Right now, we're going to do something that I think is really exciting.
We're going to Netflix myself.
Jim Gaffigan.
Don't worry, it's P.G.
Have I Netflixed myself?
Yes, I have.
I'm not proud of it.
I was alone.
I was lonely.
I did it, okay?
Don't hold it against me.
Can I tell you all my Netflix original titles off the top of my head?
I don't think I can. And I'm sorry.
The first title.
It might be "Emily in Paris." But they recast me.
They put that other woman as Emily.
Anyway.
All right, so here we go.
The first thing that came up was "Cinco."
I know these pants are tight.
That's a little gift for the ladies.
This was my fifth special.
I had a joke about, I now have a special for each of my children.
So hopefully this is the last one.
And "Comedy Monster" is my ninth.
But I don't have nine kids, I still only have five.
That I know of.
We were still doing opening segments,
so my wife did a very interesting opening segment for the special.
There were some concerns when the special came out.
People thought it was in Spanish.
Because the word is "cinco," which means five in Spanish.
But I don't know how someone
would look at me and think,
"Is this guy doing a special in Spanish?"
But I can barely order in a Mexican restaurant.
Caliente Pocket.
We've got "Cinco," we've got "Obsessed."
There's good fats and bad fats.
I like to think of myself as a good fat.
I was on "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt."
I think I played Officer Krupke.
Sorry, we can't have you around schools or ducklings.
And I didn't have that much to do, but it was fun.
And Ellie Kemper is very nice.
So "Duck Duck Goose" was my first feature
where I was the lead of an animated film.
And I played the goose.
I was super excited to do it,
and what I remember most is like
"Hey, this animation, this is going to be super easy."
And then after like the sixth session, I was like, "This is too hard."
I didn't even know this until afterwards.
There's this game called "Duck Duck Goose."
What did my kids think of "Duck Duck Goose?"
I don't think they watched it.
I don't force my stuff on them.
But if I do a joke, they have to laugh.
I would never suggest that children are God's punishment for having sex.
But an argument could be made.
Why does "Seinfeld" come up when you search Jim Gaffigan?
I was never on there.
You know, there's a little pet peeve of mine.
So I'm known as a clean comedian, and
clean comedy implies that there are people
that would pay to just hear someone not curse for an hour.
That's not the truth.
The truth is, people want to laugh and they want to hear good comedy.
But you know, I am a big Jerry Seinfeld fan.
And he's also considered clean.
But of course, that's great association.
Oh, Bill Burr's "Paper Tiger." He's brilliant.
John Mulaney.
There's Tom Papa, very funny.
Norm Macdonald. I'd love to be associated with him.
Tell us about your new special, "Comedy Monster."
The reason I chose the name "Comedy Monster" is
occasionally during my show, I'll use this inside voice
that will comment on my material.
Oh, he's doing that voice already.
There was a couple of times
where that inside voice would call me a monster.
Jim you're a monster.
There is a term of like, comedy monster,
like somebody who is obsessed with comedy.
You know, I really enjoy comedy and the process of writing.
So I guess loosely a comedy monster.
And I look like a monster.
It wouldn't surprise me if I woke up tomorrow with a tail.
Well, it looks like I've officially Netflixed myself.
And I had an opportunity to do it to you.
I'm mean with you.
I mean, you watched.
Jim that joke's scary.
But our time together is not over.
Well, you have to go to Netflix and watch "Comedy Monster."
And, if you don't watch, well.
I'll hunt you down and kill you.
Thank you so much, you guys.
Let's see if I can get out of a chair.