(bright music)
- [Narrator] Welcome back, Psych2Goers.
So, we know you're not a sheep,
a follower, or a sycophant.
Yet the question still lingers,
even if it's deep down,
"Am I likable?"
Regardless of the hype around being a lone wolf,
truth be told,
being likable is a natural concern
rooted in human nature for survival.
Sure, we don't need it to survive
being eaten by wild animals anymore.
Instead, it's necessary for survival
in the modern jungle,
where professional connections and romantic prospects
are at stake.
Wondering where on the survivability scale you sit?
Let's take a look
at some likable personality characteristics,
so you can figure that out.
Number one,
you are genuine.
Are your beliefs,
ideals, and curiosities your own,
or are they directed by an outside hand?
When faced with a task to tackle,
do you just do as you're told,
or is the approach more,
how can I do this to get what I need out of it?
If you can honestly say,
that, although you may listen to others,
your decisions are your own,
it's highly probable that you are being true to yourself
and a genuine person.
What is it about being genuine
that is so likable?
It has to do with trust.
If you're showing how you really feel,
and you're comfortable in your own skin,
others can feel they're getting the truth.
This authenticity also means the person
has self-awareness by looking inwards
while staying grounded in who they truly are.
Number two,
you are a good listener.
Quick, think of a scenario
where you're in a conversation,
what are you doing?
Are you actively processing
and understanding what is being said,
or are you muttering things like,
"Mm-hmm, yeah, crazy, right?"
whilst being distracted or impatiently waiting
to say your piece?
Listening involves empathy,
as well as comprehension.
When we listen carefully,
we are considering the speaker's feelings
and intentions
without interfering with our own.
Consideration implies care,
giving attention and respect to the speaker,
as well as the words spoken
is telling the other person that they are cared for,
and are worthy of that care.
What can we say?
We like being cared about.
Number three,
you're humble.
No, not humblebrag or false modesty,
we mean truly humble,
which, ironically,
is not something a humble person
would usually use to describe themselves.
A humble person has humility.
They understand and accept their imperfections,
so, won't hesitate to acknowledge
and apologize for mistakes.
They will learn from those and try to improve.
This is opposed to the I'm always right individual.
As contradictory as it may sound,
the pliability humility brings
is stronger than rigid arrogance.
Someone with humility is more approachable,
because they appear reasonable.
Others know they won't get brashly shut down
if they have a different
or new opinion.
Having humility also means increased emotional wellness
and resilience.
You know that being wrong isn't the end of the world,
and you trust yourself to fix it
and improve on it.
Humility,
good for you,
good for others.
Number four,
you are not judgemental.
We all have to make judgements on some things,
or else we'd never make a decision on anything.
When it comes to how people are viewed,
there's a little more to the story.
Being non-judgmental with others
shows a sense of balance and empathy.
You are able to embrace differences
and can observe without giving a grade
and sentencing on others' behavior or words.
Certainly, you may disagree
with someone's ideas or way of thinking,
but you can still accept
and interact with them without judgment.
You don't think they are bad,
but you might simply consider,
"Is this difference so impactful
"that we'll just go down different roads?"
We can't get along with everyone all the time,
and that's okay.
Number five,
you're empathetic.
This ties into all the other characteristics.
Empathy, as described in this context,
means not only the ability to understand,
see, and feel from the other person's point of view,
but also care about others.
This allows for compassion towards others
and the ability to challenge one's own perceptions
and prejudices towards people
with different viewpoints.
And number six,
you greet people by their name.
If asked, "Who are you?"
we wouldn't be surprised if you started with,
"My name is..."
Names are an integral part of your identity,
it's a proclamation of your presence.
So, when you address someone by their name,
it means you've noticed them,
that you remembered them,
and that they hold some importance to you.
The resulting atmosphere of respect,
recognition, and consideration
is definitely a positive.
So, those were some characteristics to look for,
notice, maybe even practice.
Likability does involve other people, though,
so, we're not solely responsible for it.
There may be those who will never like us,
no matter how likable we are,
and that's not because you did something wrong,
we do not control other people's feelings
or how much they allow their own biases
to affect them.
You, too, may find people that,
on paper,
seem to be the most likable people,
yet you feel a little meh about them,
and that's not wrong,
it's being human.
We like you, though,
and we'd really like you to like us back,
commenting doesn't hurt either.
Thanks for watching,
and catch you next time. (bright music fading)