- So you got married and became a mom in your 40s,
which I think is amazing
because I didn't start to do anything really until 31,
I feel like,
and I feel like I really had a life.
I feel like I had like my selfish years,
I feel like I wasn't ready.
Like, is there a reason why you waited so long to do it?
- Yeah (she laughs)
- I saw those eyes.
- You're so sweet.
You're like, I mean, I was 31.
I was 41 when I got married and had a baby.
- Where I'm from, you're basically dead at 31,
like I'm from the south.
So yeah, people are like, "Oh, so you're gonna die alone."
Like, so by 30, yeah,
that was a
big deal. - That's so antiquated,
isn't it? - Yes,
that's why I don't, I love,
I loved having my 20s.
I loved figuring some stuff out
and it turns out I needed to figure some more out.
- I just, for me, I think everyone's different obviously,
but for me,
and I talk about this a lot in the book.
I didn't have a great example of marriage.
My parents divorced when I was a year old
and I didn't have the most stable upbringing.
I had a lot of love and,
but I never felt like I had a good example of marriage.
So why would I?
That was one reason.
And the other reason was honestly, I never met,
I wasn't,
for me, it took me a long time to get rid of my narrative
of what marriage was
and picking the wrong people,
which is why I never felt like getting married
because I just couldn't imagine a life with that person.
And then when I met, when I met my husband,
it was six months in to us dating when I thought,
- [Kelly] Wow!
- [Guest] Aw, there he is!
- [Kelly] Six months in?
- [Guest] Six months in
I thought if he asked me to marry him tomorrow, I would.
I mean, at that point I was 39 when I met him.
And I just, it was like, yeah, I would.
He didn't.
I mean, he waited a year and a bit.
Yeah.
But, but yeah.
Once, I just knew, I was like,
life is so easy with him.
Everything's easy and more fun and it felt good.
And then, you know, and I said to him,
I actually did say this to him.
He's six years younger than I am.
And I said, listen, you are,
he comes from a really good family,
and really good family values.
And his parents have a healthy, happy marriage.
And I said, you know, I'm turning,
I was about to turn 40,
and I said, I think maybe you should,
we should probably break up
so you can go and find a girl.
I don't know if I can have kids.
I don't even know if I want them.
And you're a family guy
and I can see how important family is to you.
And he just laughed at me.
He was like,
I think it's more important to find the person
you want to spend your life with and the rest will follow.
- And he's probably like, I think I'll make the choice.
- Yeah, and I was really impressed with that
because so many guys seem,
you know, age seems like a big deal to us women,
especially when you hit 40 and you haven't had a child yet.
There's this strange thing that society does to us,
which is like, you're washed up or it's over.
- [Kelly] Yeah. - And that's just,
that's just not true.
And I wouldn't have been ready to have a kid
or have a marriage until I was 40.
I just wasn't ready.
And now I'm grateful that, I mean, I got really lucky.
We got pregnant by accident, totally by accident,
without knowing, just before he asked me to marry him.
But it was just a happy coincidence.
And I thank the lucky stars cause I,
I am not the same person, you know,
at 30 that I would have been at 40.
And so I had the time.
And also like you said, I've been there, done that.
I don't want, I love having an excuse to stay home
and not have to go to the party.
- [Kelly] Oh my gosh, I'm her.
- Sorry, I don't have a babysitter.
- And it's not that I'm being snobby
or like I'm, you know, I'm a recluse.
I just really, I feel like I did a lot of things.
Like in my twenties, I traveled, I did all of the things.
I feel like if you get married before that,
there might be end up being a level of resentment
that you didn't, you missed out on something.
Or I don't know, I felt that.
That's why I didn't, I didn't get married.
I think a lot of people feel that way
and they have children way too young.
And then it causes problems,
but I felt like I was at the perfect time to have a baby.
I was ready.
- [Kelly] That's awesome.