♪♪♪ ♪
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
LET'S SAY HELLO TO OUR FRIEND MR. JON BATISTE.
HELLO, JON!
>> Jon: HELLO, STEPHEN.
WHAT'S THE VIBE?
WHAT'S THE VIBE TODAY?
>> Stephen: I GOT -- I GOT TWO QUESTIONS FOR YOU, OKAY, REAL
QUICK.
ONE IS, AGAIN, WHEN IS YOUR ALBUM COMING OUT BECAUSE -- HEY,
WHY DON'T I HAVE AN ADVANCED COPY OF IT?
MY FEELINGS ARE MORE THAN HURT.
>> Jon: NO, I SENT YOU THE LINK!
>> Stephen: SO YOU SAY, BUT YOU DON'T SEE ME WALKING AROUND
HUMMING THESE SONGS!
>> Jon: I'LL SEND IT TO YOU AGAIN.
IT'S ON MARCH 19th, IT WILL BE PHYSICALLY AVAILABLE.
BUT YOU'VE GOT TO PRE-ORDERED VERSION, YOU'VE GOT THE EARLY
VERSION.
>> Stephen: AND THE NAME OF THE ALBUM AGAIN, FOR THE PEOPLE
OUT THERE.
>> Jon: WE ARE.
>> Stephen: YES, WE ARE.
>> Jon: WE ARE, MM-HMM.
>> Stephen: CAN YOU GIVE ME ANY KIND OF A TASTE, A HINT, A
SHADOW OF A RICOCHET OF AN IDEA OF A LITTLE OF SOMETHING THAT'S
ON THAT ALBUM?
CAN YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE TASTE?
>> Jon: OH, YEAH!
( BOOGIE-WOOGIE ) ♪ WE DONE A LOT OF LIVIN' ♪
♪ WE'RE WORKIN' OVERTIME ♪ ♪
I NEED YOU, BABY!
>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, THANK YOU, JON.
>> Jon: YES, INDEED.
>> STEPHEN: YOU KNOW, I SPEND MOST OF THE TIME LOVINGLY
JUICING THE DAY'S RIPEST STORIES, SIFTING OUT THE
UNNECESSARY PULP WITH MY STATE-OF-THE-ART TOPICALITY
FILTER, POURING IT INTO A FINE, CHILLED BACCARAT GLASS, AND
TOPING IT OFF WITH A HEALTHY POUR OF
LA MARCA PROSECCO TO GIVE YOU THE EFFERVESCENT $16 BELLINI
THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES, FOLKS, I WAKE UP AFTER A BENDER IN A
COMPOST PILE, SCRAPE WHATEVER EGG SHELLS, CUCUMBER PEELS, AND
COFFEE GRINDS ARE STUCK TO MY SHIRT INTO THE BLENDER I MADE
OUT OF A DISCARDED GARBAGE DISPOSAL, ADD A SPLASH OF
MOONSHINE, THEN PLUG MY NOSE AS I SERVE YOU THE BOOTLEG
HOOCH-SMOOTHIE OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:
"QUARANTINE-WHILE!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, IN "GRIM
PORTENTS OF THE HORRIFIC DECAY THAT AWAITS US ALL" NEWS, THIS
TWITTER POST HAS GONE VIRAL OF AN ABANDONED CHUCK E. CHEESE
ANIMATRONIC THAT WAS FOUND IN A LANDFILL.
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, BILLY!
WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
THIS THING PERFECTLY ENCAPSULATES THE DUALITY OF OUR
AGE.
BEHOLD THE DESOLATION.
THE EYES DOWNCAST IN RESIGNED AGONY, YET THE PERSEVERANCE TO
REMAIN UPRIGHT IN THE FACE OF AN INDIFFERENT UNIVERSE WHEREIN THE
MECHANICAL AND THE FLESH ARE BECOME ONE.
AND IT'S YOURS FOR 5,000 TICKETS.
QUARANTINE-WHILE, A CALIFORNIA WOMAN'S NEW I.D. HAS A PHOTO OF
HER WEARING A MASK.
OFFICIALS SAY "THE D.M.V. IS INVESTIGATING HOW THIS MAY HAVE
HAPPENED."
YES, IT'S QUITE A MYSTERY.
YOU CAN READ ALL ABOUT IT IN THE NEW BOOK, "NANCY DREW AND THE
D.M.V. EMPLOYEE WHO JUST DIDN'T GIVE A CRAP."
QUARANTINE-WHILE, WATCH OUT, CROOKS, BECAUSE POLICE IN
KARACHI, PAKISTAN ARE TRAINING AN ARMED ROLLER-BLADING UNIT.
THEY'RE AN ELITE CRIME-FIGHTING SQUAD WHO CAN ONLY BE DEFEATED
BY A HIGH-TECH CRIMINAL DEVICE KNOWN AS "A LAWN."
BUT THESE GUYS MEAN BUSINESS.
JUST WATCH THEM IN ACTION.
♪♪♪ THAT COP IS THE ONE WHO ALWAYS
GOES, "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!
BUT FIRST, GO BEHIND THAT MOTORCYCLE AND WATCH THIS COOL
TRICK!" I ACTUALLY SAW THEM IN ACTION.
THERE'S A NEW VIDEO OUT OF THEM IN ACTION, AND A GUY RUNS AWAY
FROM THEM UP A FLIGHT OF STAIRS, THE COPS JUST GO, HMM...
DARN IT!
INCLINES!
QUARANTINE-WHILE, THERE'S A HOT NEW TREND IN HOLLYWOOD.
REPORTEDLY, 2021 IS SHAPING UP TO BE A BIG YEAR FOR VIDEO GAME
MOVIES.
RECENTLY THEY'VE LAWFORD MORTAL COMBAT, --
CLASSICS LIKE "MORTAL KOMBAT" AND "RESIDENT EVIL," TO NEWER
HITS LIKE "THE LAST OF US," "BORDERLANDS," AND "METAL GEAR
SOLID."
BUT MOVIES BASED ON VIDEO GAMES ARE NOTHING NEW.
IN FACT, "THE GODFATHER" WAS ORIGINALLY RELEASED ON ATARI.
♪♪♪ >> I'M GONNA GET A HIGH
SCORE YOU CAN'T REFUSE!
♪♪♪ >> STEPHEN: WHEN WE COME BACK,
OUR UNINFORMED CORRESPONDENT BOOTSIE PLUNKETT GOES TO THE
BRONX.
STICK AROUND.
♪♪♪