturb
their peace, they will likely door slam them.
They are perfectionists
There's a lot of debate surrounding the INFJ personality type, but one thing that's nearly
unanimously agreed upon is that INFJs are perfectionists.
An INFJ’s perfectionism is most brutal when they are evaluating themselves.
They subconsciously use themselves as a yardstick by which to judge others.
Sometimes they can be almost unrealistic in their expectations of others.
For example, say an INFJ swears to keep a secret, they’ll probably take it to the
grave.
It is therefore quite shocking to them when others don’t.
INFJs can become incredibly idealistic about people in this way.
When they feel someone has not lived up to what they imagined, they will soon lock them
out of their lives with a door slam.
They Are Sensitive
We all have a few moments when we feel overwhelmed by the intensity of our emotions.
But for an INFJ, that emotion can be more intense than anyone else's.
And INFJs sometimes struggle to understand why they hurt so much.
As empaths, they are just deeply feeling people.
Due to their exposed senses, it is very easy to hurt an INFJs feelings.
Harsh words can cut especially deep coming from people they hold close and have shared
themselves with.
Emotional abuse can make an INFJ completely shut away from a person.
Using something personal they have confided in you against them will most likely result
in a door slam.
Most INFJs have a hard time with negative feelings, and for some it is unbearable.
The reasons on the list are just a few of the ways an INFJ will shut themselves off
emotionally and sometimes physically from others.
Usually, they are trying to protect themselves from something that they are not ready to
process.
How you treat an INFJ and the words you use therefore really matters.
INFJs need to feel like their emotions are heard and seen.
They need fairness and balance in their relationships, and they greatly value understanding and emotional
intelligence.
Respect this about them and the door will never be slammed on you.