Hello, British Vogue. I'm Adele and today I'm going to be taking on the ultimate British taste test
with this blindfold on, trying to identify some classic British dishes. Before we begin I'm going
to show you how I like my cups of tea, which contrary to the "Hello" video, which actually
I didn't prepare that when I was filming it, someone else did, I like to brew the teabag,
add a bit of sugar, bit of milk, stir it, stir it, stir it, wring it out, put it wherever you want.
I like PG Tips myself, but that's Twinings. I'm gonna pop me fancy thing on.
Feeling nervous. Also feeling like I'm in the next Fifty Shades Of Grey movie with this on.
What's that? What the f**k is that?
It's a cut-up pickled egg this bit, innit? Oh. Pickled egg.
I don't love a pickled egg. I actually used to work in a café. I used to work at the
River Lea café, in Tottenham, and so it started off where I'd just be
like helping, like, take out the food and stuff like that, but a year later, woo,
I was making some of those breakfasts. Only got £25 for the whole day. I'm not a fan of a
pickled egg, but it's nowhere near as bad as jellied eel. And jellied eel is little chopped up bits of
eel, which is probably just boiled, actually, now thinking about it, so got no flavour in it at all.
One of my nans, I won't name them, she likes eating them without her dentures in. Sorry.
Oh, it's cockles. I can tell already.
Last time I had cockles must have been... I was definitely under 10. We used to go to Whitstable
sometimes, down to the beach. When I say a beach, though, I mean obviously a very British beach, with
pebbles and all that, but they were yummy and very nostalgic. On to the next one. Hang on, I need to feel it. Oh!
Smoked mackerel.
Aw, that reminds me of my mum. My mum used to love making mackerel and rice. Oh, it's kippers!
It tastes just like mackerel. I learnt to cook on my own. I was on my own maybe when I was like 18,
maybe like two months, and I was getting loads of takeaways and it was just costing too much money,
so I think I read 30 Minute Meals by good old Jamie Oliver. That's how I learned the basics of
cooking, but I do make an incred, even Italians that I know have said this, that I make an incredible
spicy pasta. I can't believe I got that wrong. It's getting a bit stinky. Should we take it away?
Is this another appetiser?
Pork pie. Please be right because I got the other one wrong. Yay! Might have just pulled off a lash.
I've never had one as posh as this. It's very buttery pastry. I normally just
get the little ones you get in a pack from the supermarkets and they're always a bit cold and
stuffed. My favourite British dish would be a Sunday roast, which I'm pretty great at doing
every single Sunday. It's my son's favourite. And a Nando's. Woo! I get like a quarter of chicken
with some coleslaw, some rice and some fries and I get like medium peri heat. Peri sprinkles on
me fries as well. On me fries? Me chips! Oh, are you going to give me a chip butty? I'd love that.
Oh, bangers and mash? What is that? I don't normally feel my food up, by the way.
Is this a fry-up? It's a fry-up. Oh, bacon! British bacon!
A fry-up, A, is the perfect hangover cure, which obviously I'm always hungover. OK, well on the
plate we've got two fried eggs. We've got, what's that? It was, before I ate it, two bits of bacon,
two grilled tomatoes, three black pudding. You lot are mean for giving me that. I don't like it.
That's the congealed sausage blood thing. Well, see this might be controversial because I like
Worcestershire sauce on my beans, just like a little dabble of Heinz ketchup. Sometimes in the cafés they
put this horrible other brand, I can't remember what it was called, it was so vinegary I used to
hate it. That's why I actually started, I still do, I carry little sachets of Heinz ketchup everywhere
with me. A bit like Beyoncé has hot sauce in her bag, I have Heinz ketchup. Right, what's next?
Is that jacket potato? Oh, it's fries. Oh, mushy pea. Oh.
It's fish and chips. I look like a right... But I normally had a battered sausage, which I don't know if I
can describe that without sounding a bit rude, so I won't. There was also "Oi oi saveloy". Saveloys, they
were weird. It was like a astronaut sausage. It was all like tightly condensed, wrapped in orange skin.
See! Oh, so the question is, though, is a shepherd's pie lamb and cottage pie beef? Yeah.
I'm gonna go with cottage, oh, cottage pie or shepherd's pie. Oh, it's not that. Oh, is it a fish pie?
Oh, I got fixated on it. No one makes a greater fish pie than me. I'll do a Jamie Oliver one.
It's, basically, you kind of cook it before you even cook it, with loads of lemon.
I'm really giving Jamie Oliver some airtime today, aren't I?
My ideal meal, my death row meal, my last meal would be a McChicken nugget with a Big Mac and
then fries. That's my three course. I eat it at least once a week. Oh, hello. Oh.
Trifle. Thank god I got that one right. Cheap and cheerful. It's jelly, custard, cream and then I don't
actually ever put fruit on mine, I just do the jelly, custard and cream. I do really like sweets
actually. I do love a Terry's Chocolate Orange. I can woof one of those down. Oh, there's lots happening.
It tastes a bit like Christmas pudding, so
it must be a fruit cake. Oh, I don't want to get it wrong! Is it fruit cake?
Is that, what is that? Eh!? Spotted dick. Saucy. Got that one wrong then.
Oh, it's a pie. Oh, oh, it's bloody huge. Oh, banoffee pie!
Mmm, banoffee pie. Oh, I knew that the minute I sliced through that sort of banana.
My mum, she used to make a really good one of these. Her food never looked good but it used to
taste good. She was useless at making any kind of desserts or baking and stuff like that, so
everything she ever did would just be called a rock cake, because rock cakes are meant to look like rocks.
Oh, no. What's it called? It's like, it's like chequered inside, with different colours.
Oh, what's it called? Battenberg! Ah, Dot Cotton cake.
I've got it right, though, a little bit, though. It reminds me of my nana. Tea and cake. Yes,
definitely one of my childhood favourites, for sure. Just didn't know it was called a Battenberg.
OK, there's lots of strawberries. I'm just trying again. Oh, is that a bit of meringue?
Eton mess. It always sounds posh to me because Eton's obviously a really posh private boys
school. I think my first memory of Eton mess would have been... I mean, I grew up in north London, in
Tottenham, but we did a few years in south London when I was older. It was the best
house I've ever lived in. It was with my mum. In fact, this house always gets spoken about
in the press as if it was like really run down and stuff, because it was above
what became a discount store, and all of our little roof terraces were all linked
and it was amazing. We had a young family at the end, with these three lovely little
boys that used to run up and down in their nappies, and I feel like one of them made a
big Eton mess one day and brought it out, so I reckon I was probably, like, a teenager.
That was fun. What's my score? You're saying I got the kippers wrong, except it's the same thing as
mackerel. Go ask anyone in London. Go ask anyone in the UK. It's the same thing, it tastes the same,
same texture, everything. And then spotted dick, I haven't had that before, so fine. I mean it's food,
just because I've lost weight, I know everything there is to know about food. I eat so much food
still. Thank you, British Vogue, for a lovely afternoon of nostalgic foods. It's been amazing. I've had a
lot of fun. I'd like to see who does this next, if they get more points than I do. Right.