Hello there.
Today we are talking about
how to be an extraordinary life coach.
You're a life coach, and now you're wondering,
"Hey, I'm a good life coach or I'm an okay life coach,
but how do I really become an extraordinary life coach?"
Now, before we get into what would it take for you
to become an extraordinary life coach,
let's define what extraordinary life coaching really means.
An extraordinary life coach
from the point of view of this video is somebody
who can walk into a conversation with any of their clients
and be able to support them creating extraordinary outcomes
in their lives.
It would not matter as to what area of life
that is being addressed, any area of their life
could have deep meaningful impact
because this coach was there to support their journey.
So are you ready right now as a life coach
to become an extraordinary life coach?
Well, here are some of the ways that you can go
from a life coach to becoming an extraordinary one.
The first principle of extraordinary life coaching
is how capable are you to bring awareness
to the situation of your client?
You see, one of the key successes of a life coach
is when they can bring attention to their client's life
to what's important.
Remember, anybody that is coming to you as a coach
is high in context.
These are individuals who are saying,
"Hey, help me change my life."
That's why they have engaged with you.
They are paying you money to be able to work with you.
So they're already high context.
They've said yes to life changes.
They've said yes to you as their supporter
in their life change.
But what they have not yet said yes to
is a full understanding of themselves.
They have not said yes to that do they really understand
each of the nuance that is happening in their life?
These individuals that come to you
already looking for a life transformation
because they're signing up with a life coach,
these individuals are interested enough
to ask themselves the question,
"Hey, I would really like to change my life.
Maybe I should work with a life coach."
And then they engage with you.
Which means if we can bring their attention
towards what is important,
we have accelerated the pace of outcome
that they would have in their life.
So your primary function as an extraordinary life coach
is how capable are you to bring attention
towards what's important in their life?
Are you somebody who is tiptoeing around the ideas
and concepts that may feel uncomfortable,
or you are a fearless coach who is stepping forward
and going into directions in areas that may be uncomfortable
for your clients discuss the step into?
The more you bring awareness
towards the nuances of a client's life,
the more you have the potential to unlock something
that your client is not even aware of that they have.
The more you're able to bring attention
towards those nuanced challenges, pain points,
or passions they may have,
the more is your ability to make their life from a good life
to an extraordinary one,
making you an extraordinary life coach.
The second principle of being an extraordinary life coach
is your ability to be able to bring attention
towards their thinking around different areas of life.
You see when an event happens in our life,
when we are in a circumstance in our life,
we always have a thought.
The thought is neutral.
It doesn't have an emotion towards it.
You're watching this video and you have a thought.
You're though maybe I'm watching this video,
but you can choose thinking from there on,
you can have a thought pattern or thinking pattern
post the thought, which is you may go, wow,
Ajit really likes wearing hats in this video,
or you're thinking the pattern could be,
this is great information, I should use it.
Or you may go, "Ajit is talking way too fast,
I don't like him."
Whatever thinking pattern maybe
will trigger a set of emotions in your life,
exactly how your clients choose a thinking pattern,
and that triggers an emotion in their life.
Based on this emotion, we create a reaction.
This reaction turns into action in our life.
And as we take that action in our life,
we get a particular set of results.
So if we can somehow help our clients navigate
and choose a better thinking pattern,
they are more likely to get a better outcome in their life.
Let's take the example of you watching this video.
As I said, you may be watching this video and saying,
"Ajit talks too fast, I didn't wanna watch this video."
And you say, "The emotion is I'm frustrated,"
and you stop watching this video
and you don't take any actions as a consequence of that.
Or if you right now choose a different thinking pattern,
you say, "Hey, I love this video.
Thank you for giving me this amazing information.
I'm gonna hit that like button,
I'm gonna subscribe to this channel
because this is awesome information."
What will happen as a consequence of that,
of that action is that you will get recommendations
from YouTube to watch more of such videos.
And as you watch more such videos,
you get better and better
because your techniques get better,
you get more ideas on how to really impact lives,
and so well clearly you will have a more extraordinary
life coaching career.
So your thinking pattern can invite you to hit subscribe
and leave a comment, and like this video,
or your thinking pattern can ask you to quit this journey
of becoming an extraordinary life coach.
Choose a more empowered thinking pattern,
help your clients choose a more empowered thinking pattern.
The more empowered their thinking patterns become,
the more likely they're going to have a more extraordinary,
more empowered life circumstances.
Recently, I've had a big shift in my own thinking patterns
and thanks to this coaching ability of being able to say,
"Hey, what am I really thinking?"
