- Not giving a shit about anybody else's opinion
is the secret sauce, right.
Like, if you really ask me to deconstruct why I think
I'm gonna win I'm empathetic about other people's opinions.
I respect other people's opinions and I really do.
I'm a listener for all my talking.
At the end of the day I just don't think
it's practical to live my life by somebody else's
North Star.
(gentle music)
What's up, blog?
Super excited now for this talk here in Gothenburg, Sweden.
One of the great things about traveling the world is
maybe going to that city or two or three that isn't
Stockholm or in Germany, Berlin, going to second,
third, fourth city is kind of no different than when people
come into the U.S. and do go to a Chicago
or a San Francisco or a Boston or Miami.
And so, I love that part, great audience,
gorgeous setup in there.
Hopefully, Baban will get some contacts and we'll go
give it our best at bat.
(crowd clapping)
- [Narrator] Gary crushed the keynote, as usual,
but this question from the Q and A really got him.
- I can answer this.
You don't have to go any further.
This is very classic.
You know, and being an immigrant I understand it deeply.
So many of us love our parents very much.
Very common in tight knit families immigrants,
southeast Asia, Italy, you know, eastern Europe.
A lot of cliche talk, India.
Let me tell every young person in here and everybody
who's watching
why I tell them the very harsh advice
of going against their parents in their 20's.
If you appease your parents in your 20's
to live the life they want you to, you will not have
a relationship with your parents in your 40's, 50's,
60's and 70's.
It's just the long game.
There is nothing worse than resenting your parents.
And so, the upfront friction of fighting in your 20's
and not becoming a doctor or lawyer.
Let's give this man a mic.
The upfront friction
of not becoming a doctor or a lawyer or professor
in your 20's to make your parents happy
because they grew up in a different game
at a different time, I think is far more
a better play because regret and resentfulness
is super scary and very ugly.
And, I think it's the worst of the two evils.
- So, that's pretty much what I've been doing.
So, when I was 18 I break from with them.
I really don't want it to be like this specific,
but I know a lot are going through the same situation
and now I'm 23 years old.
The first two years of breaking apart from my mother
was getting like a normal job and then is when my dream
as photographer, so I did full-time at a daycare center
and then evenings, weekends I would do with photography
and then I was like, after that I was full-time.
So, I've been with them for three years now.
But, I have no relationship with my mother.
Just the same as Hassan was speaking about.
He said,
so for southeast Asian parents, it's all about,
the kids are property.
- Brother, I understand.
I was born in the Soviet Russia.
Your kids are the by product of you and how you look
to the other parents.
You're a product.
- You said two things that was like, yeah
and I was like, what you wanna do who you love.
- Dude, let me ask you a question.
Whose fault do you think it is that you and your mother
don't have a relationship?
- I mean, I wanna say her.
- Me, too.
- It's her.
- I agree, I get it.
- Back up 'cause I'm working in Sweden.
I'm basically in between the Swedish culture
and the Sri Lankan, so like.
- Let's play out the, guys, life is about choices.
There's no, this is binary.
You either did that
and took the risk and the hope
that if you were successful 'cause you believed in yourself,
to be able to make that leap, you believed, right.
And, you had no choice.
You believed and hoped that you'd be able
to backtrack into a relationship after you achieved, right?
That's the practical thing.
The alternative would be that you'd be sittin',
you would be fundamentally more unhappy right now
and that's with not having a relationship
with your mother.
Theoretically, it sucks on paper.
Everybody who loves their mother, I mean,
my mother's my idol.
Everybody who loves their mother right now and hears
you don't have a relationship goes, that sucks
unless they've lived a life where they lived
by their parents' terms and realized
the cancer that was running through their head
and their heart every day of their lives forever.
Man, I would just go on the offense
to try and have a relationship with your mother.
Suffocate her.
(crowd laughing)
I don't mean physically.
Like, it takes two to tango, to have a relationship.
You could smother her.
You could email her.
You could send her videos.
You could send her gifts.
You could show up at her job.
You could.
- You say that my success would be the breakout point.
But, it's just like, I thought that would be now,
because I'm doing it full-time.
- When's the last time you talked to her?
- A year ago.
- And, what was the conversation?
- It was basically her,
she doesn't get what she's doing.
That's the thing.
- No shit.
Do you have siblings?
- Half siblings, but they're not, as I grew up
like can't accept with my mother.
- Understood.
I would suffocate her.
I'm being serious.
Do you desperately want the relationship?
- Yeah.
- So, then act like it.
Stop fuckin' pondering in your head
and just go fuckin' attack.
- I would like to thank you for sharing this
because I think many people share the situation.
- I know, I know, I know, I know you're doing
the right thing 'cause we're one minute
and 15 seconds over, however I'm asking for two
or three more minutes on this because this is
pretty important shit.
Is that cool?
Can I get two minutes?
Is that all right?
- Sure, unless you wanna.
- Brother, suffocate her.
In the same way,
don't listen, don't be the reverse of who you were at 18.
At 18 you made a binary decision, high risk, high reward,
that you were gonna go do this.
