my life is 24/7 bad no no I mean the
only happiness I get is when I'm out
with my son I've been to marriage
counseling I've done things I never
thought I would have to do I've lit
candles bought self-help books lingerie
did the candles help hell no all right I
don't love her the way she needs to be
loved and I don't even see a future for
us but then I look at my little boy
sitting at the table across from me and
I think I would suffer any torture to be
with him for all the minutes of his life
you know I don't want to miss out on one
but then there's no joy or laughter in
my home you know and I don't want him
going up in that no laughter that's
terrible my parents have been together
for 35 years and even when they have a
bad fight they end up laughing like
crazy I just I don't want to be one of
those people are getting divorced at 52
and falling down into tears admitting
that they never really loved their
spouse and they feel their life has been
sucked up into a vacuum cleaner you know
I want a great life I want her to have a
great life she deserves that all right
but we're just living in the pretense of
a marriage responsibility and all these
just ideas of how people are supposed to
live then I have these dreams
my dreams I have these dreams you know
that I'm standing on a platform and you
keep going by on a train and you go by
and you go by and you go by you go by
and I wake up with the sweats
you know and then I have this other
dream oh where you're pregnant in bed
beside me naked and I want so badly to
touch you but you tell me not to and
then you look away and and I touch you
anyway right on your ankle and your skin
is so soft I wake up in sobs all right
and my wife is sitting there looking at
me and I feel like I'm a million miles
from her and I know that there's
something wrong you know that I can that
I can't keep living like this that
there's got to be something more to love
than commitment but then I think that I
might have given up on the whole idea of
romantic love that I I might have put it
to bed that that day when you weren't
there you know I think I might've done
[Music]