10 SIGNS THAT YOU ARE AN EMOTIONALLY MATURE AND INTELLIGENT PERSON
When we think of someone who’s emotionally mature, we typically picture a person who
has an understanding of who they are, a person with high emotional intelligence. In other
words, emotional maturity is when someone can manage their emotions no matter their
conditions. They know how to react to tough circumstances and still keep them relaxed.
Emotional maturity is the most important quality of great relationships. Unfortunately, we
don’t pick it up simply by going through puberty.
We have to practice it, learn to heal our emotional pain, and slowly develop the character
traits that allow us and our relationships to thrive. It’s a long process, but the
rewards: meaning, happiness, joy, are worth the effort.
In this video we will see 10 signs that will tell if you are an emotionally mature and
intelligent person.
1. You know that people can’t read your mind
There’s no icon over your head telling others you’re hungry, sad, angry, happy, frustrated,
or depressed. You have to tell them. Instead of blaming people for not magically
getting you, speak your mind to the best of your ability. Say what you really want, tell
people how you really feel, and try your best to be calm and clear in the process.
Being able to verbalize and communicate effectively brings benefits everywhere in your life. From
emotional relationships to the business environment most people fail because they are unable to
communicate what they're feeling and this internal frustration belts up because they're
not willing to put it out into the open and work on what needs fixing.
2. You know there’s no time for passive-aggressive behaviour in life
Life is short. It’ll be over way too soon. There’s no time for bottling up negative
emotions. When something stings, try to pull out the thorn immediately. Tell people where
it hurts. Help them help you. The faster you can go from pain to processing,
from feeling to sharing, the faster you’ll alleviate your own and other people’s suffering.
3. You choose your words carefully before you respond
In both business and life, the outcome of conversations can completely change by just
taking a few moments to think things through before coming back with a reply. More often
than not people don't care about what the other person is saying, instead they're just
waiting for the opportunity to hear themselves talk. This shows how superficial conversations
often tend to become. At the other end of the spectrum you have
people who are too emotionally involved in the conversation and respond too quickly without
allowing the information to be distilled. These are people who take everything said
to them without literally never really taking the time to figure out what the other person
was trying to communicate. You should always figure out what your best
options are to getting the outcome you actually desire. The opposite of emotional maturity
in this case is seen in people who would rather burn bridges because in the heat of the moment
they act out of impulse instead of reason.
4. You are careful in your relationships There’s a difference between being good-natured
and being gullible. Yes, you should believe in the best of people and hand out many trust
advances, but, sometimes, even good intentions lead down a muddy road.
No single person will solve all your problems. Everyone carries their own baggage, no matter
how polished they look on the outside. Be grateful for the good relationships you have,
but be always ready to re-evaluate them. Take your time when you meet new people and make
sure you get to know them well before giving them your unconditional trust.
When you were less mature, you could develop a crush in an instant. When you grow and become
more emotionally mature you’re poignantly aware that everyone, however externally charming
or accomplished, could be a bit of a pain from close up.
5. You respect diversity In a perfect world as long as a person doesn’t
harm us, our family or society it’s none of our business what this person does.
If we really can’t resist the urge to judge someone though (and we pretty much all do
it from time to time), a person who is emotionally intelligent and mature understands that the
only factors that should be considered are this person’s actions and behaviour.
Whether someone is a good person or not it is not determined by the colour of his or
her skin, his or her sexual orientation or his or her financial or social status. We
use a lot the word "diversity" these days because discrimination is still a big problem
in 2021 as it was centuries ago, however I hope that if you are still watching this video
on YouTube in 2051 you will see all humans as equal at a point where the word “diversity”
doesn’t even make sense any more. I truly believe that we can reach such a level
one day in the future given that when it comes to discrimination today the problem is certainly
not because of the younger generations, with some rare exception.
Generally, those who tend to discriminate the most are those who have never even tried
to meet people from other backgrounds and cultures, and this has led them to have limiting
beliefs that they carry with them throughout their life.
6. You expose yourself to opposite points of view in order to grow
Social media are a good representation of life when it comes to this point. For example,
Facebook and YouTube algorithms have been coded to show you the content you agree with
the most, so you click on the things that you like and agree with already and you keep
reinforcing your beliefs, without ever questioning them with people with opposing point of views.
An emotionally mature and intelligent person has the ability to understand, relate and
take value out of the opposite point of views. If a person has been successful in a certain
field in life and you haven’t, probably you should at least listen to what this person
has to say – of course this doesn’t mean that you need to take advice from everyone,
but at least hear the other person opinion and try to understand if there is anything
useful that we can get out of it.
7. You know when to keep trying and when to cut your losses
The ability to simulate outcomes and predict the future is what allows us to decide correctly
whether or not we should keep pursuing our particular project or cut our losses and move
on. We don’t need to win every battle in life,
sometimes in order to win the war is wise to just call it quit, admit defeat, and move
to the next battle. Pay attention to people who want to win at
absolutely everything, even the smallest things, and in the process, they’re compromising
their long-term success - don't be that guy. Sometimes in order to take two steps forward
you need to first take a step back. Think strategically!
8. You don’t care about what other people think
You realise the minds of others are muddled places and you don’t try so hard to polish
your image in everyone else’s eyes. What counts is that you and the people you love
are OK with you being you. You give up on fame and start to rely on love. Social pressure
and social anxiety are big issues nowadays, but look at it this way:
When you’re 20 you care what everyone thinks. When you’re 40 you stop caring what everyone
thinks. When you’re 60 you realize no one was ever
thinking about you in the first place. People have their own life and their own problems,
don’t assume that they are constantly thinking or judging you, like they have nothing else
to do. Just do your own things, respect others, care about your dear ones and try not to get
too stressed about the little things in life.
9. You get better at hearing feedback and are not afraid of asking for help
Rather than assuming that anyone who criticises you is either trying to humiliate you or is
making a mistake, you accept that maybe it would be a good idea to take a few things
on board. You start to see that you can listen to a criticism and survive it – without
having to put on your armour and deny there was ever a problem.
An emotionally mature and intelligent person is also not afraid of asking for help. Asking
for help should not be seen as a sign of weakness, in fact it takes a lot of strength to go over
our ego and look for a solution that will help us in the long run.
Of Course, there are times when you need to face your battles alone, and although relying
on others to fight your battles for you might bring immediate positive results it actually
hurts your ability to perform consistently in the long term. So, don’t be afraid to
ask for help, but at the same time respect other people’s time and commitments.
10. You admit when you're wrong and take responsibility This is the main focal point of this YouTube
channel: taking responsibility for our actions. Being able to take responsibility for our
actions is the first sign that someone has reached a good level of emotional maturity.
For some reason admitting you're wrong has such a bad rap because of ego, but the more
you evolve the more you understand that this isn't the case. Admitting when you're wrong
is incredibly powerful because it allows you to adjust course based on information you
didn't have or didn't understand before. This is a game changer for anyone who's serious
about becoming a better version of themselves and not end up like those blaming society
at every opportunity to justify their failures. Some people keep digging themselves deeper
and deeper through lies and tantrums, trying to convince themselves that they are not to
blame for the lack of results. Some people would rather be right even when
it comes at the expense of the relationship with their significant other, rather than
admitting to be wrong, which is a pretty childing behaviour.
Now tell us, which of these 10 points you feel you have mastered, and on which ones
you still have a lot of work to do? If you wish, let us know by leaving a comment down
below. If you liked this video, don’t miss the
video “The 9 Intelligence Types” that you can find on this channel. I invite you
to subscribe to the channel and activate the notification bell if you haven’t done so
already and wish you a wonderful rest of the day!