Either, you have to ask yourself if you want
the relationship
because you've already shown me that you have
the ability to make the tough decision, you did it.
You have to ask yourself, and you don't, you shouldn't
give a fuck about this audience or me or anybody else,
you need to be in your own head.
I think it's appropriate to not.
- I was thinking because like.
- You want that negativity in your life?
It's your ma, of course, of course, brother
and it should.
And by the way, that's awesome and it should,
but if you want it,
if you've decided through that one relationship
that you want the relationship, act like it.
Suffocate her.
Just like, when she's walking down the street
come out of the alley and be like, boo.
Act like it.
Thank you.
(gentle music)
- Thank you, sir.
- You're welcome, sir, take care.
We gotta go.
You missed a good part.
There's audio to it.
It happened, the camera was down.
The guy asked me about Tesla and I was talking
about,
- [Questioner] Where would you rank Tesla in your,
long term or short term?
- I don't know that business well enough.
- [Questioner] All right.
- Now, I believe in Elan the most.
But, I understand media and retail
and what would Amazon do.
I just don't understand transportation.
Now theoretically, in my binary, bet on the jockey
not the horse, Elan everyday.
- [Questioner] Yeah, well he's doing it I think.
- I think so, I think so, too.
Whereas, what I was saying up there, I know.
You understand?
It's a difference.
That's such an interesting, blog, that's such
an interesting distinction
like, I talk about what I know.
Cryptocurrency, I'm tryin' to think of other things,
even machine learning, VR, AR, my thoughts.
I'm in the, I think.
You guys are in full-time, I think.
The people that win are in the, I know.
I know.
This stuff,
content, under price attention, this moment, I know.
That's a big fuckin' fundamental difference
between thinking and knowing.
And, acting on your knowing full,
at being thoughtful about your thinking
and being cautious to learn to know,
that is a big difference between winning and losing.
So many people, so many of you are all in,
on what you think.
That's somethin' you have to think about.
I'm about to do a Jim Rome's podcast.
Jim Rome, a legend in the sports announcing,
sports commentating industry.
I'm really excited about it actually.
I've done his radio show, went pretty viral.
We've had dinner.
I'm just a fan of his vibe.
So, I'm excited about this.
See what happens.
Should be some highlights here.
Like, worked, in a store, retail, every Saturday
is the biggest day of the week.
Like, gave up my social life, my 20's dude alpha DNA,
left it on the table.
Went into my early 30's, now married
and still making 40, 70, 80, 90 thousand dollars a year
solid, but building something of that wealth
and then leaving at 34 with no money on paper.
I can't go buy a better home because I have no equity
in anything.
I'm, by all standards, not worth anything.
And then during that whole time of building
this big business for my dad, having all my friends
and acquaintances and my friends' parents say
things like, oh, what's Gary?
You know, asking my good friends from high school
when they were 26, what's Gary Vaynerchuk up to?
Oh, he works at his dad's liquor store.
Like, like, you know, right now
in a world where A-list celebrities are reaching
out to me, super smart and cool and historically successful
people like you are fascinated by me, like,
it's all easy now.
I'm in the shit eating business, Jim.
I'm in the shit eating business right now.
Jim, do you know how many people right now
listening to this are like, ah, like right this second?
Your audience which you know, I'm one of,
but because of the certain thing I've just said
or who the hell knows, because of the mentality
of them looking for excuses.
It's a constant game of eating shit with more attention
I'm getting called out on ludicrous shit like,
you know how it is.
I mean, it just, it's just part of the process.
Anybody who's listening right now, if you have
real ambitions, if you really wanna win,
the great thing to learn is how to eat shit, aka,
get used to people criticizing, understand
that people default into cynicism.
90% of people are unhappy and they wanna drag you down
and you shouldn't be mad at them.
They're not trolls.
You know, everybody who shits on me I have empathy for
because if they have energy to shit on me
they're in such a bad place for themselves
that they want somebody else to be there with them.
So, I'm not mad at people at Twitter saying that I suck
or I'm fulla shit, or daddy put me on.
I feel bad for them.
I'm excited now.
Just gave a great podcast to Jim Rome.
I definitely am gonna blast that out to all of you.
Baban loved it.
We also just made a little reference
to what my financial situation was when I left
why my brain, I think for a lot of you it's something
that's left out of the story and we'll be clarifying that.
But, with all that fun,
that's all very secondary to my favorite moment
of every episode.
Oh shit, I fuckin' left my hoodie.
I'm sad now.
I like that hoodie.
The hoodie that I was a twin with you.
Anyway, no dwelling about the hoodie.
Excuse me, the beanie because what's amazing
about Airport Gary is when you're the greatest
super hero on earth you've always got a backup beanie.
Yeah, you know, Batman's got multiple things in that belt.
Airport Gary,
the greatest super hero on earth,
he is not set back by the beanie being left
in the hotel room because he slept with it
because he was cold in the bed.
He has a backup
and he is almost officially ready to dominate,
domination time.
(gentle music)