I've being able to completely transform my energy levels,
I have been able to try and tell them how I feel
on a day-to-day basis.
I have been able to change my health.
I've been able to change my choices in life.
I have been able to change my relationship.
You see, early on in my life because of a habit
that I picked up in childhood,
I was continuing to sabotage my health
for a long period of time.
You see, I grew up in India and I had a really loving mom.
The way she expresses her love is by feeding me
some amazing food and she is an outstanding cook.
And because of that, I created a comfort with food,
which means if I would have any kind of emotion,
be it happy or be it sad,
I would always find comfort in food.
I would always say, "I'm anxious, I should eat some food.
I'm excited, I should eat some food.
We have to celebrate something,
I should eat some food.
While eating is not necessarily a problem,
overeating became a problem in my life.
I would eat food for no reason whatsoever,
and soon enough I was overweight,
and I have struggled with my health ever since,
since my 20s, I've struggled with my health.
I have constantly gotten in and out of the cycle,
never really able to set up something
that was really empowering for me.
Recently, I had my second child,
my daughter Aiyla.
And as I had Aiyla, one day I was caught myself wondering,
what would my life be when I would be 65 or 75?
How do I wanna be as a 75 year old?
Am I excited to dance with my kids and go out partying
and having fun in different ways?
Can I do outdoor activities?
Can I still do a hike?
Can I still have fun with my grandchildren
if they decide to have children?
And my answer to myself, my thinking to myself
was not encouraging.
I was like, "No, if I continue this pattern of falling back
to eating comfort foods when I'm feeling an emotion,
irrespective of it was good or bad,
it's not gonna create an empowered lifestyle for me."
And so I asked myself a more empowered question.
I said, "Okay, so what is it
that an ideal 65 year old Ajit feels like,
looks like, behaves like?
What is his actions?
What would he do on a day-to-day basis?
How would he operate when he is having an emotional meltdown
or an emotional excitement?"
And I started to build a new habit,
a new reward system for myself so I can build
a more empowered habit.
Soon, I found myself way more energetic than I was,
way more engaged with my kids that I am,
way more engaged with my partner than I was before.
And I am so excited about my life today
because I could choose a more empowered thinking.
There is no point in life where we are like,
"I am a complete person now
and everything in my life is fixed."
I am sure I will be using
the same extraordinary life coaching skills
that I am sharing with you today in my life
again and again and again.
And you can use the same strategy
to create extraordinary life outcomes for your clients.
If we can encourage our client's thinking
towards curiosity of change, towards interest in saying,
"How can I change my life?
What is it that I can do to create an extraordinary life?"
If we can lean into that curiosity,
by challenging their thinking,
by encouraging them to choose a more empowered thinking,
we can become extraordinary life coaches
and we can support creating extraordinary lives.
The third principle of being an extraordinary life coach
and to create extraordinary outcomes for your clients lives,
is for you to be able to draw attention
toward small, but meaningful changes and habits
in your client's life.
Like I mentioned in my previous example,
I picked up some habits around food as a child.
There's always habits that we unconsciously pick up
because of our environment often in our childhood.
The unfortunate thing is because our attention
has never been brought to these habits,
is that we continue to operate
from habits that we developed as kids.
Now what a six year old build as a habit,
if a 16 year old or a 26 year old,
36 year old is still continuing that habit,
it's almost as if we didn't learn anything after that habit
that we learned as a six year old,
which is why our invitation as an extraordinary life coach
to our clients have to be on how can we create better,
more meaningful new habits that are more in alignment
with who you are today?
And that happens because one of two reasons.
One is because we experience a deep amount of pain
around what our current habit is.
While my health wasn't in pain
when I decided to change my habit,
I could associate my long-term pain that I would have
if I continued a particular habit.
I could dig deep and find that pain to go,
if I continue to take this action that I'm taking today,
which I developed as a habit as probably as a 10 year old,
I would not have a joyful life 20, 30 years from now.
And because of that future pain,
I could tap into my energy center and ask myself
the question on what's the big shift I need to bring
for me to be able to start this change process?
And while that pain was enough for me to get started,
I also knew that that wasn't enough
for me to continue the journey.
And this is where small changes in our habits
are widely important to create longterm habit changes,
longterm changes that would help us create
extraordinary lives.
And here is what it means.
While I asked my question to say,
"Hey, what is the behavior that I have
for every single time I have an emotional challenge
or an emotional excitement, and it's full all the time,
what is it that I really want that change to be?"
So I had to ask myself,
"What is it that I need to create a new habit
for me to respond to different emotions in my life?"
And so I asked myself that question
and my immediate answer was, "Well, wouldn't it be amazing
to create the outcome that I wanna create
as a 65, 75 year old,
where I have the energy and playfulness of a child
as I play with my children and my kids and so forth?"
My answer was, well, I have to have an amazing body.
I should have a body of an athlete.
I've never had the body of an athlete.
So I said, "Well, if I commit to that change,
well most likely I'm gonna give up on it
somewhere down the line because it's a very long journey."
So I asked myself, "Hey, what is the thing that I can do?
What is in my power where I can do this act?"
And because I am doing this small activity
on a day-to-day basis, or every few day basis,
I start creating progress
in the direction of the outcome that I want.
And so I picked up one of our programs called 10X,
and I said, "I'm gonna do 10X."
10X only requires you to work out or go to the gym
20 minutes a day, three times a week.
That's all that is required.
I was like, that seems easy.
I can find 20 minutes once every other day in my life.
That seems reasonable.
I think I can create that small habit change to say,
I'm not even replacing my need to grab food,
what I'm simply doing is asking myself the question
of saying next time when I have a little bit of a challenge
or an emotional challenge on a Monday,
instead of just grabbing my favorite meal,
could I invest 20 minutes in the gym, just on a Monday.
And then I asked myself that question just on a Wednesday
and just on a Thursday and so on and so forth.
And as I asked myself those questions
and started making the small tiny change in my life.
Small tiny change.
Very easy to make.
I started to see how I feel after I worked out.
So when I was eating food as a response to my emotions,
what I started to do is I brought my awareness
to how I feel after I've eaten the food.
Now, as my awareness went there,
I was like, you know what?
I feel lack of energy, this is why I don't feel so excited.
That's why I'm so tired at the end of the day
that I don't have energy to play with my kids,
or I feel a little bit more drain on the weekdays
and I always associated with my work,
but it was actually what I was eating.
So I was like, okay, my awareness now is that
if I eat certain foods,
my body doesn't really give me energy.
It kind of takes away energy.
Food should give me energy,
it shouldn't take away energy from me.
And then I said, "Okay, let's bring my awareness
towards what's happened after I'm finished with my workout."
And I realized, when I finish my workout,
I'm actually more energetic.
I feel more empowered.
I feel like going out and playing with my kids.
I can go running with my kids after that.
And I like playing a lot more with my wife after that,
I'm more energized in social gatherings.
Or like, hold on,
so the reward off me actually hitting the gym
is significantly more desired for me
than the reward I was getting because of food.
Now, this shifted my perspective
and the reality of working out completely for me.
So small habit change that I could implement fairly easily
and then bring my attention towards the reward of it,
the outcome of it started to shift my reality,
started to change the way I was approaching my life
in context of exercise.
The reason why I tell you this story is because small habits
changed over time create way more outcomes
and way more sustained habits than a big massive action
over short period of time,
because our motivation is very high
when you're taking a big massive step forward,
but it also means that in a matter of days or weeks,
it starts to decline,
and we lose that motivation,
and then we need another jolt to find motivation again.
But if you create small incremental changes over time,
because they're small and they are within your lifestyle,
they are within the ease of execution,
you're able to create long-term sustained changes.
Now to create an extraordinary life,
if you are able to guide your clients
through these three things.
First, bring awareness towards what's happening for them.
Second, how are they thinking about it?
What is their thinking pattern
and can they choose a more empowered thinking pattern?
And thirdly, can we implement small incremental habits
that will create a lifetime of change over time?
Will help your clients create an extraordinary life.
And because it will help them create an extraordinary life,
you become an extraordinary life coach.
You see the only way to know
if you're an extraordinary life coach,
is if you're able to create extraordinary outcomes
for your clients.
If your coaching follows these three principles
that I talked about,
if your coaching implements these three ideas,
you will find yourself creating extraordinary outcomes
for your clients over a period of time.
And as you get them extraordinary outcomes,
well, you now are an extraordinary life coach.
So out of these three ideas,
which one is the one that stands out to you the most?
Which one is the one that you have already been using,
and which was the one that you are very excited
to bring to your practice?
I'm curious to hear more,
so share with me in the comment section below.
Go ahead, hit that like button if you enjoyed this video,
share it with somebody that you think
can also utilize this information.
And go ahead and hit that red subscribe button,
and the bell icon, so next time we post another video
that can help you be an extraordinary life coach,
you can get a notification here on YouTube.
Thank you so much for watching.
This is Ajit, and you're watching this on Evercoach.